I'm sorry. We all have problems, especially me. Too often we make our problems someone else's problem, as I've done here. Women don't seem to understand what it feels like to be hated and viewed with suspicion solely because a person was born a man. It is truly brutalizing. And, unfortunately, brutalized people brutalize each other -- as we see throughout our degenerate cultures.
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 581 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:10 am Post subject:
wistful_dementia wrote:
yes, I agree w/ you horatio, I think we all including worry have come to that agreement. Maybe not the original poster, but maybe she never intended on being fair. Being strong requires a person man or woman to be fair... other wise we would just be taking the easy way out. I'm not assuming that she isn't strong already, but it took courage for Worry to come on here and risk a bunch of defensive men scream at her and it also took courage for her to admit that she doesn't agree with the original poster. Anyways, I understand your defensiveness but there is no need in kicking around a point that has already been made. Let's get over it already! We all should be more fair.
yeah I think worry had guts to say what she did, and she has a right to say it too. Im probably just a little sensitive on the issue at the moment because of the original post. Yeah I know its bad to let some cyber terrorist suppress you with their emotional regime but its unfortunate that my depression latches onto anything negative and its a big effort for me to shake it off. For the next few months Im going to have to repeatedly tell myself that people really dont think Im a sexual predator and thats gonna be a lot of effort. Yeah I know its stupid, but its just part of my illness.
So worrydoll, Im sorry if my posts seem very defensive. They WERE very defensive but directed at the original poster and not you.
Word to the wise. If you're afraid of women, there's a tried and true method of getting over the fear -- visiting a prostitute. In the thread "ARE U TIRED OF BEING A VIRGIN DUE TO UR SOCIAL PHOBIA," one fellow reports: "I waited till i was 20, but visiting a prostitute took away years of paranoia." There's nothing quite like visiting a prostitute to crawl out from under your mother's skirt.
I personally have never visited a prostitute, but I used to be anxious around women and now I am totally smoove. How? I did some intense therapy -- visiting strip clubs. Luckily for me, I live in a major southern US city well known as having more strip clubs than Vegas. It put a major dent in my wallet (they'll want to bankrupt you), but so would drugs and head shrinkers. The dif being, I recovered with the strippers.
Strippers are used to playing therapist. I'm totally up front with them about why I am there -- I tell them "I grew up in a very reserved family, and I didn't have enough experiences with women, to the point that I became very uptight and anxious with them. Now I want to look at your boobies" The strippers tell me: "Yawn, half the guys in here are guys who finally decided to get over their gynephobia. What do you want me to tell you about social interactions? Wanna lap dance?"
The first time you go to a strip club, you will take dances from any girl that sits on your lap no matter how she looks. By the third time, you will walk right up to the most gorgeous stripper with long legs, and big fake breasts and start talking. Now, I don't even pay for lap dances, they give them to me for free. I talk my way into their panties. I have nothing but love for the strippers.
Talk to the managers, talk to the bouncers, talk to the bar tenders, talk to the customers -- it will give you a different perspective on life and a newfound appreciation for your masculinity. The men who work there are about the most uninhibited guys around women that you'll ever meet. There's a reason for that.
Also, do your homework before you go -- read "G-strings and Sympathy" describing the industry and, in particular, the men who go to strip clubs. They say they go "to relax" i.e. to perform cognitive behavioral therapy on themselves. It's no coincidence that the industry sprung up during the '80's concurrently with the development of modern sexual harassment law which set up barriers of hostility and ill feeling between men and women everywhere else.
Now, I no longer go to strip clubs, but I still carry with me the lessons I learned there. I still walk up to gorgeous ladies -- at church, at the mall, at work -- and look at them and talk to them like I would a stripper. There really is nothing to fear.
I owe everything to you, Aphrodite, Bambi, Chocolate, Desire, Eden, Fabulous, Gypsy, Heaven, Isis, Jezebel, Kitten, Luscious, Mocha, Nasty, Opal, Panther, Queen, Raven, Spice, Temptation, Unique, Vixen, Willow, Xena, Yasmin, and ESPECIALLY Zoe!
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 581 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 9:25 am Post subject:
guest... as much as I would like to overcome my anxiety round women I dont think I would want to go to such extremes. Yes I am constantly rejected but call me old fashioned, I still think that women should be treated with respect
At this point can i remind you all to make no judgement on either gender if you dont actually know the people. Its only once we know someone that we can have an opinion about then, unless you want to be shallow and judge them on the way they look only. So far I kinda like everyone here, male or female, young and old. That would probably change in real life, if i knew you all personally and I'm sure we would be liked and disliked equally. I'm in a loving mood. I feel I must sing now....
guest... as much as I would like to overcome my anxiety round women I dont think I would want to go to such extremes. Yes I am constantly rejected but call me old fashioned, I still think that women should be treated with respect
I'm glad that's working out so well for you.
I hadn't felt genuine human compassion and authentic femininity as strongly as I did before I met a certain stripper. She cried when I told her about my anxieties and where it came from. She taught me how to be a man and a human, and she could teach the women on this thread a fair bit about what it means to be a woman. I will NEVER apologize or be embarrassed about visiting her on a regular basis. Of course, I would have loved to date her, but as such a confident, self-assured, sexually comfortable, feminine woman, she needed a type of mate that I couldn't be. Now I am dating other women and expressing my respect for them instead of avoiding them, and I am SOOO glad I jump started my recovery.
There's a reason these places exist. Recovery is all about jumping out from your shadow. If you're unwilling to do this, expect to be afflicted for the rest of your life.
What else did I do? I changed my name, I left my country. Radical problems require radical solutions. But, hey, it's your life -- don't forget, you only have one.
Also, remember that other people really don't give a damn about you or how you live your life. So do what you want, be proud of what you do, and never make excuses, never make apologies. It's YOUR life -- don't let other people enslave you and hold your puppet strings. (Nobody even wants to hold your puppet strings, but you keep f*****g handing them to people. Stop it now.)
Also, remember Rule Number One about being a man: Do not, under any circumstances, ever, for any reason, no matter what (am I making this clear?) let women tell you how to be a man. Learn from men: wise men, successful men, but men. Do you know what I found out when I asked men (successful men, men with wives, children, jobs) what they did? They said they look at tits, they've been to strip clubs tens of times. Try to be a normal man, because your attempt to be a superman has failed miserably.
Strange, I am a guy and I don't feel the need to be like you. I've been with women in the past without having to act out agressively or chauvinistically. These women here make good points, but we have already made it clear that everyone needs to be respectful of their natural differences while correcting certain mistakes created by society like it is a man's god given right to be sexist. Sure fart, drink your beer, and scratch your ass if you want , I am sure you will find some woman that will accept you. But I think people need to be thoughtful,less selfish , and respectful. Especially when it comes to other people's bodies. You don't need anyone like smokey preaching to you how to be.
"I think people need to be thoughtful,less selfish , and respectful. Especially when it comes to other people's bodies."
The problem is, for men with social anxiety, so much of what they perceive to be thoughtful and respectful is not genuine compassion, born of love and concern, but is inhibition and self-consciousness born of pride and insecurity. They want to be perceived as loving, but it is not real. Do you think the men who get all shy and anxious around women, and then come in here and say "women are cruel and reject me" are really acting polite around women because they LOVE women, or is it rather because they are phobic of women and are afraid of being judged negatively?
Strip away the pride and ass-covering and maybe you will finally unearth a kernel of love to live out.
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