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Old 11-14-2007  
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Default sick and tired of not having a boyfriend!!!

I dont know about the rest of you, but if you dont have a boyfriend you can get really sick of it....

I've had more boyfriends in my childhood than ive had in my teenage/college years. Why is now any different?
I had like 4 boyfriends growing up...real boyfriends, we'd celebrate anniversaries and everything.that was 10 years ago....
and now its not just that i dont have a boyfriend but theres no guy i would even think about dating. (maybe im too picky).......

so, for people who dont have boyfriends/girlfriends, what can be done? Im not that outgoing (obviously)...im on here... so how do you meet people......

Im really ready to have a boyfriend!
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Old 11-14-2007  
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I think it's all about approachability. We folks with SA just give off entirely the wrong message. Our signals are nearly always interpreted as 'screw off and die' when we mean to say 'i'm lonely and i want to get to know you.' In your case it's doubly tough, because you're pretty. So what happens is, guys look at it like 'she's way too up on herself so i'm not going to bother for fear of rejection.' It took me forever to realize that I'm not repugnant and that I don't lack anything - I just can't socialize and I have a hard time relaxing and smiling, thereby seeming confident with myself and inviting with regards to other people. It surprised me to learn that others actually viewed me as arrogant and self-absorbed because I kept to myself, but deep down all I wanted to do was hang out and be a normal guy. It seems like your situation might be a little similar.
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Old 11-14-2007  
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FINE, Ill date you!! Sheesh!
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Old 11-14-2007  
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Reholla, I know how you feel! Last year or the year before I was way too messed up to even consider finding a boyfriend...(unlike you I didn't even date as a kid or a young teen--unless you count preschool and kindergarten where I was never shy about my "crushes") I agree with zeroday about childhood relationships being so much easier then they are now.
Now I finally feel like things are turning around for me and I think I might be ready for a real relationship--but I still find myself mired in anxiety and the inability to open up.

I think there's a feeling of shame for being alone on a romantic level. For men AND women. You feel the time tick by, your teen years are gone and still nothing, you're still lonely and inexperienced. It can make you feel a certain kind of panic.

I wonder if we put too much importance in having a boyfriend/girlfriend, believing that that person could rescue us from ourselves.
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Old 11-14-2007  
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Default Re: sick and tired of not having a boyfriend!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reholla
I dont know about the rest of you, but if you dont have a boyfriend you can get really sick of it....

I've had more boyfriends in my childhood than ive had in my teenage/college years. Why is now any different?
I had like 4 boyfriends growing up...real boyfriends, we'd celebrate anniversaries and everything.that was 10 years ago....
and now its not just that i dont have a boyfriend but theres no guy i would even think about dating. (maybe im too picky).......

so, for people who dont have boyfriends/girlfriends, what can be done? Im not that outgoing (obviously)...im on here... so how do you meet people......

Im really ready to have a boyfriend!
keep in mind that you are beautiful and smart,and that any man would be lucky to have you. maybe you need to be more assertive
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Old 11-14-2007  
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I just erased my post because it was just me bitching and had no contribution to the thread haha just realized that, sorry.
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Old 11-14-2007  
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Ok.

I think everyone has missed the OP's message.

The OP is not dealing with the same issue you guy are, where you can't find anyone at all!!! She's not saying that no guy will date her, she's saying she will only accept perfect or someone out of her league.

Apparently the alpha males (looks, STATUS, assholishness) aren't going nuts, so she's upset.
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Old 11-14-2007  
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Default Re: sick and tired of not having a boyfriend!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reholla
I dont know about the rest of you, but if you dont have a boyfriend you can get really sick of it....

I've had more boyfriends in my childhood than ive had in my teenage/college years. Why is now any different?
I had like 4 boyfriends growing up...real boyfriends, we'd celebrate anniversaries and everything.that was 10 years ago....
and now its not just that i dont have a boyfriend but theres no guy i would even think about dating. (maybe im too picky).......

so, for people who dont have boyfriends/girlfriends, what can be done? Im not that outgoing (obviously)...im on here... so how do you meet people......

Im really ready to have a boyfriend!


There is a million ways to meet guys. Online personals, in college, etc. I would say the number one place would be sporting events. Most guys like sports.
If your anyone of the 3 girls in the pic, your cute. Besides, its ok in a way for a girl to be shy at first. We still live in a society where the guy has to make the first move and approach you first. I don't know where your at with SA but just start with fluff talk and if the guy wants to go out with you he'll ask you.
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Old 11-14-2007  
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Want to go on a date Reholla?
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Old 11-14-2007  
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I always had a GF and have spent about 2 months as the longest time single since i was about 16. Now im 22 i have been single since May and this has coincided with my SA being the worst its ever been. However, especially aftre the last week i think that learning to like my self without having a GF has helped me start to overcome it. I have felt so much more confident this last week or so. Although i do miss having someone to wake up with when its cold!

And besides ill probably have a really bad attack on monday morning and be back at square one....
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