Actually criminologist say that serial killers (some of whom rape women before killing them) tend to be men who are loners (usually by choice) who have antisocial personality disorder (take a look at http://www.geocities.com/ptypes/antisocialpd.html for a definition), which is a disorder where people are totally self-centered and have an inability to empathize with other people. Allot of these people are loners by choice but can lure people in by an outgoing and charming personality.
I think the poster is being awefully biased and unfair. It seems as though you don't know what SA really is. And being biased you saw some evidence that may have supported your presumption of what SA is. But none of your documents say that these killers/rapists explicitly have SA. Yes, they do have a chip on there shoulder and maybe find it hard to relate to people, but those symptoms in themselves don't mean that these people have social anxiety disorder.
Maybe, you were hurt once, sorry if that was the case. It is also wrong and hurtful to paint all social phobic men as dangerous. I personally think social phobes whether male or female are some of the most labled and misunderstood people in the world- yes, I am aware that there maybe a slight bias there
egahtz! haha perfoming "cognitive-behavior therapy", you are truly warped, sorry, but maybe you should look up the phrase in an encyclopedia.
I think alot of people including men, become more self concious because of alot of 'brutally' honest opinions that aren't backed up by real facts but a distorted and biased interpretation of the facts. If you want to educate you need to start by being more objective and also educating yourself on the facts, not developing distorted hypothesis that are backed up with half truths and biased guessing. Try some compassion also- people are more likely to learn from objectivity and compassion rather than 'brutal' truths. Sorry, just being brutally honest.
Last edited by wistful_dementia on Mon Nov 15, 2004 12:40 am; edited 2 times in total
hahaha... "no solo activity"... that is almost as insecure as someone saying women shouldn't use a vibrator, dildo, or have sex with other women, because I am afraid that it will warp your mind and you won't want to have sex with me anymore . sooo. ... absurd.
You kind of remind me of someone who would have been involved in witch burning. You fear those people who aren't just 'quite right' so you develope all sorts of distortions as an excuse to burn them. News for you- although alot of people who were burned were different most weren't in reality 'witches' or consorts of the devil. And even the spooky old women who were lonely outcasts weren't witches they were widows and goodwives who practiced traditional folk medicine- in reality most of them were very nice, just misunderstood. In other words just because someone acts differently doesn't necessarily mean that they are a danger.
OMG!!! That post scares the heck out of me, i hope your not serious, because i could never see myself doing anything like that. yes i'm socialphobic, and yes i don't relate to women too well, but don't you think that you are going too extreme??? That post has made me feel so embarassed to be a socialphobic young man.
What's next? The boogy man is really a social phobe post? This is rediculous. You can't define an illness by saying W,X,Y,Z are criteria for social anxiety... hmmm... these serial killers/ rapists have W and Y qualities therefore they are socialphobes. That is just stupid. Maybe you should see a therapist for your paranoia.
I think this thread should be well and truly ignored. Dont be panicky about it and dont let it scare you, you all know what sort of person you are and I'm sure there aren't any people here that have any intentions of doing those things, I doubt any of you have even considered doing anything like it.
As they say, dont believe everything you read
This is my perspective on what the original poster said:
1. First, it is an absurd overgeneralization to say that men with social anxiety are likely to become criminals. There must be tens of thousands of men like us in the US alone, and you simply do not see the numbers to warrant such an assumption. If SA leads to these social problems, it certainly doesn't do so in the VAST MAJORITY of men with SA.
2. The OP likely is a male who is very afraid that HE is a "bad person" who is offensive to women. Most of us men who have social/sexual anxiety around women are like this.
I know, for me, one of the extremely hurtful messages that has affected my emotions is the criticism that "men are inherently brutal and violent" and that "heterosexuality and male sexuality are inherently vicious." We men know that women fear us, and we assume that this means we are bad people and we worry that we are just as evil as they imagine us to be. (False)
I distrust my sexual attraction to their bodies, and I assume that my unfailing interest in their boobs, butts and legs makes me a bad or evil person. (False -- no matter what people say.)
3. So, in other words, the OP's message can reinforce these sorts of negative feelings -- by making us worry that we really ARE rapists, and therefore is very dangerous on a forum like this. Perhaps the moderators should remove this thread.
4. We should be avoiding all sorts of negative, unrealistic, and catastrophic thinking. Thus, we should avoid thoughts like "Every man is a potential rapist" or "insecure men are dangerous." (Even though certain people would encourage men and women to feel this way.)
5. But, the OP also makes good points. That fear is very closely related to hate, and that people in pain tend to inflict pain on others in order to overcome their pain -- we know these to be true. We've seen it in ourselves. I don't doubt that many rapists are frightened of women and do the things they do to assert power over them. But whatever else is true, YOU do not have to be that way.
6. Also, he/she is right that pornography leads to vicious and degrading attitude towards women, and men who are lonely often use it for comfort -- we'd all be better off without the nasty stuff and just do things the natural way. Sex SHOULD be social and should draw us -- men and women -- together. That's what it's for.
7. Again, I would repeat what was said earlier: Don't believe what you read. And, if you suffer from social anxiety caused by negative thinking: DON'T EVEN BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE!
8. The value for a SA man in finding a girlfriend and becoming vulnerable with her is probably about the only good advice the OP gives.
Maybe the author of this post is biased because of a bad experience, or is just warped, or is a troll, either way her overall argument definitely doesn't float. I feel for her, but, I'm not taking the message of the posting seriously.
Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 8 Location: United States of America
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 1:59 am Post subject:
"Many men are shy around women. When a guy gets REALLY shy around women, he learns to fear (hate) them. Men like this still have active sex drives, and they often end up looking at pornography as a substitute for normal sexual relations with women"
Yes, I'm sure only men with social anxiety make up for the multi-billions of dollars spent on porn annually. 80% of men view porn, not just men with SA. MARRIED men look at porn lol
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. Wow! What a freakin' scary post. What the hell happened to you in your life that you would believe this crap and feel the desire to post it here??
