Well done. NLP I found didn't work 4 me I would have to say the no. 1 most effective way for me without parallel was exposure therapy which is a behavioural therapy. Ironically its also the hardest method. if you're still in stockholm we should go for a workout sometime and do sum sets in a bar
Shield how did you know that it didn't work for you? Did you even try it?
You know people, I really think that this might be the answer that we're all looking for. I've heard of some people who used this method or I think CBT and actually worked, like this guy for example:
I totally agree in what Knuckleflash said about that we were not born with S.A.D. and it's our past/society that made us like this. I know that myself because I had a bitter past as well.
Knuckleflash which session is the best to get? I'm really willing to try this NLP and I think that it will help me.
In case you still check the forums, please reply...
Joined: Feb 03, 2008 Posts: 197 Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:49 am Post subject:
Honestly, guys, you should check out Neil Strauss' book "The Game".
The whole 'dating guru' scene isn't nearly as phoney/cheesy as it comes off. Depending on who you look at. And I think that it's way more pervasive than just being ways to get dates with female. It really has nothing to do with that at it's core.
David Deangelo, Ross Jeffries, Sean Stephenson, Mystery, and Neil Strauss of course... all these guys in my honest opinion offer some really valuable information on how to meet not just females but -people-, and get over your own fear and anxiety.
You do however have to take it all with a grain of salt, and use your imagination a bit, but it's still very useful.
NLP is an interesting thing and i'm actually just starting to do my homework on it. However, i'm not sure how it is in a therapeutical sense, compared to say CBT.
Joined: Aug 08, 2008 Posts: 131 Location: California
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:12 am Post subject:
Alright, I have bought many of David Deangelo's products a few years ago.
His e-book was awesome. His first DVD set was also great. After that, it was pure repackaged material from his ebook and first DVD.
Don't fall into David D's trap of making you keep buying his products, he's a really crafty guy, especially in making it seem like he's offering something new with his next product.
To cut it short, the best stuff from his ebook and DVD's were the re-framing of negative thoughts and events in your life.
For example, when you have those "I can't do it, it'll make nervous" thought, replace it with "what can I DO to MAKE it less nervous" or "what is it that I'm afraid of and HOW can I take of the problem, if there even is one".
So you replace "I can't do it" thoughts with "I can do it if I prepare myself properly" thoughts.
Same goes for negative events in life. Try to get as much value from your negative events in life. For example, if you got nervous in front of an audience, don't discredit the event as useless. Reframe it; tell yourself that it was an experience that made you stronger because you felt the worst and now you aren't afraid of it.
It makes you treat life like practicing an instrument or learning a new language. At first you'll probably suck, but that's expected; you'll get better as you maintain your practice.
I've also read from other dating "gurus" and the best advice came down to you being accepting of your weak points in life but to try and keep improving yourself at the same time; being yourself, and not taking shit from anyone, no one at all.
The minute you take shit from someone, it causes them to think they can do it again.
A lot of the info the dating gurus provide is actually common sense. Like it's been mentioned, working out, going out more often, is tedious but eventually will make you overcome a lot. It's been 2 years since I started doing all that and I'm still a work in progress, but it's progress nonetheless. There is nobody who will achieve everything they want in life. We all have problems of one sort or another.
dont talk bad about EFT. It is helpin me so much, Just today for the first time i could walk on a busy street in the city like its nothin, like i was doin it for years. EFT is magic if you do it right. I was doin it for 2 months the wrong way. Always just addressin my anxiety and anxiety. I was way to general. Now iam doin it right and addressing all those thoughts and pictures that come up before i go into a feared situation and then i just dont fear it anymore at all. its magic. Its only a matter of time before i will be healed. My family thinks iam takin some illegal drugs because i changed so much.
What iam most happy about is i can sit down in my bad and read a book or go to bed and sleep now without gettin those sensations in my head or tensions like iam gonna freak out. And my crazy starin eye problem is almost gone too
Iam not advertising EFT btw lol, iam just tryin to add what is helpin me. I threw away my chill pills about a month ago and its only EFT now. I was doin CBT for a year but was really really hard facin your fears, EFT is so much easier and less painfull.
I know EFT sounds like some mambo jumbo shit, i was always open to anything that could heal me from this social phobia but when i heard about EFT i was like "fuck no" I dont have time to play games lol, i started lookin at it seriously thou when wherever i went online i saw EFT being mentioned and supposedly workin fast and read about what the tapping is supposed to do. So yeah i understand all your skepticism. I was the same.
Joined: Jun 29, 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Omaha, NE
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:38 pm Post subject: Helping yourself
There are many resources out there. THe first step is searching by the particular subject that you have recognized, you will then find many sites and groups.
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