Tim001
Well-known member
I’m not sure if anyone else has tried the “Biff” method, but I figured it was worth a few minutes of my time. I’m so tired of being sick and tired of worrying about this. Nothing has really changed for me in all the years of analyzing myself to death, but never really putting anything into action to help myself. Seriously, nothing has ever improved and with every day that passes, this thing seems to get a tighter grip on me. I figure that if I don’t do something soon, I’ll just sell up and move to the country to live the rest of my life in relative obscurity. I know the guy came off as a real prick and I know we’re all tired of hearing the name, but I figured I would share this anyway. Btw, I’m not a Biff fan.
First of all I don’t consider myself gullible and I don’t just jump on the nearest band-wagon on a whim. I’ve read libraries full of info on SA and human development in general and not to say that Biff’s method was any different, but it seemed to be a little more “real-world”; simpler, you might say. Sometimes simple is better. So being the eternal optimist that I am, I set out the following map for myself.
My goal is to increase my circle of friends (I have 1 as of now), move up in my company and to be more at ease in social settings.
Taking stock of where I am now, I realized that I have worked my way into a very tight little corner of society. It’s safe, predictable and no one hassles me. Actually, no one really knows I exist here, nor cares. My SA is extreme and controls my every move and every decision. I’m probably going to have to start over in many ways.
My list of exercises for the first level consists of the following:
1. Say hi to any neighbor I meet, even this guy from across the road that looks like he wants to take my head off every time I see him.
2. Say hi to coworkers.
3. Try to smile. I’ve been told that I look depressed or pissed off all the time.
4. Speak in a group setting, even if it’s just once. We have department meetings every week. Meetings consist of 15-20 people and last for about 2 hours. I never contribute or say anything. I think everyone has just accepted this after 5 years. I believe they think I am not bright enough to have an opinion. I’m sure I’m a joke to many of them.
5. Walk and stand straight. I walk staring at the ground. I don’t look at anyone. I actually have a slight curvature of the spine because of it.
6. Make eye contact with people. I find this extremely hard to do. I just naturally turn away from someone’s stare. This is an automatic response.
I’ve been practicing all week and here are the results:
First of all, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I forced myself to say hi to my neighbors and it went ok. Nothing earth shattering. I got a few strange looks followed by a courteous hello. I could not bring myself to say hi to the guy across the road. I almost waved, but then chickened out. People are looking at me with *distrust?*
The smile thing is not working. It feels so forced and freakish. I need a lot of work in this area.
I have been friendlier to my co-workers. They are being courteous, but cautious. A few kind of stared at me and smirked. At our Thursday meeting, I forced myself to say something which was relevant. It was only a few words. Anything more than that and I would have started hyperventilating. The words came out weak and unsteady. I was shaking, my face turned bright red, but I got through it. My boss and everyone else looked surprised, but no one gave me any negative response.
Lastly, I have been making a conscience effort to walk straighter and make eye contact. Walking straighter was not as easy as I thought. I felt off balance because I always used the ground as a reference point. My body wanted to go back to the old comfortable position. It was a huge struggle to keep my head up. Walking with my head up and looking at people passing by was very uncomfortable. I’ll probably try this in small intervals. I tried making eye contact with people during the day, but this also felt very uncomfortable. I tried several times with limited success.
So all I can say is that at the end of the week, I feel like I’ve accomplished things. It wasn’t 100% positive, but I feel better for trying. I’ll continue on in the next few weeks and see if I can see any improvement. I’ll post any breakthroughs.
First of all I don’t consider myself gullible and I don’t just jump on the nearest band-wagon on a whim. I’ve read libraries full of info on SA and human development in general and not to say that Biff’s method was any different, but it seemed to be a little more “real-world”; simpler, you might say. Sometimes simple is better. So being the eternal optimist that I am, I set out the following map for myself.
My goal is to increase my circle of friends (I have 1 as of now), move up in my company and to be more at ease in social settings.
Taking stock of where I am now, I realized that I have worked my way into a very tight little corner of society. It’s safe, predictable and no one hassles me. Actually, no one really knows I exist here, nor cares. My SA is extreme and controls my every move and every decision. I’m probably going to have to start over in many ways.
My list of exercises for the first level consists of the following:
1. Say hi to any neighbor I meet, even this guy from across the road that looks like he wants to take my head off every time I see him.
2. Say hi to coworkers.
3. Try to smile. I’ve been told that I look depressed or pissed off all the time.
4. Speak in a group setting, even if it’s just once. We have department meetings every week. Meetings consist of 15-20 people and last for about 2 hours. I never contribute or say anything. I think everyone has just accepted this after 5 years. I believe they think I am not bright enough to have an opinion. I’m sure I’m a joke to many of them.
5. Walk and stand straight. I walk staring at the ground. I don’t look at anyone. I actually have a slight curvature of the spine because of it.
6. Make eye contact with people. I find this extremely hard to do. I just naturally turn away from someone’s stare. This is an automatic response.
I’ve been practicing all week and here are the results:
First of all, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I forced myself to say hi to my neighbors and it went ok. Nothing earth shattering. I got a few strange looks followed by a courteous hello. I could not bring myself to say hi to the guy across the road. I almost waved, but then chickened out. People are looking at me with *distrust?*
The smile thing is not working. It feels so forced and freakish. I need a lot of work in this area.
I have been friendlier to my co-workers. They are being courteous, but cautious. A few kind of stared at me and smirked. At our Thursday meeting, I forced myself to say something which was relevant. It was only a few words. Anything more than that and I would have started hyperventilating. The words came out weak and unsteady. I was shaking, my face turned bright red, but I got through it. My boss and everyone else looked surprised, but no one gave me any negative response.
Lastly, I have been making a conscience effort to walk straighter and make eye contact. Walking straighter was not as easy as I thought. I felt off balance because I always used the ground as a reference point. My body wanted to go back to the old comfortable position. It was a huge struggle to keep my head up. Walking with my head up and looking at people passing by was very uncomfortable. I’ll probably try this in small intervals. I tried making eye contact with people during the day, but this also felt very uncomfortable. I tried several times with limited success.
So all I can say is that at the end of the week, I feel like I’ve accomplished things. It wasn’t 100% positive, but I feel better for trying. I’ll continue on in the next few weeks and see if I can see any improvement. I’ll post any breakthroughs.
