I just wish I were dead

Foxglove · Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:50 pm Post subject: I just wish I were dead

I know that writing this is just stupid and childish and unproductive, but I have nowhere or nobody else to say this to. I just can't take it any more. My whole life is made up of fear, guilt, anxiety and tedium. I am constantly making awful decisions which make my life worse than it already is. Therapy, medication? Been there, done that. I just feel so awful and helpless. Nobody takes me seriously, they all think that just because I'm a housewife and I "don't have to work" that my life is all fun and games and happiness. I just wish I were dead. Every day I wish this. I hate myself, I hate my life, and I can't stand the thought of spending the next 40 years like this. Sorry for all the whining and bellyaching.

Aeon · Newbie User Joined: May 11, 2007 Posts: 10

You shouldn't be sorry, I feel just the same way.

Tryin · Advanced User Joined: Sep 04, 2006 Posts: 413

Elulla · Newbie User Joined: Feb 07, 2007 Posts: 18 Location: UK

In no way is it childish and its definatly not unproductive, belive me i can understand how it feels, i am a housewife to (well i was) and again my life has just seemed to turn to ..well crap basically and everyone thinks that because i've done it before i can do it again and i'm fine all is well with the world.

i too have made some really bad life decisions i've been thro therapy and medication and it all gets to much some times, BUT one of the best things you can do is what you've just done share it with people who won't judge you, that can understand and won't give you any of the bull that life is fine!! cause it's not.

i joined this site and then everything seemed to be going ok, and now suddenly its all gone to pot again, but i like to come here and do my bellyaching and whining, cause everyone here doesn't see it like that, and theres is no need to say sorry for that!!

and besides its good to whine sometimes !!!

Horatio · Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:42 am Post subject:

Believe it or not your actually very close to breaking through. No longer wish you were dead but start to live like your dead.

If you believe you are dead then nothing phases you. You can stare right back at people if they look at you, no stray comments will hurt you. In a way you become bullet proof. Who can kill those that are already dead?

recluse · Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 1:13 pm Post subject:

You are just venting and that's what these sites are about; being able to talk about the way you are feeling.

peaches22 · Newbie User Joined: Aug 26, 2007 Posts: 2

I know how you feel.. past two years I dealt with things as in abuse and illness and death, and I was really close to killing myself twice. Each time I was minutes away from taking my own life, I would picture my nieces and nephews.. and it kinda opened my eyes. Because no matter how lost you feel, and worthless and empty, theres always one thing, big or small. thats worth living for. No it doesn't make everything all better. Just gives you a little hope. I am sorry for babbling on, its just I have all the respect in the world for anyone going around living with depression or anxiety.. or ocd. or any other thing. I am also not saying I am better. That would be so nice, lol but its not true, I later went on to several therapist.. and eventually seeking rehabilitation for depression, by choice. I was in there for close to three months.. I still suffer from depression, I don't think you can get rid of it 100%.. I think its just the matter of learning to live your everyday life with it, and not allowing it to control you. but anyways, I could tell you everything will be ok, but as we all know.. other ppl telling us that, means nothing to us.. but I will wish you happiness along with everyone else on here.. take care Very Happy

emmdee · Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:34 am Post subject:

Don't be sorry...we all feel like this sometimes. You won't believe the amount of times i've felt like cutting myself so hard i would die.

But the key is to think of the happy things in life...or even a happy moment...your husband, for example. No life has only bad in it. Just try it...allow that happiness to override the depression.

There's as much love as there is hate in the world. It is what the person chooses to focus on that shows their true identity. And it is their true identity that chooses how the life will unfold.

yoshi_kl · Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:16 pm Post subject:

I feel exactly the same

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recluse · Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:57 pm Post subject:

Put it this way if i didn't have my parents, grandmother, sister and our two cats i would *****, after all who would miss me? Suicide may be an end to your problems but think how it would affect your loved ones