Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 41 Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:26 am Post subject:
ghost_train wrote:
Sad as I am to admit, I can kind of understand why girls are (generally) attracted to confident guys. I think it's two fold- one it's linked to all this alpha male bullshit, which, like it or not, reverberates through nature. I guess the paradigm has slightly shifted in our society- being an alpha male is about power and the ability to influence and lead other men. Therefore it's not necessarily, as it is generally in nature, to do with brute strength, but often a different manifestation of power- maybe money, maybe intelligence. I think it's usually assumed that any manifestation of power will go hand in hand with confidence: confidence suggests, plain and simple, that you have something of value about you- something to give.
Now I can't really say why a similar 'confidence' does not seem to be required in females- not as far as I'm concerned anyway- I'm generally turned off by very confident women (which is a shame because they seem to be the ones I attract).
In my case, I've simply never been interested in being a 'leader' of other men- my choice has always been either 'equal' or 'loner'. I feel uneasy whenever I have correct someone on something, and certainly do not revel in pointing out others' mistakes. All this must come across as that I lack confidence- and I do: but not within myself, just in the way I project myself.
Which great artist was ever an alpha male, though?
Much of the confidence that some men often project is fake, but unfortunately many shallow/stupid women fall for it.
In my books, true confidence is when, for example someone starts their own business, now that takes a lot of guts. Think about it, when someone starts their own business, they often have to borrow a large sum of money at considerable risk (eg. they may have offered their family home as security) to start a business. Or true confidence is someone like a doctor or commercial airline pilot, these people are responsible for the lives of many innocent people, and if they make a bad call/decision, people die, and in the case of airline pilots, hundreds of innocent people can die.
But going back to relationships, many women are often attracted to "bad boys", and "thugs" thinking that these men are "confident", when in reality these dysfunctional men suffer from low self esteem, but put on a "show" of "toughness" to impress women.
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 564 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 7:16 am Post subject:
You can say all this "Why should men.." blah blah blah, but it works both ways..
Why should women always have to wear nice clothes, and be pretty, and have good hair, and have big breasts, and a perfect figure, and be chatty, and kind, and confident?
I could go on forever. This works for both genders, so stop trying to make out like it's worse for you.
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
Any fool can stick his "you know what" in a woman, but it takes a real and decent man to be a good father.
Sebr3 wrote:
And do the"thugs" and "bad boys", that seem to get an endless supply of female affection/attention, are they more deserving of female affection than us unfortunate nice guys who get habitually ignored???? Who decides whether some guys deserve female affection, and who misses out??
It's a friggin shame that evolution and our primal instincts cannot separate "decent and real man" and "thugs and bad boys".
Who decides? Genes and nature. It all comes down to that.
If you were lucky enough to "grab" those good genes from the gene pool - you are prolly successful with opposite sex. If not, well ... then you're not I could go on and elaborate this further and further, but i think you get the picture
Some of us are just not meant to have someone
@coriander1992:
Men have it much worse, maybe better to say - men have it tougher, when it comes to dating and relationships. Not saying females have an easy ride, but they're better of then men
You people need to get out more. There is no "nice guys vs. bad boys" dichotomy. There is no "nice girls" vs. "stupid/shallow girls" dichotomy. You people are the shallow ones -- you act like the whole world holds to a handful of stereotype personalities. And of course your personality is the only one you think is "nice".
Everyone is unique. And there sure as hell ain't a human being who has ever lived whose personality could be summed up in one phrase. Your pat little worldview is degrading to everyone in it.
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 564 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject:
persian wrote:
@coriander1992:
Men have it much worse, maybe better to say - men have it tougher, when it comes to dating and relationships. Not saying females have an easy ride, but they're better of then men
I beg to differ.
Both have it easier in some ways and harder in others, it's all relative. I don't think you can say one has it tougher overall than the other...their viewpoints and situations are too different when it comes to "dating and relatonships".
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
Women have it easier in the sense that they could go to a cafe and simply wait for guys to approach them. I'm sure that women who go out often will eventually be approached by someone. Whether she will meet the right person is another story.
Women have it easier in the sense that they could go to a cafe and simply wait for guys to approach them. I'm sure that women who go out often will eventually be approached by someone. Whether she will meet the right person is another story.
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 564 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:09 pm Post subject:
Argamemnon wrote:
Women have it easier in the sense that they could go to a cafe and simply wait for guys to approach them. I'm sure that women who go out often will eventually be approached by someone. Whether she will meet the right person is another story.
Not neccesarily at all...what if you are an ugly woman, or just not particularly attractive to males?
My point is that there are difficulties for both genders, I don't beleive you can state that it is harder for one than the other.
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
Women have it easier in the sense that they could go to a cafe and simply wait for guys to approach them. I'm sure that women who go out often will eventually be approached by someone. Whether she will meet the right person is another story.
Not neccesarily at all...what if you are an ugly woman, or just not particularly attractive to males?
My point is that there are difficulties for both genders, I don't beleive you can state that it is harder for one than the other.
I think there is some confusion as to exactly what we're talking about: if we're talking about relationships in general, then I think you are right in your point that it cannot be catagorically stated as 'easier' for one sex or the other. But if we're talking simply about the approach, I think you must concede that it IS easier for women (on average). Such is the nature of our society, at least in the UK, that the onus is placed on the male when it comes to making the approach.
Though not true 100% of the time, I think it's a pretty fair generalisation to say that a man will not be directly 'approached' by a woman of equal attractiveness, whereas a woman will be. ('Equal attractiveness' is obviously a very ambiguous term)
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 564 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject:
ghost_train wrote:
coriander1992 wrote:
Argamemnon wrote:
Women have it easier in the sense that they could go to a cafe and simply wait for guys to approach them. I'm sure that women who go out often will eventually be approached by someone. Whether she will meet the right person is another story.
Not neccesarily at all...what if you are an ugly woman, or just not particularly attractive to males?
My point is that there are difficulties for both genders, I don't beleive you can state that it is harder for one than the other.
I think there is some confusion as to exactly what we're talking about: if we're talking about relationships in general, then I think you are right in your point that it cannot be catagorically stated as 'easier' for one sex or the other. But if we're talking simply about the approach, I think you must concede that it IS easier for women (on average). Such is the nature of our society, at least in the UK, that the onus is placed on the male when it comes to making the approach.
Though not true 100% of the time, I think it's a pretty fair generalisation to say that a man will not be directly 'approached' by a woman of equal attractiveness, whereas a woman will be. ('Equal attractiveness' is obviously a very ambiguous term)
No, you're wrong, I fully understand what you are talking about...I just don't agree!
I don't think there's any point me contributing to this little debate anymore anyway, so let this be my last post on this thread.
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
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I could go on and elaborate this further and further, but i think you get the picture 
