Shy mom

Hi my name is Nicole I'm 25 and I've struggled with my extreme shyness my entire life. I didn't go on dates till I was 21 and the first boyfriend I had I married. Now we have a beautiful baby girl and I'm worried I'm going to pass my shyness on to her. My old job as a clerk at home depot was helping me with my anxiety by forcing me to talk to strangers. However, now that I'm a stay at home mom I'm afraid I'm losing the progress I made. For instance, I have been afraid to go shopping alone with my 5 month old daughter. My husband encourages this so the only time I leave the house is to see my parents. What steps should I take so I don't pass my anxiety onto my daughter.

Hi and welcome to the forum! Most likely a large part of your shyness is genetic. That doesn't necessarily mean it will pass to your daughter. She may end up being an extrovert. Parent's often complain that their children are so different and alien to them sometimes.
That being said. You can influence her. By not going out, she may pick up on that. If she does inherit your extreme shyness (and it's not your fault, you also inherited it) the best thing you can do is teach her how to cope. There's nothing wrong with being shy or an introvert. But, if it's preventing you from going out, then it's a problem that needs and must be addressed. Finding a therapist, forcing yourself to go out more often would be good steps in the right direction.

newmom said:

Hi my name is Nicole I'm 25 and I've struggled with my extreme shyness my entire life. I didn't go on dates till I was 21 and the first boyfriend I had I married. Now we have a beautiful baby girl and I'm worried I'm going to pass my shyness on to her. My old job as a clerk at home depot was helping me with my anxiety by forcing me to talk to strangers. However, now that I'm a stay at home mom I'm afraid I'm losing the progress I made. For instance, I have been afraid to go shopping alone with my 5 month old daughter. My husband encourages this so the only time I leave the house is to see my parents. What steps should I take so I don't pass my anxiety onto my daughter.

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You might try looking for mommy/daughter activity groups. I know there's quite a few in my area on meetup.com. It'd be a good way to socialize, for both of you.

Make sure she gets as much interaction with other children (and adults) as you can. Putting her in daycare even just one day a week could help with this, as well as give you time for yourself, which I'm sure you could use. Take her to the park, the library, for walks in the neighborhood. As she gets older encourage her to speak her mind, let her pay for things at the supermarket, let her spend time doing normal everyday things with people who don't have that anxiety (her dad, maybe, or your parents) so she can learn from their example. Mostly, just support her, whatever her personality ends up being, and communicate with her openly about any issues she may begin having as she grows older.

Well, children learn from their parents. If the parents show children how super dangerous spiders are, the children will learn to be afraid from spiders. If the parents show them, that all other people are super dangerous, the children will be afraid of other people. So, as was said, make sure that your children get into as much contact as possible with other children. And, for the sake of your child, try to work on your shyness, get out more often, get into more contact with other parents.

Welcome!!

Glad you found this place .

Thanks everyone for the great advise that really helps.

I will say, it was great socializing for my oldest son to goto preschool. But me taking him there.. I won't lie.. I really struggle with parent/chidlren things.. you moms can be very judging and us dads can be so.. I dunno..