I used to HATE walking in front of people. I remember in high school I hated the walk from the cafeteria to my seat in the lunch room. I also used to hate walking without having something in my hand. Whether it be my purse or a pen or anything, I had to carry something. When I started college, I absolutely hated walking around campus.....I always felt like someone was staring at me. I eventually started to get over it after being at college for a while and after I got my first boyfriend.....and I really have no problems with walking now. I can go into a store without carrying anything which was a big change for me. I can walk to a bathroom by myself, I used to always have a friend come with me. I still hate walking outside on a sidewalk with a bunch of cars going by, I feel like people are staring at me.
When I was a kid, I was pigeon-toed. I am somewhat cured now, thanks largely to my dad. I didn't need doctors or special shoes. All my dad did was say "point your feet straight when you walk" every second of the day to me. And when you're a kid, of course you go everywhere with your parents, so it worked! His nagging made me walk straight.
Of course I am still a tad pigeon toed if I don't pay attention to it.
One day a few years ago I was walking down the street and was about to pass two strangers, a guy and a girl. Well just before I passed them, the guy started walking all fucked up, like imitating me walking. I felt self conscious about my walk the whole rest of the way home so I guess it still bugs me. But I try not to think about it. I've found exercise and sports have helped a lot with it, to make me more aware of my body.
The funny thing is that others are probably so wrapped up in their own problems, issues, drama and insecurities that they really aren't giving us as much thought and attention as we think. I guess the reality is we aren't necessarily the center of other people's universe. While we are worrying about how they are judging us, some could be worrying about how we are judging them. From experience, I have learned that some confident-looking people in public are full of fears and securities...when you really get to know them.
This is exactly what I try to convince myself of when I start feeling scared while walking out in public...when I am feeling level-headed, that is.
When it comes to walking, I'm not so worried about what my hands or arms are doing because I usually have a purse or bag with me. Instead I just start to get worried when I catch even one person looking at me because I hate it when strangers look at me. It causes me to feel self-conscious because I want to know why the heck they did and what they must have thought.
When i walk now i always have one arm under my shirt trying to fake off like im fanning myself but most people can see that im chubby and well insecure about it. But it helps me think that people wont statre
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