C
chelsea x
Guest
Hi Everyone,
I've just been looking through the internet trying to find people like me, and finally i came across the website, i thought i was alone, and that i was the only one that felt the way i do, but this site as made me believe otherwise.
This is my story:- My name is Chelsea, and im 18 years old, from when i was very little i have always been very shy, at school i got embarrassed very easily at little things, i used to get very nervous when the teachers asked me to do things even if it was just to put something away for them. I was bullied at school for being overweight, ive always been on the larger size, but at that age i wasn't really fussed, i used to ignore the bullies, and try and get on with my work, as i wanted to achieve something in my life.
When I moved into secondary school at age 11, things changed, i got bullied constantly, my confidence went down completly, i still had friends which pulled me through the year thankfully, the bullying carried on, i was scared to go to school, as when i did i got hit by kids, i got spat at etc etc, I started to wag school at the age of 14, it was very easy to walk out of school, just had to make a story up and off i went, My attendance went right down, and my parents were called to school to discuss what was going to happen, i had to come back to school or they would be fined, so of course as it wasn't my parents fault what was happening i came back to school, to the emotional abuse and physical. At the beginning of Y10 aged 15 i left school completly, i couldnt take anymore from the kids, i lost all my friends aswell so i was very alone.
The school tried to get me to go back, but i wasnt having any of it, My mom fought so hard for me to have a home tutor and finally she suceeded, i got a tutor for 4 hours a week, my exams were nearly here and i had 4 hours a week to do 5 subjects i couldnt believe it, did they want me to fail? probally.
I had a home tutor for 18months, i passed all my exams, even though in my opinion was not very good results, but i did try my damn hardest. In the 18months i was at home, i didnt go out at all, my friends didnt want to know me, i was like in a world of my own, noone else just me.
After my exams, i thought things would change, i had the chance to go to college, but i just couldnt, i was terrified of going for the college interview, in the end my tutor came with me, i was shaking so much, i felt dizzy, sick, but i got through it, but knew i wouldnt be able to go back there everyday by myself. So that was the end of that
From 16-17 i just wished i could do the usual teenager things, instead i was stuck in the house on the computer or watching tv, i got bigger and at 17 i weighed 17 and a half stone -size 24-26.
I dont know what it was but something just clicked and i decided to just start walking the dogs in the morning and in the afternoon, that was the only time i went out, i watched what i eat, and i started to lose weight, i thought once i started losing the pounds, that my life would change id get some confidence and be able to go out and get a job but am i that lucky? no definately not
Im still in the same position now, 6 stone lighter, but still scared as hell, I feel like noone understands me, i have to admit i do go out maybe once a week, but never on my own, my mum as supported me no matter what, through out all these years.
I went to the job center just the otherday and i cryed my eyes out, she wanted me to sign on so i could get some money, to make me feel more independant, but the only problem is i had to get on the phone and speak to people i dont even know, and im absolutely terrified of talking on the phone ( might sound stupid but its true) i couldnt do it so my mum had to, why cant they realise that not everyone is the same??
sorry if ive rambled on abit, but i wanted other people to know there not alone, id like to chat to people with the same problem as me if there is any1 out there?? please get in touch [email protected]
thank you for listening
chelsea x, August 2004
I've just been looking through the internet trying to find people like me, and finally i came across the website, i thought i was alone, and that i was the only one that felt the way i do, but this site as made me believe otherwise.
This is my story:- My name is Chelsea, and im 18 years old, from when i was very little i have always been very shy, at school i got embarrassed very easily at little things, i used to get very nervous when the teachers asked me to do things even if it was just to put something away for them. I was bullied at school for being overweight, ive always been on the larger size, but at that age i wasn't really fussed, i used to ignore the bullies, and try and get on with my work, as i wanted to achieve something in my life.
When I moved into secondary school at age 11, things changed, i got bullied constantly, my confidence went down completly, i still had friends which pulled me through the year thankfully, the bullying carried on, i was scared to go to school, as when i did i got hit by kids, i got spat at etc etc, I started to wag school at the age of 14, it was very easy to walk out of school, just had to make a story up and off i went, My attendance went right down, and my parents were called to school to discuss what was going to happen, i had to come back to school or they would be fined, so of course as it wasn't my parents fault what was happening i came back to school, to the emotional abuse and physical. At the beginning of Y10 aged 15 i left school completly, i couldnt take anymore from the kids, i lost all my friends aswell so i was very alone.
The school tried to get me to go back, but i wasnt having any of it, My mom fought so hard for me to have a home tutor and finally she suceeded, i got a tutor for 4 hours a week, my exams were nearly here and i had 4 hours a week to do 5 subjects i couldnt believe it, did they want me to fail? probally.
I had a home tutor for 18months, i passed all my exams, even though in my opinion was not very good results, but i did try my damn hardest. In the 18months i was at home, i didnt go out at all, my friends didnt want to know me, i was like in a world of my own, noone else just me.
After my exams, i thought things would change, i had the chance to go to college, but i just couldnt, i was terrified of going for the college interview, in the end my tutor came with me, i was shaking so much, i felt dizzy, sick, but i got through it, but knew i wouldnt be able to go back there everyday by myself. So that was the end of that
From 16-17 i just wished i could do the usual teenager things, instead i was stuck in the house on the computer or watching tv, i got bigger and at 17 i weighed 17 and a half stone -size 24-26.
I dont know what it was but something just clicked and i decided to just start walking the dogs in the morning and in the afternoon, that was the only time i went out, i watched what i eat, and i started to lose weight, i thought once i started losing the pounds, that my life would change id get some confidence and be able to go out and get a job but am i that lucky? no definately not
Im still in the same position now, 6 stone lighter, but still scared as hell, I feel like noone understands me, i have to admit i do go out maybe once a week, but never on my own, my mum as supported me no matter what, through out all these years.
I went to the job center just the otherday and i cryed my eyes out, she wanted me to sign on so i could get some money, to make me feel more independant, but the only problem is i had to get on the phone and speak to people i dont even know, and im absolutely terrified of talking on the phone ( might sound stupid but its true) i couldnt do it so my mum had to, why cant they realise that not everyone is the same??
sorry if ive rambled on abit, but i wanted other people to know there not alone, id like to chat to people with the same problem as me if there is any1 out there?? please get in touch [email protected]
thank you for listening
chelsea x, August 2004
