I can relate a lot. I'm also agoraphobic and have been for years. I haven't had a "normal" job either for a long time. Only small cleaning jobs here and there. But it's not nearly enough for me to be independent.
I feel guilty too for being so dependent on others. Especially because I dislike the people who I'm dependent on. Which makes me feel bad too, I should be grateful. Which I guess I am, but I can't wait to get out of here someday and hopefully never come back.