Read the post... Do u think this would work for you?
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IknowIhaveSP Newbie User
Joined: Dec 28, 2007 Posts: 49
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 5:42 pm Post subject:
I totally agree with you!! Have just posted a similar thread today. There is no cure and we will not change unfortunately. But the problem is being bothered or labeled by others with our distant personality. what can I do? I'm 28 yrs old and same for 28 yrs. I didnt change and I know I cant change. Even if I change any little thing is enough to ruin my world and push me back to my social phobia.
My sister used to LOVE partying when she was younger and couldn't understand why I hated it, she used to think I was just being miserable back then. But now she's older with two teenage kids and although she still goes out occasionally she says it doesn't have the same interest for her. It's not to do with her having social phobia - she doesn't -it's more to do with her growing out of partying, and she says it's more enjoyable if you only go out sometimes.
I go out a bit now - I'm still socially anxious but I have a lot more confidence than I did when I was a teenager - and whiile I still HATE clubs and crowded pubs or going out with a huge crowd of people, I don't mind going for a pub lunch with a small group of friends.
And nowadays my sister has a really lovely view of my dislike of partying, she just says, "Oh, well, not everybody likes the same things."
If only everyone could grow up and think like that there'd be a lot less pressure on the socially anxious!
But the problem is being bothered or labeled by others with our distant personality.
That's where acceptance comes in. Fuck what those people think, they don't know the world we live in. Their opinions have no value to us, they just bring us down, so why give them the time of day? Accepting SA is more than just going on with your life and making changes to accomodate it. It is removing all of these thoughts that we have about SA being a burden, and living the life that your brain tells you to. Why have a psychiatrist tell you whats "normal?" What is normal? Why are they trying to make everybody alike? Who knows, but if everyone would have just accepted people with our condition for who they are and what positive attributes they bring to the table in the first place, then none of us would be here. I guess its just human nature to cast out "different" people...We've got a nature of our own, so embrace it and live happy, because its the only life you're going to get.
I agree. In this society it seems to be a crime not to be a social butterfly, not to go around tootling your own horn, to feel at ease being alone. That's always the first thing they say about criminals like serial killers or people who run amok - "he was a loner and kept to himself". Like that in itself is suspect and perverted. That makes me want to vomit.
That's where acceptance comes in. Fuck what those people think, they don't know the world we live in. Their opinions have no value to us, they just bring us down, so why give them the time of day? Accepting SA is more than just going on with your life and making changes to accomodate it. It is removing all of these thoughts that we have about SA being a burden, and living the life that your brain tells you to.
But the key problem of SA sufferers is that we care too much about what other people think. If we didn't care, we wouldn't be anxious about socializing or dealing with people. So in that respect, if you could achieve the acceptance that you're talking about (i.e. truely not caring about what other people think), then really you've cured your SA.
Joined: Dec 07, 2006 Posts: 288 Location: 44/m/miami
Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:44 am Post subject:
SilentType wrote:
I have been through every medication, remedy, or therapy u can name and I just feel like I have to accept me for me, because embracing this is the only choice I have left, and its just as reasonable of a choice as anything else i've tried so far.
Have you tried acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)?
We can learn to accept that we'll have anxiety from time to time. But that doesn't mean we have to accept any limitations due to anxiety.
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