Strange problem

sonia

Member
I come across as a very outgoing person . I am the kind of person people wait for in parties so that I can liven up the environment. The truth is I am extremely uncomfortable around people. I have realised that when I meet someone unexpectedly on the street I act over friendly so as to hide my awkwardness. Sometimes it is very evident , at other times it is not . My husband married me thinking that I am outgoing , I was a rude shock to him when I refused to go out , or even visit family and friends (Including my own family). I do not like people , I guess I owe that to the abusive childhood I have had .

I can be embarrassed very easily . I ponder over the embarrassment for a very long time . It is tiring really . The same goes for insults , anger etc. I used to be a very calm person as a child. As I started growing up I started loosing my mind. I think about the horrible things people have done or said to me and be angry for hours sometimes days . This is very painful and tiring . This has gotten worse since I am a housewife.

I think I have improved since I have started confronting myself and talking to myself. I considered therapy , but couldn't find anyone who could help me. I realised maybe I could help myself. It works sometimes , other times it doesn't . Any suggestions???
 
I don't have any suggestions other than Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, especially in a group therapy program for people with social anxiety. If you can't do that, at least a therapist trained in CBT and very familiar with social phobia.

I just wanted to say, I can relate a lot. I have always been socially anxious but I feel that, while I have improved in some ways since childhood, I have gotten a lot WORSE in many other ways as emotionally "traumatic" events (traumatic to me because of anxiety) have piled up and made me paranoid and worn down. Now I get nervous in situations I didn't get nervous in before, or I get MUCH more nervous in situations I used to only feel a little uncomfortable with (such as icebreaker/introductions in group settings like class in college).
 

sonia

Member
This is something that I have also noticed . In my country therapy is not taken positively. People here think only the crazy go to therapy . In spite of the adverse social circumstances I tried to find a therapist. I realised that due to the social stigma the existing therapists are not very skilled. So I started therapy for myself . Everyday I used to talk to myself. Surprising this worked . I started improving . Besides my husband was supportive. But I realised that some areas have improved and the others have becomes worse ... I worked and improved on my anger ... but I have started confiding myself home. I sit home without talking to anyone for days together . If I talk to anybody for an hour I need at least 2- 3 days to get over the exhaustion... Isnt that weird !!!
 

MotherWolff

Banned
I come across as a very outgoing person . I am the kind of person people wait for in parties so that I can liven up the environment. The truth is I am extremely uncomfortable around people. I have realised that when I meet someone unexpectedly on the street I act over friendly so as to hide my awkwardness. Sometimes it is very evident , at other times it is not . My husband married me thinking that I am outgoing , I was a rude shock to him when I refused to go out , or even visit family and friends (Including my own family). I do not like people , I guess I owe that to the abusive childhood I have had .

I can be embarrassed very easily . I ponder over the embarrassment for a very long time . It is tiring really . The same goes for insults , anger etc. I used to be a very calm person as a child. As I started growing up I started loosing my mind. I think about the horrible things people have done or said to me and be angry for hours sometimes days . This is very painful and tiring . This has gotten worse since I am a housewife.

I think I have improved since I have started confronting myself and talking to myself. I considered therapy , but couldn't find anyone who could help me. I realised maybe I could help myself. It works sometimes , other times it doesn't . Any suggestions???

Stay positive....its as simple as that.:)

I have issues with holding grudges as well.

That's why we would benefit from just being positive.

When I have bad/negative thoughts, I look at funny things for example.

There are all sorts of healthy ways to cope with our negative self-talk.
 
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