Riptor

I've been there exactly. I can be bold for about 2 seconds in those situations, but after that I'm spent. And the longer I wait before speaking again the harder it gets, until I just resign completely. If I force myself back into the conversation past a certain point I feel like an outsider.

I've found that three is my magic number. It can be extremely awkward with one other person, and I'm invisible in a group, but that one extra person keeps it from being too awkward while still giving me room to breathe. I've had friends that I absolutely could not hit it off with with just the two of us, but with a third friend who I was comfortable with present I could talk to them fine.

Illusions

3's my magic number too. I avoid being alone with one other person but can talk normally with them when it's the 3 of us. I can't really talk in groups because I'm not assertive enough.

skatterkat

I don't speak much in groups, I prefer to listen. I don't like uneven numbers though, I get bored and wander off! :P

Recovering SA-er.

this_portrait

Of course I'm quiet in groups. Never can figure out what to say.

As for one-on-one, it all depends on who I'm talking to, though I usually do better with it.

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but true love lasts forever."
- Sarah, The Crow

whos_that_girl

Exact same thing here, i'm actually a very interesting conversationalist when only one on one, but put me in a group and it's like an alien came and kidnapped my voice or something! It was hell in school, and now jobs too. When will I get my voice back?! But my new thing is that I force myself to say something,anything, even if it's just commenting on someone's shirt, cause that's better than nothing, to me anyways. The magic word here is FORCE!

litewood1

i too can relate its easier one on one

kevinvincent86

All of these comments ring lots of familiar bells.

Sometimes I'll try to jump in, and once in a blue moon they actually stop and give me their attention. I'm so shocked that I forget what I was going to say, and for that moment I wish they'd go back to ignoring me, just to take off the pressure.

I think one problem is that group conversation is fundamentally different from intimate conversation in so many ways. Pack instincts and dynamics are more important than individual personalities, subject matter, etc. Everybody behaves differently. What you say or do in a group setting will be different and interpreted differently than what you say or do with one or two individuals. For a person with social anxiety or awkwardness, it just adds more complexity, confusion, and obstacles when you're already falling behind.

Haus

I'm the same way. I went to the beach about a week ago and met up with a bunch of other people that were there. I was aquainted with most of the people, but I couldn't realy keep up with many of the conversations that they were having. I just stood by and listened. It felt like my brain went into lock-down and most of my thoughts just sort of faded, making it much harder to come up with somethin to say. I was a little dissapointed when I seen some other guy my age just jump into the group's conversation out of nowhere like it was nothing.

Later on, I deffinately loosened up as the number of people swarming around died down though.

faithnomore

Its easy to get ignored in a group. They just seem to carry on talking about what they are up to etc. Its like i'm cast to one side.

I dont need to worry about that until i go outside properly. I stay home all the time.

Avoidance doesn't help, but at least i feel lonely instead of completely ignored.

robin_hood

I too have problems in groups. When in a discussion theres always someone who responds quicker to questions or topics discussed.

I feel like I'm stupid and don't know anything about anything because I don't know what to say about the topics talked about...