Socially retarded

...yeah. I was acting like a total social spastic last week. Do you ever get days when everybody just seems ticked off with you? I kept trying to be nice and talkative, but kept saying the wrong things. I've offended loads of people (by accident), and now i'm dreading going to school next week. There'll probably be a mob waiting outside to lynch me.

Also, i had a very awkward English class - we all had to write a poem for homework. I thought, fine, i like poetry. So i wrote a poem. I got to class - and the teacher surprises us by saying she wants everyone to read their poem out and explain what it meant etc. Well, naturally, when it got to my turn, i was all short of breath and my heart beating about 500 times a second. I had to stand up in front of the class, read the damn poem, and talk about what it meant. I could have died, i felt so awful. And what's worse is that i chose to write the poem on a very sensitive subject - my Grandma's death (baring in mind i didn't think i'd have to read the poem to my classmates) By the end of the poem, shaking and nearly in tears from anxiety, everyone assumed that i was nearly crying due to the subject matter of the poem. No body laughed at me, fortunately. But it was so embarassing. Truly, one of those "i wish the earth would open up and swallow me" moments.

Dammit. I'm enjoying Sixth Form, but it's tough sometimes.

Isn't it better that they thought you were upset about your grandmother, not because you had to read aloud? I'd think they'd be sympathetic.
Not that that helps while you're going through it.
Anyone you insulted probably will forget over the weekend! That's why we have weekends.

try no being able to talk at all lol, thats worse case of social retardeness..

Isn't it better that they thought you were upset about your grandmother, not because you had to read aloud?

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Yeah, i suppose you're right about that. I guess that they will have forgotten about it next week, but i can't forget it. But that's just another SA thing, isn't it? Like, obsessing over stuff - but i'm just the worst for that. Next week will probably be better. But the more i talk to people, the more i slip up and say stupid stuff. Perhaps i'd do better if i kept my mouth shut!

That's what you have to do in Alevel English? Thank christ I did science.

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Yeah, part of the criteria we're marked on is something silly like "verbal communication" etc etc. So i've pretty much got an F for that part already. But i really, really wanted to do A level English - i love books. SA's ruined enough for me, but it ain't ruining this oppurtunity. But, i happen to be quite a good essay writer, so hopefully i'll make it on those merits alone. Fortunately, my other subjects involve no public speaking whatsoever: double Art, and Photography 8) It's a very good thing.

strawberrybrunette said:

No body laughed at me

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This is important to remember. A thing you were afraid would happen didn't actually happen. Yes, you felt awful, but you made it through and it didn't turn out as bad as you feared. Remember that the next time you're faced with a difficult situation.

they didnt laugh because they could understand your pain & maybe its a good thing .. doesn't make u a whiner