social phobia or low confidence

darrens

Active member
This might seem a silly question and i like to think i know a bit about this,are they one and the same thing or do people see a difference.
I know there's an obvious connection but low confidence is low confidence, is social phobia just extreme low confidence?
I know people might see this as a stupid question just lately i have been having weird thoughts on this issue and would appreciate peoples input .
 

bsammy

Well-known member
hmm i dont think the 2 have to be connected as there are things im highly confident in and other areas im not..strangely enough, i know i can attract women and get them to like me, im good at sports, confident in my abilities but ive always been avoidant and social anxiety has always been there..i think there is a biological cause for the social phobia many of us face..
 

singing-love

Well-known member
I don't think this is a silly question, i honestly think that while there may be a link between the two they are not one in the same nor does having/not having one mean that you do/do not have the other, if that makes sense? I think that there are many variables and many circumstances under which either of these issues can "evolve". So to answer your question, i personally don't think it would be accurate to say that SP is just low confidence.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Social phobia is the fear of being judged or criticised by people. So I think there is a connection between social phobia and low social confidence, not sure if its all though, it is an irrational fear just like other phobias.
 

slowmotiondaydream

Well-known member
My confidence levels have increased a little as I've grown older but I'm still scared of social interaction so I don't think it's exactly the same
 

nicole1

Well-known member
I think there may be a connect but they are not the same. One has to do with the fear of social situations and the other has to do with a disbelief in one's power and ability to do something. While someone with low confidence may avoid some situations that they feel they have no strength to fully make a difference or impact, social phobia is a deep fear of any social interaction.
 

darrens

Active member
hmm i dont think the 2 have to be connected as there are things im highly confident in and other areas im not..strangely enough, i know i can attract women and get them to like me, im good at sports, confident in my abilities but ive always been avoidant and social anxiety has always been there..i think there is a biological cause for the social phobia many of us face..

I know theres loads of sites out there and programs scamming peoples money in my opinion,by saying its biological.
Theres absolutely no way its biological if u ask me .There is multiple reasons for social phobia but none of them are biological,but i feel like there is therapists and doctors out there selling programs ,books and the like on the back of this lie.
I ask this question about confidence as myself in my mind i am confident but my body says different by how it reacts in social situations.
I think its possibly learnt behaviour in my case but maybe i have underlying confidence issues so i was thinking about courses i seen like cbt and had planned on doing one possibly,but then i had second thoughts as to how useful it would be if its all just a confidence thing .
Does that make any sense ?
 

A86

Well-known member
Low confidence is a bit generic.
Low self worth or low self esteem I think has an intrinsic relationship with social phobia. I can see how having low self esteem can lead to or encourage behaviours categorised as social phobia.
I believe we can have some genetic traits that quicken or amplify specific mental traits, but ultimately we a products of our environment.

CBT would be the way to go, despite whether it is just low self worth or "social phobia"
 

bsammy

Well-known member
I know theres loads of sites out there and programs scamming peoples money in my opinion,by saying its biological.
Theres absolutely no way its biological if u ask me .There is multiple reasons for social phobia but none of them are biological,but i feel like there is therapists and doctors out there selling programs ,books and the like on the back of this lie.
I ask this question about confidence as myself in my mind i am confident but my body says different by how it reacts in social situations.
I think its possibly learnt behaviour in my case but maybe i have underlying confidence issues so i was thinking about courses i seen like cbt and had planned on doing one possibly,but then i had second thoughts as to how useful it would be if its all just a confidence thing .
Does that make any sense ?

a therapist would not be trying to convince anyone that social phobia is biological, they would want you to believe it is learned behavior that can be un-learned..i know this, ive had social phobia issues since the first day i entered kindergarten, age 5..whether i learned it somewhere i dont know but i doubt it..i think it is biological with me..its not just a 'low confidence' thing..if it was, you are saying i was suffering from low confidence at age 5?that doesnt add up to me..many researchers will definitely report that a genetic link is responsible in many cases of social phobia, it is somehow hard-wired into many of us..
 

Iseesky

Well-known member
Low confidence manifests itself in different ways...One of those ways is social phobia.
I'm not so sure anyone with social phobia could have high confidence, but I don't think everyone with social phobia necessarily has low confidence. I have pretty average confidence, I think.
Similarly, not everyone that appears to function normally is going to have high confidence. In fact, lots of people that appear to be really arrogant (and outspoken) are actually really insecure with themselves. They just don't want anyone to know it and their low confidence manifests itself as arrogance.
If that makes any sense.
 

darrens

Active member
a therapist would not be trying to convince anyone that social phobia is biological, they would want you to believe it is learned behavior that can be un-learned..i know this, ive had social phobia issues since the first day i entered kindergarten, age 5..whether i learned it somewhere i dont know but i doubt it..i think it is biological with me..its not just a 'low confidence' thing..if it was, you are saying i was suffering from low confidence at age 5?that doesnt add up to me..many researchers will definitely report that a genetic link is responsible in many cases of social phobia, it is somehow hard-wired into many of us..

There is always gonna be a genetic link since its very common for it to pass generation upon generation, but it passes from father to son to son to son by behaviours learnt from fathers .
As the saying goes like father like son ,but to say that a behaviour can be genetic is completely ludicrous .The reason it helps people sell programs and stuff is because those who suffer from it love to believe its not their own fault and theirs nothing they can do hence genetic.
"We can help you with your genetic ailment" it makes you more inclined to pay a doctor and accept you have an issue if your told its genetic.
I can not say what all is your particular issues or how you have it as there is millions of reasons why a person has it ,but i think low confidence at 5 i would say is not only possible but very common.
Whatever you reasons for it i think its a cop out to say its genetic, and i don't like to criticize as i know how bad thing can affect your life.
If you think its genetic then either of your parents had it? they passed it on to because you copied them possibly ,not because it's genetics.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
^^shyness has a genetic component so im not sure where you get your info..yes, both of my parents have shyness/avoidance issues as does my sister but my brother doesnt..its impossible for you to know if it is learned behavior or biological, not even the experts know this..unless you have a background in psychology and credentials to match i dont know how you can make such blanket statements as 'this is learned' or that is not..on the flipside of this debate you take psychopaths who are the exact opposite of social phbics, they are thrill seekers, daredevils..you ask most neuro-scientists and they would say people are born psychopaths, they dont become one or learn how to become one so i definitely think a lot of our behavior is hard-wired into our dna from birth..just my thoughts..

low confidence at the age of 5?how would a youngster have developed confidence by that age when all you do is play or build blocks, play in the sand? there is no social hierarchy at that age..im confused..
 

bsammy

Well-known member
and no, id be much less likely to pay a doctor if they were claiming my avoidance is a genetic problem instead of a learned one..if it is genetic, that means its basically set in stone and hardened, not much to change that but if it was learned, a doctor or therapist could help you unravel it through sessions..
 

darrens

Active member
I imagine theres no convincing you that maybe u learnt your behaviour from watching your parents how they act?
Do you really think you would have this issue if you were adopted by extroverts you think your genes will still mean you have social phobia?
If you want to believe that its fine we can agree to disagree but personally i will never believe that, to say your upbringing and surroundings do not shape your personality is hard for me to believe .
I also got this from my father and i think its kinda of a men thing in our family but some of us break out of it some don't.
In regards to your low confidence at 5 not existing or social hierarchy ,my son is coming to that age and i can assure u social heirarchy exists before 5 ,go down to any pre-school you will see it in action some kids get left out some are leaders some are followers.
In fact i would say these are crucial years for building confidence in a child .
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Perhaps social anxiety is a low confidence in communicating with people. I think it is possible to have social phobia and be confident in other areas of life.
 
ok here's another tricky one then....its a bit chicken or the egg....did the low self confidence come about from others putting you down, or did it stem from you putting yourself down and making yourself believe you are not good enough for what ever reason?

so in other words is it 100% outside influences? or 100% unjustified negative internal dialog? or a combination of both? I'm guessing more commonly the former leads to the latter, then the latter is what takes over and causes us all the hurt.

edit: nevermind as I think that's just another way of asking is it nature or nurture and that argument gets discussed too regularly.
 
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bsammy

Well-known member
Perhaps social anxiety is a low confidence in communicating with people. I think it is possible to have social phobia and be confident in other areas of life.

ive thought about this too but strictly speaking in my case, im confident in my social skills, i can talk to basically anyone but it feels forced or like work, it isnt natural..it feels like im putting on a social mask when i socialize..

darrens-well its impossible to prove either way but i have talked to avoidants that had extroverted parents..there is a member on SAS that is more avoidant than i and both his parents were extro..ill try to get him to chime in on this thread..not all behaviors are learned, again not even the experts know what makes us tick when it comes to behavior..it is nowhere close to being an exact science, its the opposite in fact..
 
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