She told me I'm NOT attractive at all

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xnn

Well-known member
Hi

I was at the shopping mall, and met my aunt there. It was nice to see her again, because I have not seen here for a while and I think we have a pretty good relationship. She and her daughter has been on vacation in a Paris a few weeks ago. I made a joke that she could find a french girl to me and take home to Norway. That's how the girl talk started. So then she told me, right to me face that I am not attractive to girls at all. I got pretty shocked because I had never expect her to say something like that to me. And this was in the shopping mall with people around us everywhere. She didnt even made it sound like a joke, she was actually serious.

So that means my thoughts are true. I'm ugly as hell and all girls hate me. I'm glad I have an appointment with my psychologist on monday. I want to tell her what happen. She use to say it's only thoughts and not the truth. But I am not so sure about that. I hate the way I look and can't do anything about it. I clean everyday, I use skincare and do my best to stay clean and smell good. That's all I can do. I do exercise and I am not fat. But I have isues due to my skinproblems.
 
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chazer2010

Active member
trust me bro,it is your depression or your social anxiety cause when you are normal you don't give a damn about the way you look :)
 
JuiceB

JuiceB

Well-known member
I 've been through similiar experiences like yours on more than one occassion. Hell, my younger cousin even told me I wasn't a looker. Eventually I just became numb to it cause if I didn't it would worry me 24/7.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I don't want to be depressing but I just want to point out the fact there is people who are ugly and not attractive at all. So if you think you are ugly and people are telling you so, you can try to convince yourself that it's all lies, or be philosophical about it and talk about relativity, but the truth is, your appearance is what it is, and it's yours to decide if you want to grant it so much importance that it will affect your mood, your psychological health and your capacity of action.

That being said, take note that skin problems usually go away with age.
 
emptybench

emptybench

Well-known member
Pacific_Loner said:
I don't want to be depressing but I just want to point out the fact there is people who are ugly and not attractive at all.
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Indeed, but a person unattractive to everyone is quite rare and it doesn't seem to be his case.

Still, I agree with you that we shouldn't let it affect our happiness. There are some TED talks on the issue (for instance, Lizzie Velasquez's one).
 
X

xnn

Well-known member
Thanks for your replies.

Just a few things, I am 32 year old. I have never had a girlfriend, or even kissed one. I look terrible and my skin condition will never get better, it has just gotten worse and worse. As I said I do my best to stay cleaned and try to dress appealing. Due to my social anxiety I get warm and start to sweat around people. I can't control that myself.

When it comes to girls I do not go for looks. If a girl is kind, nice, warm and caring I would like her. If she's hot that's just a bonus.

After my aunt told me I'm not appealing, I said "well thank you for that. That was very nice to hear". Then she said we are both "improper". So she's obviously thinks these things about herself. I do not think she's "improper". She looks appealing to me. She is not very hot, but certainly not ugly. I would never say something like that to her.
It really hurted my feelings, and I'm sure she saw my reaction to that, but she didnt apologize, just told me we are both "improper".
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
People like that, with no filter, usually have no eye for beauty in the first place. They are usually only attracted to other loud, obnoxious, rude people. That is probably why you are not attractive in her (NULL) opinion.
 
emptybench

emptybench

Well-known member
xnn said:
When it comes to girls I do not go for looks. If a girl is kind, nice, warm and caring I would like her. If she's hot that's just a bonus.
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Some girls think just the same about guys. This is why you shouldn't care that much about your looks. And not being kissed at your age says much more about your shyness/SP/SA than about ugliness.
 
Tino

Tino

1
I've just seen what i'm pretty sure was a shaved Ewok cuddling a girl in the street, there is hope for all.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Get some money, make it obvious you are rich. That negates the 'ugly' factor.
Look how many unattractive guys you see around with pretty girls. How do they usually get them?
Money. And forgetting they are ugly, and actually acting like they are not - confidence.
Nothing kills off a girls interest faster than a guy who isn't confident in himself.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
My aunty reckoned I needed to put on some weight, when I was about the fittest I have been in my life.

My father reckoned I looked healthy when I was about 20kg overweight. Suffering from panic disorder.

Don't believe what people tell you, it can be full of rubbish.
 
K

KoolGenius

Member
Dude, It really does not matter what you look like. Its just how you present yourself. I was always horribly crippled by thoughts of me not being good looking enough through out high school. But once I got to college I realized that what people think of me is not the problem its what I think of myself.
Just show confidence and present yourself dominate. That is all you need to attract the girl of your dreams.
I can tell you from experience.
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
i don't know what you look like but not everyone in a relationship is good looking... lol your aunt should shut her trap... :p
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
That's really weird that she said that. I would assume your aunt was just a B word but since you say y'all are close, I'm guessing something else caused her to say that. Still, I thought the social rule was to lie in such situations, or at the very least keep quiet. If I'm correct about this being a social rule, then your aunt is in the wrong here. Even if she thinks her nephew is odd looking, she is not supposed to tell him that.

I'm glad you're going to talk about this with a counselor. As someone with social phobia, I can imagine that this incident will greatly affect you. I know I still dislike my uncle whom I haven't seen since I was eight. Anyway, I hope you figure out how to cope with you're aunt's harsh words.
 
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Lavinialuna

Well-known member
How mean of her to say that! My grandma was like that. Just a miserable person who never thought before she said things. I'm sorry your feelings got hurt :(
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
PugofCrydee said:
Get some money, make it obvious you are rich.
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