Women have it easier in the sense that they could go to a cafe and simply wait for guys to approach them. I'm sure that women who go out often will eventually be approached by someone. Whether she will meet the right person is another story.
Not neccesarily at all...what if you are an ugly woman, or just not particularly attractive to males?
My point is that there are difficulties for both genders, I don't beleive you can state that it is harder for one than the other.
I think there is some confusion as to exactly what we're talking about: if we're talking about relationships in general, then I think you are right in your point that it cannot be catagorically stated as 'easier' for one sex or the other. But if we're talking simply about the approach, I think you must concede that it IS easier for women (on average). Such is the nature of our society, at least in the UK, that the onus is placed on the male when it comes to making the approach.
Though not true 100% of the time, I think it's a pretty fair generalisation to say that a man will not be directly 'approached' by a woman of equal attractiveness, whereas a woman will be. ('Equal attractiveness' is obviously a very ambiguous term)
No, you're wrong, I fully understand what you are talking about...I just don't agree!
I don't think there's any point me contributing to this little debate anymore anyway, so let this be my last post on this thread.
Without wishing to be the obstinate asshole that I'm apparently so intent on portraying myself as, I am in fact completely correct in my assertion, (and no, I offer no supporting evidence. This is not an attempt to get a rise out of you. Regard this reply only as a manifestation of mild OCD)
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 547 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject:
Despite me saying this would be my last post on this thread....I think it is neccesary for me to add that I think we should agree to disagree on this matter
I don't wish to start an argument with you
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 41 Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 11:13 am Post subject:
bletch wrote:
You people need to get out more. There is no "nice guys vs. bad boys" dichotomy. There is no "nice girls" vs. "stupid/shallow girls" dichotomy. You people are the shallow ones -- you act like the whole world holds to a handful of stereotype personalities. And of course your personality is the only one you think is "nice".
Everyone is unique. And there sure as hell ain't a human being who has ever lived whose personality could be summed up in one phrase. Your pat little worldview is degrading to everyone in it.
p.s. coriander made a good point too.
Are you serious???
I am sorry but there is strong anecdotal evidence to suggest that there is a large percentage of women who prefer "bad boys" over us boring nice guys, and I can speak from personal experience. Also there are lots of shallow women who only care about looks and/or money, does the name Heather Mills ring any bells???
And please don't call us love-shy guys shallow, we are anything but shallow, and once again your insults and shaming language are not welcome. By all means express your point of view, but back them up with facts NOT bullshit personal opinions.
Us nice guys/love shy guys are fucking sick to death of being demonised and shamed just because we are not a bunch of bed hopping "players/casanovas".
With regards to dating, women have it RIDICULOUSLY easy. Women are not the ones who have to make the first move, and put their egos on the line like us guys do. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
Basically when it comes to dating, women don't do anything (apart from getting dressed up), it's us guys that have to do all the work and shoulder all the risks.
With regards to dating, women have it RIDICULOUSLY easy. Women are not the ones who have to make the first move, and put their egos on the line like us guys do. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
Basically when it comes to dating, women don't do anything (apart from getting dressed up), it's us guys that have to do all the work and shoulder all the risks.
uhm...kay, well im sorry that the only women you seem to have met seem to have fallen out of the stepford wives, i made the first move with my ex, i paid for our first date, and yeah the dressing up part is fun, but saying that you guys shoulder all the risks, women put more emotionally into a relatsionship form the get go so we have more to lose in the outcome.
anyways back to the original question/statement, i don't see why men have to be confident to be found attractive, i don't find confidence very attractive, as there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, and most "confident" guys like to waver on it!
_________________ "Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
Joined: Jan 07, 2007 Posts: 547 Location: Lincolnshire
Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 11:28 am Post subject:
Sebr3 wrote:
. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
.
See I was going to be good and stay away from this thread, until I read your pathetic little mis-guided bull crap of a comment.
What the hell do you mean women don't pay for anything?
Of course they do!?
Loads of women have jobs...they have to, just like you men.
What about single mothers? They don't have a man to "pay for everything" so how the heck do you think they survive?
For God's sake people, open your eyes will you
Some of you are so bitter about your own failures and shortcomings, and far too ignorant to admit it, that you just blame everything on everybody but yourselves to make you feel better.
"Oh my life is so hard, it's ok for them they have it easier"
That's one of the most pathetic posts i've ever read on this forum, and i've read a fair few.
_________________ Devon x
~ "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had" ~
Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 41 Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 11:55 am Post subject:
celestialrecluse wrote:
Sebr3 wrote:
With regards to dating, women have it RIDICULOUSLY easy. Women are not the ones who have to make the first move, and put their egos on the line like us guys do. Women don't have to pay for anything, as they expect us men to, and don't believe that feminist bullshit that proclaims financial independence from men, because it's always the man who has to pay for everything.
Basically when it comes to dating, women don't do anything (apart from getting dressed up), it's us guys that have to do all the work and shoulder all the risks.
uhm...kay, well im sorry that the only women you seem to have met seem to have fallen out of the stepford wives, i made the first move with my ex, i paid for our first date, and yeah the dressing up part is fun, but saying that you guys shoulder all the risks, women put more emotionally into a relatsionship form the get go so we have more to lose in the outcome.
anyways back to the original question/statement, i don't see why men have to be confident to be found attractive, i don't find confidence very attractive, as there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, and most "confident" guys like to waver on it!
You have made some valid points, but your case is the exception not the rule. In the vast majority of cases, the male always has to initiate first contact with a woman he is interested in. Also, I am glad to hear that you paid for your first date with your "ex", sadly many women, although they won't admit it, still expect the man to pay. And since I always get rejected by women, I don't go out on dates, so I can't comment about the "stepford wives" (I don't watch soapies, they are an insult to my intelligence).
And what men don't invest much of their emotions into a relationship???,are you suggesting that men are not deep,sensitive and and don't have feelings?? Well I hate to tell you this, but men have feelings as well, we just don't express them as much as women do for fear of being labeled weak.
With regards to your comment:
Quote:
anyways back to the original question/statement, i don't see why men have to be confident to be found attractive, i don't find confidence very attractive, as there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, and most "confident" guys like to waver on it!
Again, as a woman you are the exception, not the rule, most people including most women will state that confidence is one of the main attributes that women find attractive in a man, apart from looks,money and status. But I do agree with you, that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and unfortunately some people think behaving arrogantly is being confident, when it is not. Also much of the confidence people try to project to the outside world is often fake, and not genuine.
And I stand by my comment that men shoulder much of the risks in establishing relationships with women. With some exceptions, it is the man who has to initiate contact (in most cases), and as such he effectively puts his ego on the line each time he approaches a woman he is interested in.
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