Sabotaging myself...

lilmutegirl · Jul 12, 2014

So, I recently got promoted at one of my jobs and I am pretty excited...except...I kind of violated a policy (I checked my email from home). The day after doing so, it was made clear that we are not to do so. Apparently, it could even end up costing my employer a considerable amount of money (due to an investigation...hourly personnel are not to work from home). I absolutely understand this policy, and don't even know why I did what I did. I am debating whether to tell someone or wait until they talk to me about it (if they do). I am very afraid either way...I don't want to jeopardize my position, or be viewed negatively. I also am not sure whom I should speak to about it...I don't want a lot of people to know...I am now riddled with anxiety. I go back to training Monday. Should I wait it out, or talk to someone?

kihira · Jul 12, 2014

How would they know if you checked it from home?

lilmutegirl · Jul 12, 2014

I'm not sure, honestly...and, since it's not like a habit, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as it could be...they may have some way of tracking logins and IP addresses?? I am not tech savvy, so I'm surprised I was even able to figure out how to do it.

kihira · Jul 12, 2014

^They may track your login, but it's more likely that they don't, so if I was in your position I would not say anything unless asked, and if they do then have a reasonable non-work excuse for having logged in to your email

WeirdyMcGee · Jul 13, 2014

If it's giving you so much anxiety, it might be better for you to ask one of your co-workers if they ever do it or actually get into trouble.
Talking to someone else about it could ease your fear, you know?

lilmutegirl · Jul 14, 2014

I have not said anything to anyone, and thus far, nobody has said anything to me. I hope it stays that way. I have been remarkably calm since going back to training today, so I am really optimistic that nothing will come of a stupid mistake.

THeCARS1979 · Jul 14, 2014

lilmutegirl said:
So, I recently got promoted at one of my jobs and I am pretty excited...except...I kind of violated a policy (I checked my email from home). The day after doing so, it was made clear that we are not to do so. Apparently, it could even end up costing my employer a considerable amount of money (due to an investigation...hourly personnel are not to work from home). I absolutely understand this policy, and don't even know why I did what I did. I am debating whether to tell someone or wait until they talk to me about it (if they do). I am very afraid either way...I don't want to jeopardize my position, or be viewed negatively. I also am not sure whom I should speak to about it...I don't want a lot of people to know...I am now riddled with anxiety. I go back to training Monday. Should I wait it out, or talk to someone?

you seem so sweet . see how you feel about it then. If it bothers you or not and take it from there. it may be just a dumb rule and may not even mean much. Who do you work for?

lilmutegirl · Jul 15, 2014

I work for a county-run library. That is part of my concern...that if they are audited and it comes out that I did it, it could end up with a big investigation, or something. At the moment, I feel okay not saying anything, but it is in the back of my mind...

jc972 · Jul 15, 2014

What you do wrong before you're trained don't count. I firmly believe that. I wouldn't mention it. If they ask you about it just say "yeah i did that but it was the day before i knew not to do it and i ain't done it since" that should do the trick. Besides, they have no way of knowing you did it unless you tell them. It'll be ok

lilmutegirl · Jul 15, 2014

Still obsessing over this...normally, I freak out about potentially doing something wrong so much so that I never do it, for fear of the consequences...so I'm surprised at myself for making this mistake.

lilmutegirl · Jul 15, 2014

And now...looking up laws about employers having to pay people for checking email...ugh. I am really mad at myself. I view it as a stupid mistake (I think most people would agree), but legally, there could be serious repercussions.

lilmutegirl · Jul 16, 2014

I have been losing sleep over this...I narrowed it down to 3 potential people to talk to:
1) My branch manager
2) The person who mentioned the policy
3) The person overseeing my department, but for the entire system.

I don't see #2 or#3 very often, but am in the same building as them during my training, which ends tomorrow. I feel like #2 is the best bet, and am thinking of trying to arrange a time tomorrow when I am done training, or Friday morning, when he has established office hours.

I am expecting one of the following outcomes (or a variation thereof):
1) I am fired on the spot (not likely, but it could come about later, after an investigation, or something).
2) I am giving a verbal or written reprimand, and told not to do it again, or disciplinary action may be taken.
3) He thanks me for telling him, and, after I promise not to do it again, we all move on with our lives.

I am really hoping for #3.

lilmutegirl · Jul 16, 2014

The thing is, I have looked at policies and do not see anything outright that blatantly says what I did was in violation (though it could fall under the blanket of ethics, most likely...there is nothing that I found stating "hourly employees are not to check email when not on company premises"). Therefore, I don't know what the disciplinary action would be. I understand that if I do tell one person, he or she may have to involve other people. I certainly don't want it to get around, especially to those I work with on a regular basis (one reason I am leaning toward not going to my immediate supervisor).
A big part of my appraisal is whether or not I take responsibility for mistakes (I don't really think I've made many in the past, or if I did, they were minor...)
I am wavering about this a lot, and have not spoken to anyone other than online (one way of trying to deny the experience to myself). Most people seem to agree that I should not say anything and wait for them to approach me. I wish I could just forget about it...

lilmutegirl · Jul 16, 2014

As an employer, if you had someone make a mistake like this, would you prefer they admit it outright, or keep silent?

lilmutegirl · Jul 16, 2014

I think one reason I am so concerned about this is because at my other job (in retail), we had a couple of instances of internal theft by employees. We all suspected it for at least a month before they were fired. I think they were somewhat blind-sided, and thought they'd get away with it, so I'm not overly comforted by the fact that nobody has mentioned it to me. The difference is, I did not do this out of greed, so much as ignorance. I thought maybe it was frowned upon, but not a huge deal. Also, they were stealing over a period of time, whereas I am not going to make this mistake again...regardless of whether anyone knows or not. It's not worth the anguish I am going through.

GraybeardGhost · Jul 16, 2014

You're right: it's not worth the anguish you're putting yourself through. You made a mistake, one anyone could have made and no doubt many have—perhaps even your supervisors. If they knew about it and were inclined to make a fuss, they would have by now—bosses love to boss—and if an audit were to happen at some point in the future, they'd be looking for much bigger fish (e.g., embezzlement, serious misuse of resources), not so petty an offense as this.

If you go ratting yourself out, you will only draw negative attention to yourself, and no good can come of that. In my experience, a boss will always stab a subordinate in the back in order to keep his bread buttered the way he likes. You may not be able to prevent that from ever happening, but why hand them the blade?

I know it's hard sometimes to let go of things like this. Believe me, I still kick myself regularly for stuff I did nearly thirty years ago—little stuff, dumb stuff, stuff no one else even remembers. It doesn't help. This was just an honest mistake on your part and really not that big of one. For your own sake, let it go, forgive yourself, and move on.

lilmutegirl · Jul 16, 2014

GraybeardGhost-I absolutely agree with you that I should let it go and move on, and if nothing comes of it, I'm sure in time I will. The organization I work for is pretty awesome, and I haven't met anyone who comes across as bossy (even the County Librarian--he's nice and funny). And, had it not been specifically mentioned as taboo, I doubt I'd really be thinking about it. Apparently, there was an investigation at some point in the past (I'm assuming there were repeated occasions where someone did what I did-not just a one-time shot) and it cost the county almost a million dollars. That's what freaks me out...
I also kick myself for things that happened decades ago, but some stuff I have forgotten about and only occasionally remember. Hopefully this will be one of those things.

lilmutegirl · Jul 17, 2014

So...nothing has happened as of yet, and I am not scheduled to be back until Tuesday...I am feeling a little better. I think it is a policy that is taken seriously, but maybe only if it is on an on-going basis, and maybe they monitor it, but are forgiving if it doesn't happen much.

lilmutegirl · Aug 26, 2014

Ugh...something else happened today. This time, I was working at a location I have not worked with much, with one of my co-workers. A couple came in and checked some stuff out on two cards. My co-worker did not recognize them, and after she voiced that, I became uneasy, but did not think much of it, until later when I checked my email and saw their picture. They have multiple cards and are being investigated for theft. There is a note on each account (which I do not recall seeing) stating not to check stuff out to them-it was dated yesterday. I feel stupid, but my co-worker told me it could have happened to anyone. She called our main branch, and the people she talked to basically said the same thing. Tomorrow, we have a meeting and our boss's boss will be there, and we will voice our concern on the protocol (even if I had seen the email before they came in, what should I have said??). I am angry at myself for screwing up, and also at these criminals for putting any of us in this position.

I really enjoy my job when I don't feel like I am in an awkward position...

lilmutegirl · Nov 19, 2014

Okay...so tonight I made a mistake at work (which I have done before, and nothing bad ever happened). However, I worry that I will get in trouble. It is a privacy issue, and I told someone the balance of his daughter's account before I checked her age and saw that she was over 18 (but has the same address as him, which is what I have been told to check in the past). I should have known better, but it did not occur to me until after the fact...
I am slightly concerned about this, but knowing that I did not intend to do it, and most likely the daughter (and his wife, who is the person actually receiving the notifications about the account) will probably not complain, I feel like this just may be a learning opportunity for me to be more meticulous in the future. . .hopefully. However, I have heard of people being fired over privacy violations (giving info to someone not authorized on an account--even a spouse). I did not give the patron info on his wife's account, and explained that I was allowed to share his children's info because they are minors, and he did not specify that his one daughter was not a minor.

Sabotaging myself...

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