Regret from actions when young

Hey guys. I wanted to talk about my mind right now. I let a dog that I used to walk for a family friend lick my penis a few times. I also tried this with my own dog. I didn’t think anything of it; I was a horny hormonal kid who didn’t think before he acted. I didn’t even think of this event until about 6 months ago. I have bad OCD, and this memory of the event has stuck with me since. I feel sub-human, like a horrible person even though I have no interest in animals at all. In the present, I have a girlfriend and am doing well at a very good university. It just that this memory has been stuck on my mind and I can’t live a normal life because of it. I am always analyzing everything and comparing my experiences to others. I know there is a lot of people that practice this at an adult age, and even sometimes worse. I just wish that I could have a free, at peace mind, like I did before this memory resurfaced. I feel like my OCD is making this so much worse, and any normal person would just think “Wow I can’t believe I did that, that was so dumb, haha.” But all I can think is that I’m a bad person and don’t deserve love. I really like my girlfriend but now I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy with her. All I ever wanted was a serious girlfriend and now I have it, but now my mind seems like it wants to ruin it. It’s almost like I don’t want myself to be happy, but really, that’s all that I want. I think that’s why my thoughts have so much effect on me. I’m always trying to find closure to be happy but I can’t seem to live in the present. I really am a good person, but this memory overpowers all the good ones. I just really wish I could feel love, happiness, and just real emotion again. I feel like things will never be better and I’m destined to be miserable and depressed. Any help/appreciation would be great.

Ok, so you feel bad for what you did when you were a teen, don't you? And who did not make some really stupid sh** when we were younger? That's pretty normal.

Some people don't have girlfriends or a good family and even wishing for it, they have not the chances for being happy. It looks like you have people around you that can help you being happy, that can make you stay in the present, enjoying this moment.

Just forgive yourself :thumbup: The past is the past, and you can't fix it or change it whether you think about it or not, so why bother and suffer for nothing? If you really feel that bad for what you did, maybe you can change your mind trying to be a better person now and in the future, making your girlfriend and the important people for you happy.

Just think of it as something stupid a kid did, well, when he was a kid. There's nothing wrong with you. Live your life.