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Alright, so here's a little scenario. I lost a bunch of weight, and I would like to rejoin the human race, particularly, the female inhabitants. I've been without a girlfriend for a looong time. I currently have no friends, and no connections. Where do I go to meet girls. And please...

I've always worn a baseball cap, even before I started losing my hair. It has the dual purpose of shielding my eyes when i'm feeling particularly sensitive, and mopping up sweat when I get nervous. The hat is like a mask. The problem is, I need to look for a job soon. Like, right now as a...