I actually just started up a topic and im almost in the exact situation as you. Except i did not do anything really, i just watched a distressing video and now its in my head all the time. I remember the video but i dont actually imagine the video playing in my head. (if you understand) anyway i havent told any1 yet as well because it has not affected any aspect of my life dramatically.
All i feel is worry, that it is something bad and not normal. And that i may have a serious health problem.
Joined: Feb 02, 2008 Posts: 22 Location: Harrisburg, Pa
Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:04 am Post subject:
paulmm wrote:
the difference between people with OCD and people w/o OCD is that people w/o OCD do disgusting things and then realize what they did, feel guilty for a little while, then feel afraid others will find out. After days or maybe a week of feeling scared/guilty, they move on with their lives. If they really hurt somebody else, they feel guilty when they are reminded.
People with OCD do something disgusting and have the same response for about a month or year. THen the memory returns and the person with OCD thinks they are a monster. THey associate the disgusting act with every part of their life and feel like they dont belong in the civilized world. The reality is that we only live once, and if your going to spoil your entire life on one mistake, thats too bad. there are people in the world that are serial killers and rapists and they continue to live comfortably with themselves. assuming you didnt rape or kill anyone, you shouldnt feel guilty anymore. If you did rape or kill someone, i hope you learned your lesson from your guilt and never repeat this mistake because it is damaging to other peoples' lives.
I highly doubt that you did anything more disgusting than a large majority of people. I used to obsess about things ive done or thought about in the past, and it ruined my life for a while. Now I've learned to move on because its not worth ruining my life for.
Feeling guilty about something means you are a good person.
People with OCD also believe that they should be punished for everything they do wrong (since every action needs an equal opposite reaction to keep the world in perfect order - typical OCD thinking), but the reality is that the equal and opposite reaction is your learning that what you did was wrong, and maybe you can teach your children to avoid the same mistake so they dont worry about it for years like you have. We are all humans. Look at the sexual and aggressive behaviors of animals - if humans behaved that way, wed all be in jail.
_abcde wrote:
Thanks for the responses...
I actually just got into a serious relationship in the past 6 months, and shortly after, the incident started coming into my head again. Eventually, it became a seemingly constant thing. I don't know if it's guilt or if it's just the fact that it's the most disgusting thing I've ever done. Could it be OCD? I can't tell her. I just can't. I love her and she loves me and she pretty much knows everything about me and I know everything about her. She is my first love and I am hers. But this is one thing I can't tell her...at least right now...maybe in a few years, but I just don't feel like now is a good time. It's almost like I've associated conscious thought in general with the incident...you know when your brain gets in that mode where you KNOW what you're thinking about? It's like, when I'm in that mode, the thought is there. Even if I'm not visually thinking the incident out (which I'm usually not). It's just some automatic thing...that when I know what I'm thinking about, the idea of the incident is there. Geezzz this doesn't make freaking sense but I don't know a way to explain it. I figured it would eventually let go, but it hasn't.
" If you did rape or kill someone, i hope you learned your lesson from your guilt and never repeat this mistake because it is damaging to other peoples' lives."
uhhhhh does anyone else think that statement was completely screwed up. Oh, if you kill someone or rape them, dont repeat it, its damaging to other people's lives. uhh, understatement much?
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