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Old 08-27-2009
cobalt_bluester's Avatar
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Hi folks. does anyone else find that they can sometimes get really angry when they feel that people are staring at them?

This afternoon, I went to a cafe with my folks and noticed this youngish girl staring at me from a distance. I found it a bit intimidating and very annoying as she wouldn't look away and she looked so deadpan too, and never smiled or anything. She had obviously picked up on the fact that I had noticed her staring at me but she refused to look away!!! So, I ended up losing my cool and spoke loudly to her across the room to her to ask what she was looking at. I then asked her if she wanted a photo. She never responded and ending up backing down by looking away. Hasn't she got anything better to do!?!

I embarassed my parents a bit and I was really sorry about that, but I couldn't help myself as it is all a part of my illness you see losing my cool like that. This is not the first time this has happened, but people should learn to mind there own business. It shouldn't bother me that people stare but I find it a bit threatening and I get so angry about it sometimes - hence the outbursts!! I have problem making good eye contact too so perhaps that could be all part of it I don't know, but it's all very upsetting and getting me down. I would be interested to hear from anyone who has similar problems, or someone who could offer me some good advice as to how to better cope with this type of thing.
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Old 08-27-2009
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I am non confrontational myself..I will just refuse to look thier way if i notice them starring...my father always suggested that I stare back until it dawns on them that they are starring at me...but that requires confidence that i dont think I can come up with so i just try to ignore them & be angry about it inside...but yes I sometimes get upset enough about it that I think about turning to them & suggesting that they take a picture cause it would last longer...but i never have.
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Old 08-27-2009
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I used to react like you but now I just ignore people. It still makes me anxious when people stare at me in public though.
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Old 08-27-2009
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i don't understand why people continue to stare blankly at you when you catch them looking. it's like they have no soul or any feeling or sensitivity it really creeps me out!!
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Old 08-27-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serafina View Post
I used to react like you but now I just ignore people. It still makes me anxious when people stare at me in public though.
how did you manage to stop reacting to the people who were staring at you though?
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Old 08-27-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Crowded View Post
I am non confrontational myself..I will just refuse to look thier way if i notice them starring...my father always suggested that I stare back until it dawns on them that they are starring at me...but that requires confidence that i dont think I can come up with so i just try to ignore them & be angry about it inside...but yes I sometimes get upset enough about it that I think about turning to them & suggesting that they take a picture cause it would last longer...but i never have.
hi. i used to be totally non-confrontational I wish I could start being that way again but it's like something inside me has snapped. i hate having this eye contact issue but I simply cannot find a way around it, it's like a curse or something!!
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Old 08-27-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobalt_bluester View Post
how did you manage to stop reacting to the people who were staring at you though?
I suppose I just figured that there was no point in getting riled up when people act rude. Some people actually become amused at the fact that they're bothering you and will continue to do so, some mean no harm and just become spaced out and stare. I've actually had some people say that they can stare at whoever and whatever they please. Not everyone is going to think staring is rude and some people don't even notice that it bothers you.
Then, I've encountered people who were embarrassed when I said something or stared at them back and they would just look away. It still gets on my nerves to an extent when people stare. What I really hate is getting stared at while I eat! That is sooo annoying! I just begun ignoring people and eventually I became a bit more used to it and sometimes I am oblivious to it. I still feel the stares but they don't bore holes in my head anymore. I think it's just a matter of getting used to it and trying to let it roll off your back. It's not going to be automatic. Also, if you keep in mind that such people probably stare at everyone else too, you won't feel as though you're being singled out.
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Old 08-27-2009
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Grrrr I hate when people stare at me, it makes me so annoyed and frustrated. My anxiety is so much worse when I feel like i'm being analyzed.
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Old 08-27-2009
 

Idiots all they are,we cant live a normal life so they just wanna mess it up even more cos theres lifes r perfect, one day they will have whats coming to them...............
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Old 08-27-2009
Anubis's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobalt_bluester View Post
Hi folks. does anyone else find that they can sometimes get really angry when they feel that people are staring at them?

This afternoon, I went to a cafe with my folks and noticed this youngish girl staring at me from a distance. I found it a bit intimidating and very annoying as she wouldn't look away and she looked so deadpan too, and never smiled or anything. She had obviously picked up on the fact that I had noticed her staring at me but she refused to look away!!! So, I ended up losing my cool and spoke loudly to her across the room to her to ask what she was looking at. I then asked her if she wanted a photo. She never responded and ending up backing down by looking away. Hasn't she got anything better to do!?!

I embarassed my parents a bit and I was really sorry about that, but I couldn't help myself as it is all a part of my illness you see losing my cool like that. This is not the first time this has happened, but people should learn to mind there own business. It shouldn't bother me that people stare but I find it a bit threatening and I get so angry about it sometimes - hence the outbursts!! I have problem making good eye contact too so perhaps that could be all part of it I don't know, but it's all very upsetting and getting me down. I would be interested to hear from anyone who has similar problems, or someone who could offer me some good advice as to how to better cope with this type of thing.
- You hate it when people look at you.
- Staring at you makes you angry.
- You hate eye contact.

Are all valid symptoms, but you really need to start the habit of asking yourself WHY you have them. It's a painful process. I can tell by the rhythm of your post alone. You were bouncing from exclamations to vague analysis to anger and then back to exclamations. That's your body trying to avoid the question. It tends to happen because we either 1) Don't want to think about our pain. 2) Know exactly what's wrong but think it's an unfixable problem.

I know it all too well. I must have written about 100 pages of notepad describing my pain in the hopes that it would help, but most of it was random musings focusing on random observations. It was more of an "analgesic" than curative.

So yea, I would really recommend just pinning yourself to a seat and confronting yourself. Don't let yourself hide anymore. It never works.
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Old 08-27-2009
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I honestly wouldn't realise if anyone was staring at me. I just realised the other day that I just blank people out, I don't really look at them. We have people come in to where I work, and I couldn't describe what they look like. Sometimes even people I've spoken to. I suppose I do this to avoid issues like that.
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Old 08-27-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepysparrow View Post
Grrrr I hate when people stare at me, it makes me so annoyed and frustrated. My anxiety is so much worse when I feel like i'm being analyzed.
People are most likely looking at you because you're beautiful. I know that this reason wouldn't help me but hopefully it helps you? My anxiety is worse when I'm being observed or analyzed as well but I'm going to try not to take it personal because I do the same to others. I don't do it to be mean, or to pick out flaws. I've always been this way.
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Old 08-27-2009
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When I'm out and people that stare it does make me feel uncomformatable and I have to get out of there somehow
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Old 08-27-2009
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Sometimes I get weird looks from girls, but a lot of the people who stare at me are guys. I find myself more angry with people staring at me, but lately, at least when it comes to guys, I've learned to calm down a bit. That doesn't mean I'm not still uncomfortable, though.
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Old 08-27-2009
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Relax, calm down. People stare, so get used to it. You can get frustrated and whine about it but it's not going to stop people from staring at you. It used to annoy the hell out of me too until I realized I was only bringing myself down. You have two options when people stare at you. You either stare back, or move on and don't pay any attention to him/her. Don't let others control your life.
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Old 08-27-2009
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Maybe that person has SA too? When i'm out i always look around, sort of scan the area before i feel comfortable. Sometimes i will notice someone who is just as uncomfortable as i am and i think maybe that person has SA too or their agoraphobic. But i don't stare like that person did.
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Old 08-27-2009
 

A teacher I once had used to say "How do you know they're staring at you unless you're staring at them yourself?"
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Old 08-27-2009
 

Rarely do people stare at me...
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Old 08-28-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dezzy94 View Post
Yeah i do that alot myself when i notice that someone is staring at me and i alway seem to lose my cool and start mouthing off at the person
hi dezzy94. do you find you are like this all the time now. For me, it happens when I am feeling most anxious.
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Old 08-28-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dooby-duck View Post
I honestly wouldn't realise if anyone was staring at me. I just realised the other day that I just blank people out, I don't really look at them. We have people come in to where I work, and I couldn't describe what they look like. Sometimes even people I've spoken to. I suppose I do this to avoid issues like that.
hi. i don't know how you manage to blank people out, I am too anxious and self conscious to do that.
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