Can I ask how old you guys are? I know people mature at different levels and stuff and it won't change my opinion...just asking out of curiosity.
I re-read the entire thread. Seems there are a lot of possible reasons to explain this girls behavior but I just don't know. She could be acting hot and cold as a sort of defense mechanism, scared to take it to the next level, or I hate to say this but she could just be stringing you along to see if someone else she likes better will come along. It's really hard to say..lots of times women don't know what they really want and it's constantly changing.
Have you ever thought about acting uninterested? I know playing games sucks but you know that saying don't know what you got til it's gone..plus it turns some women on. I agree with the poster who said don't overcompliment her. Or you might just wanna come out and ask her her true feelings. I know it's hard with anxiety and fear of rejection but it's just gonna nag at you. If she only wanted to remain friends, could you handle just being friends?
I'm sorry I'm not all that good with advice..I just imagine you're very frustrated, think you should take action...just do what feels right in your heart.
She's 17 and I'm 18.
I know she's probably had a lot of relationships with guys and girls so would it make sense she's still shy? I've always been shy around girls I've liked and have never grown out of it.
She messaged me earlier wondering if I wanted to go bowling with her. I told her I couldn't (I really couldn't). Then she asked if we could hang out later and I told her I wasn't sure when my brother is going to be done in the tournament he's in. So I may be able to see her latery today I just don't know when.
But she wants to see me all the time but at the same time Morgan is always there. I know if I could have gone bowling Morgan would be there. It isn't that I don't like Morgan he's a nice guy but why does he always have to be there?
She'll be able to drive with friends in the car in april and Morgan does drive her around everywhere now. Maybe it will change then.
I did ask her if she liked me more than a friend and she said she thought it was obvious she did...She doesn't act towards me as anything but a friend tho and I'm too scared to. I couldn't handle rejection...I don't want to ask her why she doesn't show anything when we're together because it seems so strange I wouldn't either.
No I don't think so. The one time I've ever been in love she just wanted to be friends. I did because I really cared about her and still do. It hurt me every day and hurt even more when she talked about other guys...I just can't handle that again. I only have a huge crush at this point and I don't want to fall in love again just to get hurt.
I'm more frustrated with myself than anything...I never know what feels right since everything has fear muddying my desire
And she just messaged me wondering if I was still busy.
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
Or, you could look her in the eye and bluntly ask: "What would you do if I kissed you right now?". If she gets mad, tell her you were kidding; if she looks at you in awe and embarassment, go for it or ask again: "So, how would you react?", but keep focused on her reactions and body language. Earlier than you know it, you'll be hand-in-hand with her more often and sharing a few kisses here and there. Just don't push it or go bragging about it to others. Keep it secret and personal.
That sounds pretty good actually. If I had the guts to do it....
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
Joined: Feb 18, 2007 Posts: 58 Location: England, Warks
Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 1:30 am Post subject:
Thelema wrote:
Sacrament wrote:
Or, you could look her in the eye and bluntly ask: "What would you do if I kissed you right now?". If she gets mad, tell her you were kidding; if she looks at you in awe and embarassment, go for it or ask again: "So, how would you react?", but keep focused on her reactions and body language. Earlier than you know it, you'll be hand-in-hand with her more often and sharing a few kisses here and there. Just don't push it or go bragging about it to others. Keep it secret and personal.
That sounds pretty good actually. If I had the guts to do it....
That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't be able to. Hopefully one day she might take the plunge herself.
^is she like this when you are face to face?
You know she may just be shy, just like you. I know that whenever someone compliments me, I just laugh at them, and I deny it, or try to change the topic.
It does seem however that she is a bit more confident than you. You can show her that you like her by trying to go out with her on her own. Take the initiative. If you leave it to her, you will end up being with Morgan as well. She may be shy about inviting you somewhere where it will be just you and her, and Morgan is her safety net, there will be no awkward silences, etc.
When you are together alone, do real small things, brush past her when you are walking together, touch her hand when you try to get her attention, make small compliments, don't bombard her, as she may be embarrased if you tell her she is beautiful, even though you may think it. Don't take your eyes off her, let her know from your gestures that you are paying attention to her.
I know that you both like GWAR, but try not to talk about it too much, use it as a safety net if there is an awkward silence. Also, I have been thinking recently, what is wrong with silence? I have been trying recently to just allow the silences to happen. When you are with your mum, for example, in the car say, sometimes you won't have the radio, and you won't even be talking. It isn't awkward then is it? If the awkward silence is unbearable, just laugh at it. "I have nothing to say." sort of fill in. You never know, that might start a new conversation.
I'm not sure where all this advice is coming from, lol, but I just know that that is how I would like to be treated if I was her. I have had no experience with anything like this, so sorry if my advice is total crap, but hey.
Not really and thats why I think she's shy and still not comfortable around me. I don't take compliments well either.
We're going out to see Blades Of Glory on friday with Tyson and his girlfriend. I still have to call him and figure out everything...I'm dreading that so much...So it will be me and her and Tyson and his girlfriend. I'm doing something by then...a hug or what I don't know but something.
When we were watching Premonition there was just a boring scene of the girl walking down the stairs but hollyann has a foot phobia. So I said "oooo toes...scary" and she hit me and called me an ass. She didn't say it in a mad way...atleast thats what I think. Then when the movie was over and I was stretching my arms she poked me with her finger. I think nudging her or something in a playful way is a good idea.
Thats another good idea. I've learned Ozzfest is free this year and its coming to Seattle. I was thinking we could get some people together and go.
She actually did say she had nothing to say once. I've found silence doesn't bother me but the fact that it bothers other people is what bothers me.
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
So I told Hollyann I couldn't see her today after all and asked if I could see her tomorrow....She said thats fine but that she really wanted to see me today....now I feel like crap for not seeing her
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
She sent a message back saying if I felt bad about it I could make it up to her somehow tomorrow! Thats my chance! I made plans to go bowling with her tomorrow.
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
Well today we hung out. No Morgan. We went bowling and had a good time. She beat me Then we went back to her grandparents place. Lots of talking about lots of stuff too much to say. Seems that she has had a crush on me for a really long time but was too shy to say anything to me. And somehow she got the idea in her head that I some how feel superior to her and wouldn't like her or something...not sure how she got that idea. One of her best friends came over and she got some coffee. When we were there her friend asked why we weren't dating yet. Thats 2 friends and a brother.
I learned when I jokingly asked her to marry me she told her mom and her mom said something like "next saturday...you're skipping dating and going right to marriage?" Then I totally was like you said yes....and she was like I said sure and I was like that means yes and her friend agreed with me.
She also talked about how this guy was coming on to her and she wanted me to be there so he wouldn't or something.
I think if it comes up again I should ask her why we aren't dating. I don't have the answer.
I didn't really try anything but there was something kinda funny. We were driving back from bowling and there was this comic book shop. I nudged her and said Hey Hollyann a comic book shop. Since she's a total nerd I knew she would have gone in there. She was like yeah I've been there. I said Yeah I knew that I know you so well. She said yeah theres a fat guy that works there and I said Oh I thought he would be really muscular. She thought that was pretty funny....what a nerd
She also brought up to her friend how she told Morgan nothing would ever happen between them. I feel better after hearing that.
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
I know she's probably had a lot of relationships with guys and girls so would it make sense she's still shy? I've always been shy around girls I've liked and have never grown out of it.
She messaged me earlier wondering if I wanted to go bowling with her. I told her I couldn't (I really couldn't). Then she asked if we could hang out later and I told her I wasn't sure when my brother is going to be done in the tournament he's in. So I may be able to see her latery today I just don't know when.
But she wants to see me all the time but at the same time Morgan is always there. I know if I could have gone bowling Morgan would be there. It isn't that I don't like Morgan he's a nice guy but why does he always have to be there?
She'll be able to drive with friends in the car in april and Morgan does drive her around everywhere now. Maybe it will change then.
I did ask her if she liked me more than a friend and she said she thought it was obvious she did...She doesn't act towards me as anything but a friend tho and I'm too scared to. I couldn't handle rejection...I don't want to ask her why she doesn't show anything when we're together because it seems so strange I wouldn't either.
No I don't think so. The one time I've ever been in love she just wanted to be friends. I did because I really cared about her and still do. It hurt me every day and hurt even more when she talked about other guys...I just can't handle that again. I only have a huge crush at this point and I don't want to fall in love again just to get hurt.
I'm more frustrated with myself than anything...I never know what feels right since everything has fear muddying my desire
And she just messaged me wondering if I was still busy.
To me it makes sense that she can be shy.
You don't have a car, do you?
I know I said I wouldn't say anything pertaining to age but after reading this last post I get a sense she could be hanging around this guy for his car. It can be a big deal for people that age. Whatever the case, he may be her friend but she is using this guy, he's like a shield or something..I don't understand why she won't hang out with you alone. I see you'd feel bad about acting like you're not as interested. The other, romantic side of me says to just do something to sweep her off her feet but that's a big risk. I do have some suggestions...pm me if interested. I also like Sacrament's idea. I know you said you're frustrated with yourself but this girl is really sending confusing signals and your head must be spinning.
You say today's your big chance...what are you gonna do? Tell her or show her, a little of both? I hope it goes well and continue keeping us posted!
Like me she acts different over the internet and messaging.
She did keep saying that she needs a car and that she can't wait until she can drive with other people. She loves driving
She's everything I've wanted for so long and I don't have the nerve to get what I want... :The title of this thread is lonely want a girlfriend.
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
I was just thinking about the kiss thing....I can't sleep....I don't think I'm seeing something that isn't there and that its obvious she likes me. I don't think I would be rejected with the whole what if I kissed you thing. If she acts weird I'll just make her feel as awkward as me and ask why she's playing with my feelings.
_________________
Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything
be thou therefore without fear for in the heart of the coward virtue abideth not.
Joined: Feb 18, 2007 Posts: 58 Location: England, Warks
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:11 pm Post subject:
^Another suggestion. If you are worried about her feeling awkward, and yourself too, try invading her personal space, see if she is ok with that. Hug her when you leave, things like that.
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I've found silence doesn't bother me but the fact that it bothers other people is what bothers me.