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Old 09-16-2005  
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Default Shy, and can't Speak.

Hello all. i'm a new here. Nice to meet you all. I'm a 25 year old male, Mexican American . always been shy. since i haven't had enough practice speaking i'm really bad at it. I don't have enough vocabulary, expressions etc., and even when i study i can't remember anything of what i study. Many times when i'm in the street and someone asks me something, i can respond. but i can't pronounce well. or they don't hear me, so they go HUH?? and i feel like crap. i can't speak fast, because i can't think fast. i'm really slow, and i feel like i'm the dumbest person in the world. i also blush etc.. then many times the americans ask me a question, i respond, but they don't understand me or i don't pronounce well and they start immediately speaking in spanish like assuming that if i'm not good at english i would be good at spanish, which is not the case. he he he.

Well, but i think the main reason why i'm shy is because i'm not good at speaking and at my age, most of the americans or mexicans i see. they have no problem with speaking, they are so fluent, they can say anything with ease. etc. it seems it's just me. I also can't speak spanish well because of the same reason. i feel like a failure and parents keep saying "Why you so shy? TALKKKK!!!".

how does an adult who missed out on a social life in his child hood , make up? how can i learn to speak in general weather it is english or spanish. One bad thing with my head is I forget what i say and i get confused. then i blank.

Well i dn't have friends and i don't even talk with my parents much. is there any hope for me? how can i learn to speak.
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Old 09-16-2005  
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I always get mixed up in my words, and often blank out, I also speak very slow otherwise it would be even worse, people used to laugh with my slow and heavy voice...(now I'm older it's better, think I had a mature voice way too early) that's one of the main reasons I have this Social Anxiety, I too want to become more fluently...
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Old 09-17-2005  
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Default Re: Shy, and can't Speak.

nuketbon25

I totally understand what it's like. It's like a vicious circle. You're afraid to talk because you might make mistakes. So you talk as little as possible. But then you don't get to practise english and you'll never get better at talking. What worked for me in learnign english was reading out loud. Lots of people suggested that I should speak English at home with my parents. I guess that's the best way to practice. however, I'm shy with my parents so it didn't work. And, with not thinking fast enough, well, you can never think fast enough if your thoughts are in Spanish because you gotta translate it back to english anyway. So try to think in english and.. watch a lot of american TV so you get into the american mindset or way of thinking. You can sort of get your "missing" childhood back by watching tv and learning about it too. Also Do try to use english interjections in everyday life. All of the above things I mentioned seems to have worked for me. 'cause just today one person asked me if I am born here in Canada and I said I've only been here for 4 years. she was surprised and told me there is no distinguishable accent and my english is really good but it's just that I don't speak loud enough . (I'm working on that right now.) are you an immigrant too? I guess it doesn't matter... just don't give up because there is hope :!:
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Old 09-17-2005  
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ohh i know what that's like too.. today at work i wanted to ask about next week's work schedule, and i felt stupid because i couldn't make much sense of it and i stuttered a bit. :? then i wanted to beat myself up for not being able to ask a few questions without sounding stupid 8O

i try not to get hung up over silly stuff like that, but when i stutter or mess up digits (i'm a bit dyslexic) i feel dumb and i can't help it ._.

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Old 09-17-2005  
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hello all again. And thank you for your responses. i'll take em in to heart. Scrabble, you said something along the lines that my mindset was in spanish. Well, but that's not the ccase. i'm 25 years old, been in usa all mylife because i was born here. went to school, and college in english. I don't think in spanish, i think in english inside my head.

And my spanish is equally bad as my english. so my problem is not that i'm good at one and bad at the other. it's that i suck at speaking in general.
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Old 09-17-2005  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuketbon25
hello all again. And thank you for your responses. i'll take em in to heart. Scrabble, you said something along the lines that my mindset was in spanish. Well, but that's not the ccase. i'm 25 years old, been in usa all mylife because i was born here. went to school, and college in english. I don't think in spanish, i think in english inside my head.

And my spanish is equally bad as my english. so my problem is not that i'm good at one and bad at the other. it's that i suck at speaking in general.

hey nuke ... u described me! haha ...and my parents as well...theyre like stop being so shy say somthing! were salvadoran been this way all my life too im 25 nothing seems to come out right when I speak i stumble over my words, don't have complete scentences...stop mid-sentence, speak in a low voice...if someone catches me off guard with a question...I don't respond quickly like everyone else ...I react slowly...Im real embarrased about that .....my fam or sis are like stop doing that ! ...but im like sometimes I can't control it...I don't speak spanish fluently I can read it and understand it when its being spoken just fine. English is easy for me of course ( i was born here and lived here all my life)! but even that doens't make a difference ....my relatives..thinks Im like im mentally disabled or would like to label me that (the jealous ones). because Im shy both in spanish and in english ...Some don't understand what shy is....they just expect me to be a social butterfly like all the rest of the latinas in the fam! nice to meet u! 8)
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