Shyness during sex

lonely_down_under

Well-known member
Does anyone experience intense shyness or performance anxiety when making out? I've had sex two or three times before, I'm 21 years old. But these days I cannot even get erect or hold erection for more than 5 minutes due to extreme shyness. This fucking anxiety and nervousness has taken complete control over my life!

I'm incredibly shy person suffering from social anxiety since years of pre-school. I wish someone can help me out here by giving me any tips to counter the performancy anxiety or shyness during sex.
 
lol i like your avatar its apt...anyway to start with your talking about it so thats a brave thing to do for starters ... im a women ..so its different scenario we only gotta get wet and thats not even necessary ... but theres still the issue of sexual responsiveness and anxiety and shyness can get in the way there ... and orgasm !!! male ego ...yeah its not one sided, theres plenty to get anxious about.
Many/most women would prefeer to build a relationship based on honesty in sex ... the brains the biggest sex organ and all that ... get kinky and give a women thrills without the use of your prick.. i.e get familar with the process...enjoy her body...she wants that ... none of use are NORMAL when it comes to sex ... some of the best sex of had is with men that find it hard to come .... there loss my gain

u mite end up loosing out on random sex but sex based on true intamacy not just physical intimacy is beta any way ... i have often found randam sex easy cos i dont have to make a social effort...but guess who looses out there ... yeah well im working on it ...
 

BBCC

Member
Im not as shy as you. However, I never let my ex GF see me undress and I hardly ever took my shirt off. And after a while I wouldnt even kiss her. There were a lot of times I told her to not look at me while we were handling our business.
 

cadaver_

Well-known member
This is a problem for me also. I'm 32, started having sex last year(!), and found out I can't ejaculate in front of another person. After they'd leave I'd turn on the computer and cum within five minutes or less. Lovely disorder this is!
 

lonely_down_under

Well-known member
BBCC said:
Im not as shy as you. However, I never let my ex GF see me undress and I hardly ever took my shirt off. And after a while I wouldnt even kiss her. There were a lot of times I told her to not look at me while we were handling our business.

I undress fine, I get passionate and I do things well, like kissing and licking her, she knows I'm the best in that but I still DO NOT get HARD! Damn I don't know why, I get hard when I'm alone but with her, I just can't, I don't know what to do.

It is very embarrasing if you are not able to get hard and even she laughs when we make out. Why the fuck can I not do anything right? I mean ANYTHING, it just goes wrong always!
 
sometimes i cant pee when another guy is peeing next to me. so i think i kinda know how that feels...

here's a list of jokes about the situation, that can make you feel more relaxed and the girl will be more patient:

- oh, looks like Brother John is still sleepy...

uh...

can't think of any more jokes... have fun with this one though!

oh and if you cant pee too keep trying for like a minute and a half. if you didnt manage to do it, give up and wait until you REALLY have to go pee.
 

getbornagain

Well-known member
Atleast you've gone all the way a couple times bro. I cant get the engine started, I'm an insecure POS. So yes, I've experienced those feelings, and then some...
 

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
I didn't orgasm til i was almost in my mid twenties. then i couldn't orgasm in front of another person for another year or two after that. i just now got to the point where i am able to let another person give me an orgasm without having to "help it" along.

I think people (former self included) take sex WAY too serious. It is so much more enjoyable if two people can laugh together and be playful with each other during naked time.

being naked around someone takes practice for many people. Start small. Just lay together partially undressed and admire each other...once you're comfortable take it to the next level.

Sex is supposed to be fun and satisfying,not panic inducing and frustrating.


Be patient with yourselves. It takes time and practice.
 
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^ This is very good advice by V

I def wouldnt worry. Its totally normal starting out. All guys have something, some stage.Not a big deal. Great sex doesnt just happen. Practise makes perfect.


Im sending you a pm about this
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I didn't orgasm til i was almost in my mid twenties. then i couldn't orgasm in front of another person for another year or two after that. i just now got to the point where i am able to let another person give me an orgasm without having to "help it" along.

I think people (former self included) take sex WAY too serious. It is so much more enjoyable if two people can laugh together and be playful with each other during naked time.

being naked around someone takes practice for many people. Start small. Just lay together partially undressed and admire each other...once you're comfortable take it to the next level.

Sex is supposed to be fun and satisfying,not panic inducing and frustrating.

Be patient with yourselves. It takes time and practice.
Great advice. I am super anxious around sex - one of the reasons I actually joined this forum - and it's the reason I'm still a virgin today.

I agree that I may need to take it less seriously and just try to have some fun when a sexual opportunity presents itself but I overthink everything. It's something else I need to work on. Being a virgin at my age means that girls are going to expect I know what I'm doing, and that's going to play on my mind, also. Hopefully it won't matter when I meet the right girl.

I'm glad you got over your orgasm issue. It took years but it's nice to finally enjoy sex the way it was intended. :) I hope to one day be the same.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
^^ I am not sure about that. There are no rules when it comes to sex and everyone gets insecure about it sometimes, both men and women... but I can totally hear where you are coming from. I have known guys in their late 20's and early 30's (and beyond) who have been virgins for similar reasons.
It wont matter if you meet the right person and is sensitive to your situation - there is nothing worse than being with someone that just makes you feel like trash.

Funnily enough - when it comes to sex I am completely the opposite. I am very sexually liberal and not shy at all - I have no reservations when it comes to my nakedness and physical intimacy.
I am just shy and isnecure with everything else in my life...
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
It wont matter if you meet the right person and is sensitive to your situation - there is nothing worse than being with someone that just makes you feel like trash.
Yeah, I definitely don't want that. I'm insecure about my body as it is, so I need someone understanding!

Funnily enough - when it comes to sex I am completely the opposite. I am very sexually liberal and not shy at all - I have no reservations when it comes to my nakedness and physical intimacy.
I am just shy and isnecure with everything else in my life...
Maybe if you did social things naked you might have less shyness. ::p: I kid, I kid.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
Yeah, I definitely don't want that. I'm insecure about my body as it is, so I need someone understanding!

Yes - I know it sounds weird, but sometimes you can find yourself in sexual situations where you can sense the person is not really all that into you - and it's not a very pleasant experience. Sex is a lot better with someone who actually likes who you are...! I will shut up now.

Maybe if you did social things naked you might have less shyness. ::p: I kid, I kid.

Dont tempt me. Must...resist...urge...to take clothes off....while.... performing...day to day activities...
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Yes - I know it sounds weird, but sometimes you can find yourself in sexual situations where you can sense the person is not really all that into you - and it's not a very pleasant experience. Sex is a lot better with someone who actually likes who you are...! I will shut up now.
No, I understand. It's something I will eventually figure out on my own. I'm assuming you've had less than great experiences with this?

Dont tempt me. Must...resist...urge...to take clothes off....while.... performing...day to day activities...
It's too cold in New Zealand for that!
 

Nathália

Well-known member
I don't think it matters if you're a virgin.
I think it matter if your partner are comfortable around each other.
I agree sex is not seroius, it's about having fun and pleasing each other.
There are many ways to do that.
I hope you find that girl too.
 
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