Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 4:32 am Post subject: Good looks equals confidence?
Hey there, I don't post that much so mayb u don't know how I am. I'm Vero20, used to b Valexa, but that account is dead I think. Anyway have u people seen those reality shows when people get extreme make overs and then they say they feel very confident with their new looks? Well the thing is I got a make over, I got a nose job and got rid of my glasses. I used to feel really ugly before this, but after it people started giving me compliments and well I now feel pretty. But in the inside I'm still the same insecure and shy girl. So make over for me, it helped but not that much.
For those people on the reality shows, they had a someone to talk to to help them out with their other issues. It wasn't just a physical makeover even though that's what it seems like.
Some of those people felt insecure because they thought they were ugly. So by changing their appearance it gave them confidence.
But then again it is TV, so just because the people claim to be more confident, doesn't mean they really are.
There are people who are born "beautiful" but are still shy or insecure for whatever reason.
It depends, if you were only strongly insecure about your looks then by changing that, your problem will be solved, but if you were also very insecure about your personality, then by only changing your looks, you only partially solved your issues.
Yeah, exactly what you said, I'm more insecure about my personality so I never really grooming myself too much and never want to.
Joined: May 04, 2006 Posts: 248 Location: New Jersey
Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 11:19 pm Post subject:
Well i'm not saying i'm good looking because I don't think so... but people tell me i'm pretty and guys have always been interested in me (not that i've persued that) and I still have low low self confidence and low self esteem. I still feel really bad about myself inside and out, I think I would feel just the same if I was a model and the same if I had been deformed in a car accident
Joined: May 14, 2006 Posts: 19 Location: West Midlands, England
Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:00 am Post subject:
I feel that ur confidence ( or lack of) tends to stem from a combination what the events that r goin on in ur life and the results or psychological issues that u may have from previous experiences. Of course having good looks can have an effect on the events that are taking place now but if ur lack of confidence comes from deep psychological issues then of course it's not gunna make much difference what u look like. Current events may not even have much of an impact on ur confidence!
I'm kinda speaking from experience with this as I believe that a couple of events in my life, especially sumthin that happened to me when i was ten ( i'm 21 now and have dealt with most of the emotional fallout from the incident, but it still has a slightly negative effect on me) have affected my confidence negatively. Although since I have made massive steps to deal with these incidents, my confidence have increased gradually.
Judging by sum of the posts I have read, I bet that it is the same for a lot of the ppl of SPW.
_________________ It isn't about keeping up with others, it's about being yourself.
I'm happy with the way I look, at least in the since that that's not why I'm unhappy. I don't think being a knock out necessarily equals instant confidence. Do you have an anxiety disorder? Cause if you dont, maybe I could see the outside affecting how you feel. But for me, the fact that i have good self esteem (at least for looks) doesnt minimize my anxiety problem. Maybe that couldnt make sense to some people. And it's like a "oh shes unhappy but shes attractive so shes only like half way unhappy type thing." I have known really pretty people to be completely depressed. So I think its really either way
There are a lot of ugly people who are confident, too. You have to believe that you are pretty in order to be confident, it doesn't just happen as soon as you get a makeover.
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