Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:00 am Post subject: Re: Girls
Tab wrote:
I usually hang out with my 2 cousins who are a year younger than me and they're always asking when I'm going to get a girl friend, why don't I have one yet, or saying you must be gay. I don't know how to answer them anymore
Not having a girlfriend does not mean you are gay. I've also heard some people say that no girlfriend means you are gay. That's actually an illogical and irrational statement. People may not have a girlfriend for a number of reasons e.g. shyness, unable to find a compatible girlfriend (I'm still looking), lack of opportunities. People who say this haven't thought this through. You can answer them by not saying anything and smiling. This puts them on the backfoot. _________________ 'Nothing is particularly difficult, if you divide it into small jobs' Henry Ford.
I'm a girl, but I somewhat know what you mean...Do you feel like you're not worthy of their attention? Like they deserve someone better?
Absolutely. I don't even bother looking for a partner as I know it will end badly. We all know what makes a good/bad boyfriend/girlfriend and if you don't come up to scratch, you're basiclly doomed.
Joined: Jul 23, 2006 Posts: 299 Location: -Gulf of Mexico-
Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:58 am Post subject:
Well Tab the question I have for you is are you really pushing them away or are you running away?
I have a long history of pushing the opposite sex and people in general away because usualy they are very agressive compare to our shy personality.
I also have a long history of running away from the opposite sex usualy when they are as shy as us because...well I have'nt figured that out yet. I guess it could be preformance anxiety? I dont know.
If you are pushing people away at least you are attracting them right? Maby someone else can add to this.
i feel that if you haven't met a person who makes you want to overcome your fears & take chances because your biggest fear becomes losing them, then you haven't found anyone worth 'being with' anyway. I'm a firm believer in that the people who are supposed to be in your life will find there way there eventually no matter what ... and what you dont have you don't need it now.
also if you immediately ignore them, make sure they don''t have anything to do with you, then they cannot be in your life at all. people are not going to want to try to be with you if you send signals that you dont want to be with them.
tampa:
pushing away I say because I used to attract many people so I have to push and make sure they know I am not available for dialog, relationship, etc.
""
cynic:
"I don't even bother looking for a partner as I know it will end badly. We all know what makes a good/bad boyfriend/girlfriend and if you don't come up to scratch, you're basiclly doomed."
totally agree with that ^
piper:
""I don't think you are truly cold on the inside. You just don't know how to react or what to say, and maybe you don't want to end up hurting them or being hurt yourself, so you clam up and appear to be cold. But I'm sure you're not! If you're hurting on the inside because you want a relationship then you are a feeling person with a heart. Smile If a girl shows interest again, watch her for a while interact with others and see if she is the type you would like to be with. Then you can take things further if that is your wish. If you think she likes you, but hasn't said it yet, try talking to her and see if she responds to your personality. Don't push them away (unless they are freaks haha)! Perhaps when you are ready you will have that special relationship.""
sorry, I meant my persona, what I present to other people in the real world = cold. yes clam up I do. and I can't ever try again, last time I tried I wound up drinking to forget, and that took a shit load of drinking, vodka that is.
never have had a girlfriend more than about a month, didn't want it to seem like we were actually going out. and my heart wasn't there. I can't open up that heart of mine it has been closed for too long.
sorry piper, thanks for the suggestions but its not possible it would most likely back fire and I'm too bitter etc.
no matter who I like, what the situation, it comes down to when I have to open up to people, I get serious danger signals and I have to respond to those signals accordingly.
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