Social Anxiety - Stop Playing the Victim

SickJoke

SickJoke

Well-known member
saen said:
As I see it, your thread that got closed has nothing to do with this thread, so argue all you want. Although I do disagree with the presentation of your other thread, I disagree with some of Andrew's responses in this thread. They're two different topics; everyone should accept it as such.
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The point is that I don't want to argue. This is meant to be a positive thread, like all of my others! I've learned my lesson: don't feed into the negativity.
 
SickJoke

SickJoke

Well-known member
cosmosis said:
Well it's both pain (emotions) and negative / unrealistic beliefs that cause the anxiety and fear. They reinforce eachother. It might have been that someone hurt you when you were younger - which then made you form the belief that you are worthless which creates more reinforced pain which then strengthens the original belief. There are intertwined.

Sometimes you can go back and unwind them to some degree if its overly tramatic or if you didn't properly deal with the emotions in a normal way.

But to be honest and I've had alot of experience with this - For most people the best way is to work on creating a positive counter experience. For every negative thought, such as "I am worthless", you also have a positive thought "I am worthy" It's really the same belief, its just that only one of those can be active at the same time. You can't really believe you are worthless and worthy as the same time - the one that guides you is the stronger one. So if you make goals and work towards them eventually you can make the positive one stronger. And that becomes your new belief. Sickjoke did a post about this a couple days ago that I liked. You are not really 'changing' beliefs. You are just shifting the belief from pain to more joy.
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Hey thanks a lot, I agree.
 
j_brown2

j_brown2

Banned
I think there's a reason why you feel and then fear emotional pain, why to some people rejection causes emotional pain and to some not. Why to some when your being laughed causes emotional pain and to some not. It's not like pysical pain where there's really nothing behind it other than that it hurts, it will always hurt.

What if you been told your worthless all the time? But been socially accepted still always, so you wouldn't be rejected and be alone,... it wouldn't cause you pain,

What does being worthless mean to you?

That's what outgoing people are like, from their own many experiences they know they will find someone to socialize, a rejection to them is not much of a deal they move on quick to the next one

A social phobic getting rejected is painful as hell, he already feels so alone and in a moment he starts thinking no one wants him, likes him bla bla, and he won't move on

Cognitivity is a small part, iam not gona try changing, no one likes me bla bla, if this is a by product of my fearful mind. I go for the big fish, the root cause, eliminate the fear - the emotion that's driving it... and the cognitivity- believes, all will change automatically

That's why when your drunk, high, tired or whatever your always in a
 
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