Girls know I'm shy!

CK23 · Intermediate User Joined: Jul 21, 2008 Posts: 117

I totally agree with Delric... I am a shy person myself and i have met some nice women who are all older than me... They too took an interest in me as a friend and i found it nice that they did once they gave me some value i realized what a nice conversationalist i actually was.... i have just had the most brilliant conversations with them...

Argamemnon · Expert User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 716

I hate people who notice my shyness, thanks to them I feel like a lesser human being Twisted Evil

youareimportant · Newbie User Joined: Aug 03, 2008 Posts: 16

I think I can relate to that kind of struggle mentioned in the opening post. There are times when people think you are only nervous around girls because you simply haven't been around enough of them, or you are too inexperienced, etc. And another thing common is they think you are immature and as you said, "treat you like a kid."

The truth is, you and I have probably been around enough girls, but have always avoided contact with them because we are so unsure of ourselves. And it's not just girls often, but anyone new or for some reason intimidating. It's not immaturity, and it's not "being around enough girls." Don't you think that's not the problem? The problem is having a program in the brain that automatically tells you to be afraid for some reason (probably stemming from child experience [programming]).

Of course, social phobia is probbaly the most misunderstood and under-recognized mental issue in the world. It is so mysterious to those who can't relate, and those who have it don't usually dare tell anyone, for obvious reasons, I think.

I wish I was able to flip a switch and change everything, but since I can't I will simply join the rest of you (hopefully) and try as hard as I can to RE-train my way of thinking. Habitually change our thought flow. I think it can largely be done.

scissorhands · Newbie User Joined: Oct 05, 2007 Posts: 92

If you have SAD avoid those fuckers who talk about you or treat you like you're abnormal or different. Because ultimately you want to distance yourself from that shyness and that's the only identity they know you by so how can you possibly do that or be more yourself? You'd be turning into a whole new person in their eyes. Try to be around people who treat you like everyone else they talk to, who don't even acknowledge that you have an issue, and then you'll be far more able to come out.