Reholla, I know how you feel! Last year or the year before I was way too messed up to even consider finding a boyfriend...(unlike you I didn't even date as a kid or a young teen--unless you count preschool and kindergarten where I was never shy about my "crushes")
I agree with zeroday about childhood relationships being so much easier then they are now.
Now I finally feel like things are turning around for me and I think I might be ready for a real relationship--but I still find myself mired in anxiety and the inability to open up.
I think there's a feeling of shame for being alone on a romantic level. For men AND women. You feel the time tick by, your teen years are gone and still nothing, you're still lonely and inexperienced. It can make you feel a certain kind of panic.
I wonder if we put too much importance in having a boyfriend/girlfriend, believing that that person could rescue us from ourselves.