Here's a great song for Social Phobes: "Can't Keep it In" by Cat Stevens:
Oh I can't keep it in can't keep it in
I've gotta let it out.
I've got to show the world, world's got to see.
See all the love, love that's in me - I said
Why walk alone. Why worry when it's warm over here.
You got so much to say, say what you mean.
Mean what you're thinkin', and think anything.
Oh why, why must you waste you're life away.
YOu've got to live for today, then let it go - oh
Lover, I want to spend this time with you.
There's nothing I wouldn't do, if you let me know.
And I can't keep it in, I can't hide it and
I can't lock it away.
I'm up for your love, love heats my blood
Blood spins my head, and my head falls in love.
No I can't keep it in, I can't keep it in
I've gotta let it out
I've got to show the world, world's got to know,know of the love, love that lies low, so why can't you say, if you know then why can't you say
You've got too much deceit, and deceit kills the light.
Light,needs has to shine, I said shine light, shine light. Love, that no way to live you life.
You allow too much to go by, and that won't do - no
Lover, I want to have you here by my side Now don't you run don't you hide while I'm with you N I can't keep it in,Ican't keep it in I gotta let it out I've gotta show the world, worlds's got to see see all the love, love thats in me I said why walk alone Why worry when it's warm over here You got so much to say, say what you mean Mean what you're thinkin' and thing anything, why not? Now why why why not?
first of all NOT ALL SA MEN are saying that get a clue genius. 2ndly, alot of cruel women are as ignorant as cruel simple minded men like yourself... go preach your propaganda somewheres else... If everyone thought more wisely instead of saying...'gee, it's too hard for me to be conscientious why should I even bother... it make me feel inadequate when I try'. ... give me a break weakling... we have this brain in order to help us survive in a cope and adapt...sorry if you are to lazy and insecure to use it. While not always sometimes thinking reasonably and correctly means that we have to go against the status quo in order to make the world a better place. We humans are complex, while there is no doubt we are born physically and mentally different, society also influences the degrees to which view ourselves as a man or woman based off of stereotypes. We can sometimes buck the illusions in order to make society better for both male and female.
Now, I like women as much as the next man and like most men I am a visual and physical creature... but to say I have to go see a prostitue in order to understand or be comfortable around women doesn't make any sense. Both women and men have to change their narrow viewpoints about human sexuality and try to see things from the other person's perspective.
Also, there are many 'pro-female agenda' women who don't hate men... you just don't know where to look. Alot of women as well as men have to change their thinking.
Insecurity/social anxiety is a simulacrum of respect and, to use your word "conscientiousness." It looks a lot like it from the outside, but after a while, people will figure out that it is just a sham. It is selfishness, pride, and self-obsession. This is NOT who I want to be, and it's not characteristic of anybody I care to associate myself with.
Visiting a prostitute is valuable if you learn to become vulnerable with a woman and strip away the mask that you were so desperate to protect that caused your insecurity. It is possible to treat a prostitute with tenderness and respect. It is also possible to heap abuse on her as I imagine a lot of socially anxious men are likely to do. It's just a suggestion -- I am not telling anybody to do it, I haven't. BUT, again, it is a tried and true method of boys losing their inhibitions with women.
You call be a "genius" (sarcastically), "ignorant," "cruel," "simple minded," "weakling," "lazy," "insecure." These abusive words are not surprising to hear coming from a person suffering from misanthropy (also known as social anxiety). But, you know what? I can take it -- because coming from you, they are a compliment. But more importantly, I can take it because I am a MAN.[/b]
hahahha... misanthropy= social anxiety... you come up with all sorts of paranoid hypothesis based off of no factual info. + you jump to conclusions... what is wrong with you?
Oh here's to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He'll give you give you 666, and there was a little toolshed where he made us suffer, sad Satan.
social anxiety is a disorder. as far as selfish, pride etc... why do you feel the need to teach those you know nothing about? selfish- everyone is selfish.... alot of people fool themselves into believing that they aren't.. so we might as well say that there is nothing wrong with selfish motivations as long as it benifits or at least doesn't hurt someone else.
Joined: Apr 02, 2004 Posts: 17 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2004 10:08 am Post subject:
I've met alot of SA men at meets and stuff, I have a few as best mates, I've never felt threatened in any way ,they seem far more warm and caring than most men I've met and dont have an aggressive bone in thier body.
I think the poster is very mixed up here, a rapist may be socially withdrawn but that dosnt make all SA men rapists no more than it makes all normal guys rapists.
I think the poster should put thier brain in gear before they open thier mouth, or maybe they are one of those lesbian man haters?
strippers are you saying that the sp men who are nice and respectful to me are faking it? tell me about that..its an interesting theory..
Worrydoll,
Ok, now we're talking about MOTIVATIONS for BEHAVIOR. Everyone knows that socially anxious people are anxious because they fear being embarrassed and judged negatively. This motivation is extremely self-referential. It is all about pride and ass-saving. I want to protect some kind of image that I am trying to project to you. I want to control your thoughts and especially control how you perceive me. These motivations are all about SELF.
There are other reasons to do things -- love, compassion, and sympathy. I disagree with the poster who said these things don't exist. I have experienced them in others and in myself.
So, two people could do the very same thing but have different motivations for doing them. A man could be nice and respectful because he loves you and wants to express his love to you, or he could be nice and respectful because he wants to project a certain image about himself and does not want to be judged negatively. The two men are doing the same thing, but the first does it because of love, and the second does it because of fear. Two wholly different motivations. The first man is mature, honorable, decent, and dependable. The second man needs to grow up and become humble and less self-obsessed. From the outside, they look the same, until you get to know them.
This is why it's very hard to judge by appearances. A man could stare at a woman's body because (a) he hates women, (b) he loves women, (c) he is afraid of women, or (c) any other of a million different motivations. A man could refrain from looking at a woman's body because (a) he hates women, (b) he loves women, (c) he is afraid of women, or (c) any other of a million different motivations.
Become a person motivated by other-centered love and not self-centered image projection. It will not necessarily make you engage in one particular behavior as opposed to others, but in the long run, other people will notice and you will be of some use to some other person but yourself. This is what it means to become an adult and claim your humanity.
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