Resiliencey - why can some people bounce back faster than others

Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I learned resiliency out of necessity. When I was faced with my own mortality I found out just how resilient I could be. I used to fight my knee pain out of my spite. Take that knee pain, I'd say.
 
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C

cekicgu

Member
KiaKaha said:
Does anyone else have any thoughts on resiliency? I think this is actually a fairly valid and intriguing topic.[/QUOTE

It's a challenging act to think about all the questions start with 'why....' but it's good for me at least.so when ı think about why some people bounce back faster than others, ı find out that it's about how much you are stubborn.ı mean all these challenging mental problems only can or may be solved by being stubborn and decided.

I wanna give examples from my life. I newly got divorced,two months ago.my entire world's ruined by my ex-husband and I am a single mother now with two kids and I have to work in two jobs to afford my expenses and I am alone,all alone while I'm trying to cope with all these problems but I'm still alive,not lost in depression for only because I'm so stubborn and I've decided that I won't have a miserable life and I and my life will be better and I'll be happy in a way or another...

I don't why but these kind of thinking is working well on me...
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KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
gustavofring said:
I think it's easier for people who are well-established. Active social life, a steady job, getting acknowledged and approved in their life. When there's a setback these people have lots to fall back onto. If someone doesn't like them or they're somehow let down in life, they can let it go easier and bounce back from the adversity. Their "resilience" is better wired because they have lived this way for years. Their cognitive systems have been built up and they have strong psychological foundations.

Social phobics, some of us are unemployed or in a job and life where we feel miserable, our relationships with family members are often quite bad. When we fall into a hole, we don't have much to cling back onto.
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Yeah - I think the establishment of a well grounded up bringing is pretty important. See I have always thought that if you strip away the influence of other people and the environment then you are pretty much an empty slate. It's the formative years that is the most important in our lives - if you have not established those neural pathways that teach us how to be resilient....then I think, you are always going to be left behind somewhat.

You would THINK that you could start again and build up to the point where most other people are, but I think the damage would already have been done...and people who have not established a sense of self and strength just cant function the same way as everyone else - the same goes for someones spirit who has been broken time and time again.

It doesnt matter how promising the initial genetics were - I think that there is a point, a threshold that once broken is beyond repair. Other people, our experiences and our environment all play a part in our psychological resilience.... its like... if you took Albert Einstein and took him out of society away from people and all the concepts and ideas of modern life...there is no WAY he would have come up with the theory of relativity....he would be lucky to learn how to sharpen a stick. We need to be taught... resiliency in my opinion, is not innate and without the guidance and strength of others will never take hold in some of us. Which is why its unfair and unreasonable to assume that everyone is on the same playing field - because we arent.

I found a wikipedia article on it if anyone is interested...

Psychological resilience - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also the book I am reading is from a NZ psychologist who works at the university, its not globally published but if you are interested anyway its called "I have had it up to here...!"
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
I have been told on several independent occasions that I am resilient (including one of my former employers). I guess they just wanted to tell me something nice, like I lack on other qualities but at least am resilient :D. Or "poor girl you still try although you know you have no chances", something in that sense. Or, I have no other qualities so I have to make up for it by being resilient. It´s true after all. The only problem is that even if your mind would like to, your body and psychical resistance doesn´t have boundless resources to draw from.

Edit: Omg I just remembered the boss didn´t call me "resilient", but "resourceful". Invalid post then :rolleyes:. I am talking crap.
 
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