I know what you mean about the mom thing. I'm not a mom, but I was listening to my aunt who is very social and has three young kids talk about the mom of one of the kids in her son's grade who doesn't take part in any of the school events and doesn't make an effort to have play dates or talk to the other moms. She said it was such a shame for the kid and unfair to him. I just thought shit that's going to be me if I ever have children. It made me really sad because I really love kids and want to be a mom and would never want to push my problems on to them.
Well, I'm a woman who pretty much fits all the criteria for avoidant personality disorder and have for my entire life, and I'm married...
I agree that women have it easier because men are more often the ones who are stuck asking... I never could have asked him out, even knowing that he was interested, but since he asked me it was a little easier...
But I will say, having a relationship and having a healthy relationship are two different things. DH used to be sort of a jerk when we were younger but I was so convinced that nobody else would want me that I clung to him and became extemely paranoid that he would leave me. Also, because it was too hard for me to talk about my feelings I ended up cutting myself instead when I needed to communicate my pain. Even now I keep a lot from him and I don't believe I'm good enough for him. Anyways, I probably have some other personality disorders on top of being avoidant.
As far as being a mom, for me it makes it harder, because I feel guilty when I don't take my son out but when I do take him out I feel really nervous around the other moms. I feel so different from all of them. I would love to have a friend who has a son close in age but even if I could bring myself to form relationships with our neighbors or whatever, I think I make them nervous because they seem to avoid us, too. The other moms that I see around here always seem so much older and more together than me, too. I just can't relate well to any of them...
Joined: Jun 04, 2008 Posts: 251 Location: The heart of the sun
Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:25 pm Post subject:
Dave_McFadden wrote:
sleepysparrow wrote:
Relationships with girls have always been hard for me, they intimidate me for some reason.
Do you generally get along better with guys than with girls?
This is a late response but, I don't get along with anyone anymore but I used to get along better with guys. I've had bad experiences with girls in the past with bullying and rumors and it seems as if I run into mean girls more often than guys. I'm sure there are lots of nice girls out there I just haven't met any...
_________________ I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic — in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself.
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