I dont leave my house much. Im a hermit. Im really good at making friends though. I hide my anxiety and phobias well. from the naked eye no one would ever know. but anyone who lives with me could tell cause I CANNOT leave home. everywhere I go is dangerous and there really is no excape. for the past 1.5 years its been all getting progressively worse to the point where i couldnt go to my job anymore because instead of showing up I would drive around the outside of the building for an hour having panic attacks. after I lost my job i never looked for a new one. I just didnt. so for 8 months I was on unemployment and unbeknownst to them not making any effort to find a job. now im on temporary disability, but theres no end in site at this point. I mean nothing so far gets me better.
Im on 100mg of Lamictal (cause any higher and I get flu-like symptoms), 35mg of effexor (cause any higher I get side effects from it) and 1/2 a tab of Klonopin every night before bedtime.
and it doesnt help. I have phsyc appt tomorrow, but I dont know that anything any phsyc offers will every help my situation. I hate being so pessimistic but i suppose it just comes with the territory.
_________________ ♥these lines on my wrist are here to proove that I exsist.♥
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