Friends

renegade · Advanced User Joined: Oct 26, 2005 Posts: 338

Hmmm...I would deffinetly go out if someone would invite me, despite SP, i'm sick of staying between 4 walls, you can go crazy all alone.

But now I have NOBODY to go out with. I moved one year ago with my family to this city, witch is like bronx or something, i don't know, you can imagine how the people are.

So my neighbors from my flat and sorroundings often came to see the new guy (me). I liked to call them ''friends'', they were nice to me (and i somehow felt comfortable with them). They invited me to go out with them and they'r friends and I accepted.

And SP isn't much of a problem when you feel accepted by the others. Things were good untill they came to know me better. And slowly they became more reserved toward me. But they would still come to visit me, only to use me and take advantage of me. I often asked them about going out, but they made up an excuse or just avoided the subject, all the times, so I couldn't go with them.

And the next day when they came to use my computer or to ask for money or something they were talking about the other day and how much fun they had in that club or at that party, event and so on.

That was it. I got really angry and don't let them do they'r thing anymore, they used to call me only when they needed me to solve they'r problems, not to ask me to join them when they go out. You wonder why I want to go out ? Well, lonelyness and depression are much harder for me to handle than SP symptoms.

I can't figure out what's that thing that drives poeple away from me, cause I'm trying so hard to fight SP, overcome my avoidant personality disorder and make a bond with them and no succes. Evil or Very Mad

So now I'm all alone, no real friends. The only thing that keeps me going are my penfriends.