Running into People from the Past

randomguy19 · 07-01-2009, 07:25 PM

When you guys go into any semi-social environment such as a store, restaurant, or even school, does it bother you that you may run into ANYBODY in your past? My problem isn't so much people that I don't know, but rather the majority of the people in my past. These are family members that I haven't seen for years, friends in my childhood, and old buddies from high school. I get so worked up and paranoid that I'll see someone I knew. Because I gained weight and lack social skills, I tend to worry TOO much about what they will think. Anybody on this boat as well?

atvsamala · 07-02-2009, 11:59 AM

There's a huge difference between what I looked before and how I am today and every time I meet people from the past, all they can say is I've filled out a lot. They keep saying, "You're so fat right now". Some people would be a bit delighted when they say that while others are so amazed at the changes. There were times before that I would find their comments hurtful but eventually, i just came to terms with it. Anyway, my body is my business and no one has the right to tell otherwise.

Regards,
atvsamala

Banvard · 07-02-2009, 12:18 PM

I fear bumping into old friends & people I’ve worked with. I know for a fact that I would walk straight past them & ignore them, hoping they wouldn’t notice. I’d come off as rude, but really I just don’t like stop and go chit chat.

theblank · 07-02-2009, 12:56 PM

A few years back I was at the library and unexpectedly ran into a guy I used to hang out with 20 years ago. He'd lost a ton of weight and I didn't recognize him, but he recognized me immediately. He proudly told me he was married, had 3 kids, a big house, a good job and was doing well. Then he asked me what I was up to and the humiliation fest began. After a LONG, AWKWARD pause I NERVOUSLY told him that I wasn't doing so good and was just trying to get my life together. I was still single, no kids, unemployed, living with my parents and literally losing my mind. I could see a smirk on his face and I knew he thought I was a total loser. God knows I thought I was one too. I wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible so I told him I had to get going (I was at the library doing research). But instead of going back to my research, I jumped into my car and sped off to a different part of town. I went into a drugstore where I walked around aimlessly trying to deal with my feelings. As I walked out who did I run into again? The same guy. He looked at me like he was confused and said I thought you had to do research? After another awkward pause I told him that I had finished it. He smirked again and shook his head. I couldn't believe I'd been humiliated twice within a 10 minute period by a guy I hadn't seen in 20 years. It was awful.

Fighter86 · 07-02-2009, 01:34 PM

I'm sorry something like that happened to you, theblank. It must have felt awful, I can't imagine if it happened to me. Well, recently, I started working in a tertiary institution, and when I applied for the job, I didn't think of all the people I could possibly run into who were studying there, but run into I did, I ran into some ex school mates whoI pretend not to notice, and another one who was working there as well. Now, I don't even go to lunch at this canteen I actually like going to for fear of running into her, and oh, she looks great, it just makes me feel really bad when I see her, I feel so ugly compared to her.

NothingElseMatters · 07-02-2009, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randomguy19

When you guys go into any semi-social environment such as a store, restaurant, or even school, does it bother you that you may run into ANYBODY in your past? My problem isn't so much people that I don't know, but rather the majority of the people in my past. These are family members that I haven't seen for years, friends in my childhood, and old buddies from high school. I get so worked up and paranoid that I'll see someone I knew. Because I gained weight and lack social skills, I tend to worry TOO much about what they will think. Anybody on this boat as well?

try not to worry so much about it,whatever it is that they r thinking doesnt' have any effect on you.they r gonna continue living there lives after they meet u and u r living yours.usually people have so many thoughts and problems that u r not even close to think about what they r thinking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banvard

I fear bumping into old friends & people I’ve worked with. I know for a fact that I would walk straight past them & ignore them, hoping they wouldn’t notice. I’d come off as rude, but really I just don’t like stop and go chit chat.

i used to do the same.but i didn like it cause although i didn feel like rude that was what i projected.now when i bump into someone i'll just say hi and see where it goes.maybe they'll say it back and have a talk or maybe they'll ignore me.either way i feel better and if someone ignores , they r rude,not me

Rodox · 07-02-2009, 05:08 PM

I used to be afraid,but I am actually better now than I was then,most people I see are fat,with a lot of kids,look much older than they are.

Jannah · 07-02-2009, 10:41 PM

I fear that too. So I always avoid eye contact with people, just in case I may run into someone I don't feel like saying hi to. I'm not so much afraid of someone being rude to me by not saying hi back, but of the humiliation that will come if they don't answer me in front of everybody, that's what I fear the most being humiliated and of course being rejected.

Flowers-Of-Bloom · 07-03-2009, 12:34 AM

I'm paranoid about meeting people who I never really got along with from school... I saw a girl who I used to know at the train station a few times... I dunno if she recognised me, so when I go to the station or to the shops, I'm all paranoid, more than usual.
Thankfully no one from the past has actually *approched* me. That would be bad...

randomguy19 · 07-03-2009, 01:50 AM

I'm glad more replied to this post. I'm also glad that I'm not alone. The ironic thing is, a lot of us are probably doing a lot better than those from our past that now have children and married to someone they will eventually divorce.