*sigh* Why did he have to be so beautiful?

I was on a cruise for the past 7 days and on one of the stops my mom, brother and I went to get a ticket for an hour long walking tour of the little town.

We went inside the building and as usual I was looking around at the pictures on the walls, the ceiling and the people in the room to avoid making eye contact with the person working at the main desk. I was calm until the person told us the next available tour was at 11 and my mom turned to me and asked "Does that sound okay?" "Yup, sounds good," I said turning around to face the person at the desk...

Pretty sure I made that sort of face without the open mouth. He looked a few years older than me...maybe 23 or 24, clear porcelain skin with freckles, huge brown eyes with long eyelashes, a slight Southern twang to his voice, a perfect smile and perfect teeth and just perfect everything, really. =| I quickly looked away as he handed us our tickets and we went to sit down. I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life! Wow...

30 minutes later he came to where we were sitting and told our group that he was going to be our guide. o.o Which was awesome, but terrifying at the same time. I managed to make eye contact with him a few times, but most of the time I was too intimidated to even look at him. I didn't think he'd see me as anything more than a tacky tourist like the many others he sees everyday or an awkward young girl (I'm 19, but look much younger...And I think most people consider my a child). It sucked. The tour ended and he said "feel free to ask me any questions you have." Obviously I walked away with my tail between my legs!

Basically it made me feel pathetic. It made me realize what a loser I am. I had the perfect opportunity to talk to this wonderful guy (he was super nice, was interested in history and nature and things that I love and laughed like a dork) and I didn't take it. I didn't feel worthy of him. That's really never happened to me before. I never talk to guys, but I never feel as though I'm not good enough for a person, either. Various things went through my head as I listened to him...My teeth aren't nice enough. My skin isn't as clear as his. I'm not funny. I'm not interesting. I'm not smart. My hair is ugly today. Why didn't I wear it down? Why didn't I wear more makeup? Why didn't I get more sleep last night? Why do I have to be so shy? Why does he have to be so beautiful?

I guess I'm just ranting. Feel free to comment! What do you do/tell yourself when you don't feel good enough for someone? When one person makes you doubt everything about yourself?

Drivemycar said:

Basically it made me feel pathetic. It made me realize what a loser I am. I had the perfect opportunity to talk to this wonderful guy (he was super nice, was interested in history and nature and things that I love and laughed like a dork) and I didn't take it. I didn't feel worthy of him. That's really never happened to me before. I never talk to guys, but I never feel as though I'm not good enough for a person, either. Various things went through my head as I listened to him...My teeth aren't nice enough. My skin isn't as clear as his. I'm not funny. I'm not interesting. I'm not smart. My hair is ugly today. Why didn't I wear it down? Why didn't I wear more makeup? Why didn't I get more sleep last night? Why do I have to be so shy? Why does he have to be so beautiful?

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Welcome to my world!

Except I feel bad around beautiful girls instead of beautiful guys. And I rarely wear makeup. And I have no hair to either pull up or leave down.

Instead of beating yourself up over it, try thinking of yourself as privileged to have had the opportunity to bask in his glow. Objectify him and think of him as something pretty, like a sunset or a flower. And next time time you come across a similar flower, try talking to it.

Or at least sniff it. You know, make sure it doesn't just look pretty and nothing more.

You know what? Just enjoy these feelings. They are among the purest, most unspoiled that you will ever experience. Oftentimes a fantasy is so much better than the real world, and the reality of knowing this guy on a deeper level would likely be a let-down compared to what you have going on in your mind right now.

Future relationships will (sadly) make you somewhat more jaded, so it's great to see something so heartfelt. I can't remember the last time I felt this way about someone, but it must've been at least a decade or so ago. Not that I'm old or anything, I just haven't felt anything epic in a very long time. ::

lol it happens , you meet or see someone that just blows your mind away it happend to me in a garage a few weeks ago , i wont go into detail but omg ..... she was lovely ...... im no brad pit but im pretty sure if she wanted braddy boy she could get him

Thanks guys.
I will definitely *try* to sniff the flower next time. hehe

i know the feeling cept im a guy, and i tend to ignore/act indifferent around beautiful girls to hide my interest/infatuation towards them.

sux hard, i hate myself everytime i do it

Why, it's nice to know I'm not the only one...Though, honestly, I wish nobody had to feel like this!

Serafina, everything you said is true. I think I need to keep repeating it to myself so I actually live by it. It's like what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I also need to get over my fear of rejection.

Kinetik said:

You know what? Just enjoy these feelings. They are among the purest, most unspoiled that you will ever experience. Oftentimes a fantasy is so much better than the real world, and the reality of knowing this guy on a deeper level would likely be a let-down compared to what you have going on in your mind right now.

Future relationships will (sadly) make you somewhat more jaded, so it's great to see something so heartfelt. I can't remember the last time I felt this way about someone, but it must've been at least a decade or so ago. Not that I'm old or anything, I just haven't felt anything epic in a very long time. ::

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Very wise guy

Ha, it's crazy when that happens. You think you've seen it all. That nothing can phase you or get through your defenses, then you meet that one person makes your knees feel like jello and knocks the wind out of you.

Tiercel said:

Objectify him and think of him as something pretty, like a sunset or a flower. And next time time you come across a similar flower, try talking to it.

Or at least sniff it.

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Hell.. why not just pluck the flower right up outta the ground, taking matters into your own hands! Decisiveness, flowers love that kinda thing. Then bring it home with you, getting to know it a bit better. Then put it in a glass vase so that it won't go anywhere; flowers have a kind of freewheeling attitude at first, but this can easily be corrected with proper discipline. Don't forget to give it a bit of water every once in a while.. that way you can bask in its glory ever and forever... never failing to give him a good sniff every now and again.

When it starts to wilt, clearly a sign of ingratitude for all you've done for it, press your little lovely in your favorite novel and enjoy the withered remains for the rest of your days.

Too perfect.. far too careless
I couldn't help myself.... I just took you!



yeah, I was thinking of Misery by Stephen King

hippiechild said:

Hell.. why not just pluck the flower right up outta the ground, taking matters into your own hands! Decisiveness, flowers love that kinda thing. Then bring it home with you, getting to know it a bit better. Then put it in a glass vase so that it won't go anywhere; flowers have a kind of freewheeling attitude at first, but this can easily be corrected with proper discipline. Don't forget to give it a bit of water every once in a while.. that way you can bask in its glory ever and forever... never failing to give him a good sniff every now and again.

When it starts to wilt, clearly a sign of ingratitude for all you've done for it, press your little lovely in your favorite novel and enjoy the withered remains for the rest of your days.

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That sounds good, but I usually avoid preservation techniques like that. I usually don't pluck the flower and just enjoy it while it's alive. Once it withers and dies naturally I enjoy the memory of it and look forward to seeing more flowers next year.

And I think it's a bit odd to give someone cut flowers. Sort of like, "Hey! Watch these wither and die!" So I've only given a girl flowers once.

I've never tried harvesting people, though. That might be something to think about....

Serafina said:

Awesome! You know it! Misery was a good book. Freaky, but good. Speaking of books...I read that Prosthetics was based on a novel. Yes, I'm reading that it was based on a book called 'The Collector' by John Fowles.

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Excellent, I'll have to look into this

Tiercel said:

That sounds good, but I usually avoid preservation techniques like that. I usually don't pluck the flower and just enjoy it while it's alive. Once it withers and dies naturally I enjoy the memory of it and look forward to seeing more flowers next year.

And I think it's a bit odd to give someone cut flowers. Sort of like, "Hey! Watch these wither and die!" So I've only given a girl flowers once.

I've never tried harvesting people, though. That might be something to think about....

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Less thought, more action! I'm counting on you, Tiercel...

you're my only hope

hippiechild said:

Less thought, more action! I'm counting on you, Tiercel...

you're my only hope

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Well, if you're down to only one hope, and I'm it....

Tiercel: plucking flowers like small children since 2010. Starting tomorrow.

I've had those sort of private unrequited feelings for many, many attractive girls over the years. Now I'm not sure why I used to stressed so much, or what exactly I saw in them. The really nice girls, those that were intelligent, kind, but possibly a little shy I probably didn't even notice. Shame really.

I think I stopped worrying about that sort of thing about ten years, and my life has involved less time wasted on unecessary worries.

MidnightStar said:

This reminds me of my very first crush. The first time I saw him I probably did the face too. I was 15, and had gone grocery shopping with my Mom. Everything was going as usual, nothing interesting. I was super anxious from the sa and was about to take my Mom's keys and go sit in her car. And then he walked by in front of us in the main store aisle.

I didn't remember being anxious, didn't remember where I was at, and I'm surprised I even remembered who I was! Because this guy who I deemed as beautiful, looked up and smiled at me.

Well, from that day forward I was soo charmed by him. I would find any excuse to go to the store, despite the sa. I would suffer through being anxious any day/time just to see him once. He would walk by me in the store and say hello. I would say hello back. Then he would turn really red and look at the floor. I would do the same, lol. This went on for 4 years and nothing else ever happened.

He finally got transferred to another store and I never saw him again. I often wonder what happened to him though. I imagine he's married now, with a lovely wife and a few kids.

I felt so broken-hearted when he left, but it did teach me something. I know now that if I love someone or am interested in them, I should always tell them. It's so much better to try and fail than to live with regrets.

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what could have been eh star well he sounds as shy as you so why dont you ask at the store were he went to stalk him lolzzzz

I love getting so many helpful answers! I had a good long talk with one of my friends and she basically said the same thing. We're going to work on picking the flowers together. :: Is it weird that I like that metaphor so so much?

Aww Thanks Serafina. :: I feel like I'm cute. Not much more than that. I'm always told I look much younger than I am, and there's nothing wrong with that...I know I'll love it in 20 years or so. But, for now, I feel like I have the sex appeal of a puppy.