I don't get her

Kinetik · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 2:25 am Post subject:

I think you're putting yourself down too much, both to us and in front of her. Honestly, no matter how cool and sweet you might be, a girl is turned off by a man who has no confidence in himself and his ability to attract women. I've noticed this myself numerous times, and I've had to really change the way I interact with girls I'm interested in. Not to say what I tell them is all a lie, but it's definitely a different kind of attitude than I'd normally adopt. All it takes is (faked) confidence, catching any kind of self-depracation before it happens, and a healthy dose of distance (100 text messages will kill that every time). After a while you'll learn to pull it off and strike a good balance that will leave her wondering about you and wanting more. I know it's unorthodox, but since I learned about having social phobia I've been forced to bend the rules somewhat. You can always relax and be less on your guard once you've established the relationship. But this should be a gradual thing, otherwise you'll scare her off again. If you're not hard to get a hold of, it's no challenge to her, and you become just another guy. If you throw in some difficulty and some tension at the right parts, things will slot into place a lot more readily. I know it makes no sense, and it's not strictly being yourself throughout, but if life deals you some bad cards you have to learn to deal. Besides, nobody's truly themselves in the dating game.

_oba_ · Newbie User Joined: Oct 16, 2005 Posts: 17

I think you are right, Kinetik. I didn't have any confidence in myself. From now on I will try to act more confident. Smile

But I don't want to go after her anymore. She doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore. Could you guys give me any tips on forgetting her, getting her out of my brain?

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