Should I stay friends with her??

PrincessKitty

PrincessKitty

Well-known member
She had a big go at me out of the blue. She never gave me reason why?

It started when I was asking to many questions about my friends ex, and she had a big go at me. It got so bad that she was calling me names like "attention seeker" and liar"
Of course it upset me.. but I kept cool and I didn't have a big go at her back.

So I message her and tried to talk to her. She went on skype and got another friend to talk to me?
I asked her why... but she didn't know why she did that.

Even when I tried to talk to her and be civilized to her. She didn't want anything to do with that.

So should I stay friends with her?? :question:
 
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MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Short answer: No.

Slightly longer answer: Something about your friend's ex has seemed to upset her in some way, and now she's playing the avoidance game with you because she can't face up yet. My advice is to give her time, don't contact her, and if she wants to contact you, she will. It will be hard if you two are good friends, but you don't need to beg and plead for someone to forgive you when you're not even sure what you've done wrong yet.
 
A

alxbkr

Well-known member
No. It's going to ruin you. She's a cancerous part of your life. Don't waste your energy on her
 
SonicMan

SonicMan

Well-known member
It sounds like she is selfish and doesn't know what friendship means. You are too good for her.
 
goblin

goblin

Well-known member
Lot of assumptions here with very little actual information. We see that OP was called a liar and an attention seeker, but that's not really a rational response to questions about an ex-boyfriend. We can assume that the friend is insane and completely detached from reality or that we don't really understand the context of the conversation/argument where these things were said.

I think it's a simple matter of miscommunication. Somehow, in some way, you touched on a sensitive subject and said something that was taken the wrong way, perhaps while she was having a hard time with something completely unrelated. We're only human. In no sane person's thesaurus is "overreaction" synonymous with "cancer," "horrible human being," or anything that would be normally applied to a compulsive liar, a thief, or an emotional abuser.
 
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DepravedFurball

DepravedFurball

Well-known member
Sounds to *me* like your friend is being suuuuuper defensive. Perhaps she's got a crush on this friend's ex, and she believes you to big a huge threat to the state of her love-life?

Or.... perhaps she's got a crush on *you*, and just snapped because she's sick of trying to hide her feelings?

....

Sorry. I'm taking a break from writing a teen fiction... and those little twists intrigue me.


HOWEVER... let's see now... moving right past *why* the fight happened and what was said... I find it interesting that she'd get another friend to talk to you on her behalf. She could have just as easily ignored you completely... yet she at least chose to have *a* line of communication open...

Still... it's disconcerting that she would have allowed someone else to be privy to the argument and situation that was just between yourselves...

If she's got a bit of an 'Alpha'-personality, then she might see your interest of another person as a sort of betrayal. Pack-leaders normally insist on complete loyalty to them... so... well, you'd know her personality best, but it sounds to me like she's trying to gain support from others...


On the opposite side of the spectrum... perhaps she's been privy to information that she simply cannot pass along... such as this ex of your friend being a huge and absolute douche. Perhaps he's violent. Maybe forced your friend into acts that they really didn't want to do... if that's the case, then she's really just trying to protect you in some really, *really* stupid fashion...


Naturally, you won't know they full story unless she actually *tells you* what's going on.

I would suggest e-mailing her... first, apologize for pushing, then follow up by saying that you're still completely clueless as to why you two had a fight. Ask if it's due to the ex. Is there something wrong with him? Something she can't tell you? A subject that's difficult to approach?
Then simply end it by saying that you've cared about her for a long time, have considered her a great confidante and friend, and that you want to work through this as quickly as you can so that things can go back to *normal*.


Remember to give her an 'out' when bringing everything up. People who are trapped and can't see the light of day will lash out like a cornered animal. *SOMETHING* has to be going on that you're not aware of... I just hope it has to do with *love*... 'cause I'd be able to work that into my story...
 
PrincessKitty

PrincessKitty

Well-known member
DepravedFurball said:
Sounds to *me* like your friend is being suuuuuper defensive. Perhaps she's got a crush on this friend's ex, and she believes you to big a huge threat to the state of her love-life?

Or.... perhaps she's got a crush on *you*, and just snapped because she's sick of trying to hide her feelings?

....

Sorry. I'm taking a break from writing a teen fiction... and those little twists intrigue me.


HOWEVER... let's see now... moving right past *why* the fight happened and what was said... I find it interesting that she'd get another friend to talk to you on her behalf. She could have just as easily ignored you completely... yet she at least chose to have *a* line of communication open...

Still... it's disconcerting that she would have allowed someone else to be privy to the argument and situation that was just between yourselves...

If she's got a bit of an 'Alpha'-personality, then she might see your interest of another person as a sort of betrayal. Pack-leaders normally insist on complete loyalty to them... so... well, you'd know her personality best, but it sounds to me like she's trying to gain support from others...


On the opposite side of the spectrum... perhaps she's been privy to information that she simply cannot pass along... such as this ex of your friend being a huge and absolute douche. Perhaps he's violent. Maybe forced your friend into acts that they really didn't want to do... if that's the case, then she's really just trying to protect you in some really, *really* stupid fashion...


Naturally, you won't know they full story unless she actually *tells you* what's going on.

I would suggest e-mailing her... first, apologize for pushing, then follow up by saying that you're still completely clueless as to why you two had a fight. Ask if it's due to the ex. Is there something wrong with him? Something she can't tell you? A subject that's difficult to approach?
Then simply end it by saying that you've cared about her for a long time, have considered her a great confidante and friend, and that you want to work through this as quickly as you can so that things can go back to *normal*.


Remember to give her an 'out' when bringing everything up. People who are trapped and can't see the light of day will lash out like a cornered animal. *SOMETHING* has to be going on that you're not aware of... I just hope it has to do with *love*... 'cause I'd be able to work that into my story...
Click to expand...

I have emailed her and thats when the skype thing happened. Since then she is avoiding me constantly.
 
PrincessKitty

PrincessKitty

Well-known member
yeahh thanks everyone. i was thinking for a couple days "is she worth it.. because she had a big go at me out of blue and I still no idea why? even though i asked her loads of times why?"

but thanks everyone. I'm just fed up of friends doing this to me, and all I'm doing is being nice to them. Then this happens??
 
goblin

goblin

Well-known member
Hmm. Well, I'm sorry this is the way things have turned out for you two. Friends (even ones who can be a little touchy) are hard to find.
 
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