Someone tells you that they just want to be friends

themousethatroared

Have you ever developed a crush on someone only to realize that the person did not share your feelings? Have you had the person tell you that they just wanted to be friends? I had this happen to me lately. I thought I was perfectly fine with it. Friends are good to have I thought. No harm in sharing your feelings towards someone I thought. I thought I was okay with it but I wasn't. I felt rejected and the thought came to me of "Oh no not this again!" These thoughts became increasingly difficult to turn off. Then I wanted to get away from these thoughts so I thought I would stay away from the person. It didn't work. I felt guilty and mean and the person felt hurt. I could not turn back what I had done and do it differently. What is done is done I guess. How do I handle this better in the future? How do I not create a fear of sharing my feelings again?

SqueakyGibson · Newbie User Joined: Oct 16, 2006 Posts: 38

Kinetik · Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 11:07 pm Post subject:

I've only ever had it the other way around, where I'm just trying to be a nice guy and get uninvited flirtations as a result. I don't encourage that development in that I generally feel uncomfortable in a typical relationship, because I know it will expose me to all kinds of social settings where every day is a challenge to get through.

Thelema · Expert User Joined: Jul 22, 2006 Posts: 802 Location: USA

I had this happen to me not too long ago. Even tho I knew a relationship would never work out but I had developed feelings for a girl. I had been feeling these feelings for months and decided to tell her. When I told her she said that I didn't have feelings for her! I told her I really was in love with her and she still didn't believe me! Later on that week...She said that she doesn't have feelings for me and that it would never work out. I felt a little broken hearted for a while but I knew she didn't have feelings for me so I didn't feel bad for very long because if fate wants us together then we'll be together and if she doesn't love me I can't make her love me. She knows I still love her and that I'll always love her and we're still good friends so it isn't so bad.

_________________

Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything

be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.

Emma · Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 6:53 am Post subject:

That happened to me, I think I went way overboard with sending him emails telling him how much I loved him and that I would change my whole life for him Embarassed

Which is bad because I could never say it to his face, and now he's completely ignoring me.
It hurts when someone doesn't want to be anything more than friends and you have feelings for them.
I guess it doesn't hurt to share your feelings though, the only thing that happened to me was feeling like a shit, well, more than usual anyway

Y · Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 3:16 pm Post subject:

NJ_Punk · Newbie User Joined: Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 7

I can relate to this, i've just never actually told her. Another friend is convinced she feels the same for me but i don't wanna risk it. I know it'll put her in an awkward situation if i told her and i really don't want to do that.

God bless unrequited love Sad

Thelema · Expert User Joined: Jul 22, 2006 Posts: 802 Location: USA

NJ_Punk · Newbie User Joined: Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 7

LittleMissScareAll · Expert User Joined: Jun 15, 2005 Posts: 716 Location: Hell

Try going out with somebody for 7 months and then them telling you they "only think of you as a friend." Crying or Very sad

And he didn't even mean that...he didn't even want to be my friend. Mad