Where'd all our confidence go?

ColdAsIce · Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:22 pm Post subject:

I have never been confident, I use to gain confidence through my good friends when I was younger, but none of them are around anymore so confidence is very hard for me to gain and maintain. I was bullied alot through secondary school but I don't blame the bullies for destroying my confidence or self esteem as it was never there to begin with really.

I don't know alot of things contributed to who I am today but thats not to suggest that this is how I will stay for the rest of my life. I have already made some drastic changes and I am going to continue doing so until I am happy with my life and who I am.

LittleMissScareAll · Expert User Joined: Jun 15, 2005 Posts: 716 Location: Hell

I never had confidence either, and I've always had SP. Confused

But it didn't help to be told I was fat & ugly every day of my life. Now that's all I see when I look at my horrible self.

Boundless · Expert User Joined: Aug 20, 2005 Posts: 615 Location: UK

Whats this confidence you people speak of Confused

heh people who treat you bad all the time must have problems them selves noone in there right mind would make others feel so bad.

The_9th_passenger · Intermediate User Joined: Aug 29, 2005 Posts: 103

The_9th_passenger · Intermediate User Joined: Aug 29, 2005 Posts: 103

When I was 4 I started school. The first week in school the teacher and the psychologist noticed there was something very weird in me. They met with my parents and told them my behavior was more similar to an animal than to a person. My parents then should have given me more love and taught me in order to be self confident but they instead started ignoring me and leaving me alone so I was always out in the streets playing with gipsy boys.
School mates used to call me "gypsy". I was always dirty, unclean, wild-like... my parents just didn't care. My father thought I needed to become more tough so he always was shouting at me and being very hard with me.

I was bullied by two different groups os guys when I was a child. Some of them where 5 years older than me so how was I espected to defend myself? And the worst is no one did ever anything to help me... NOT EVEN MY OWN PARENTS.
So that was it.
Maybe the problem was that I never was intended to be a tough guy but my parents put me in a situation that I needed to be tough. Hope you'll understand what I mean. I had to be tough but I'm not at all. And so that is the cause of my mental disorders Crying or Very sad

also due to bulling and psychologycal maltreat .
I don't think I will be ever able to reach a reasonable confidence level. is it worthwhile to live? Only time will tell.

dream_j · Newbie User Joined: Oct 24, 2005 Posts: 7

Hey, 9th.... just to let you know, my childhood memories are kind of simular... especially the part about being expected to be tough...by my dad. I don't remember him actually telling me anything like "you can do it!", but he'd rather call me week/feeble all the time, and expected me to change i guess. Or ask me why i'm not playing sports...while he had hardly ever played soccer with me. I don't really balme him for that, ....he did it the way he could, but at that time it did hurt.