SickJoke
Well-known member
Disclaimer: consult a doctor before taking any of this advice.
The Big Keys to Overcome Social Anxiety
Hi and thank you for taking the time to read this post with an open mind, and to allow me to share with you: the strategies that have positively shaped my life. I really respect you for making the decision to overcome social anxiety, and I truly believe these techniques will allow you to start making changes today.
Contents
This post is divided into three levels of specific guidelines. Realize that no single piece of advice is the ultimate answer, all of these techniques are highly connected and build upon each other, and for the best results be sure to address all of them.
Level 1 -- Overcome Social Anxiety: Lifestyle
Level 2 -- Social Interaction: Inner Aspects
Level 3 -- Social Interaction: Outer Aspects
Conclusion -- The Four Levels of Competence
Level 1 -- Overcome Social Anxiety: Lifestyle
This level is the platform that holds up the next two levels. Without mastering this core base, the other techniques fall through. Think of it as the bottom of the pyramid.
-Diet -- Take a daily multivitamin. Eat 4-6 smaller, healthy meals a day. Incorporate fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. Drink at least 80 ounces of pure, old fashion water each day.
-Exercise -- Exercise rigorously for at least 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week. A 5-minute of warm-up, 20 minutes at your target heart rate, and a 5-minute cool-down is fine. Ensure proper recovery time between workouts. A good workout schedule is Monday/Wednesday/Friday or something similar. Don't work out right before bed, keep a few hours between.
-Sleep -- Get at least 7 1/2 hours of actual sleep each night. This could mean being in bed for up to 9 hours, depending on how fast you fall asleep and if you wake up during the night.
-Relax -- Give yourself at least an hour a day to relax, with no concerns on your mind. Watch a movie, read a book, take a long bath, meditate, do anything that's relaxing and peaceful for you. A good time for this is right before bed.
-Laugh -- Dedicate at least 15 minutes a day to a humorous activity. Buy your favorite comedians' DVDs, watch some funny videos on YouTube, do whatever gets you to really laugh hard.
-Grow -- At least 5 days a week: challenge yourself, learn something new, listen to a self-help CD, do anything that makes you feel like you're becoming more mature.
-Contribute -- At least 5 days a week: help someone, work for a cause that you believe in, do anything that makes you feel like you're contributing to society or helping anyone in any way.
-Interact -- At least 5 days a week: interact with any of the 6.7 billion human beings on this planet, face to face, in person. Maybe right now all you could imagine doing is to say "hi" to one person each day, maybe you can hold a conversation with a family member or friend, whatever it is, just do it.
Level 2 -- Social Interaction: Inner Aspects
This level builds on the previous, specifically focusing on the inner aspects of social interaction. Without mastering this middle section, the final techniques fall through. It is the next layer of the pyramid.
-Alert -- Become aware of your surroundings. Pay close attention to the person you're talking to. Listen closely to what she's saying. Don't think so much, stay focused on the external world.
-Empathetic -- Put yourself in your conversational partner's shoes. What is he really trying to communicate? How is he feeling?
-Accepting -- Realize that everyone is doing the best she can with the knowledge she has. Don't judge her.
-Non-needy -- Take on the mind frame that you don't need anything from this person. He is not your miracle cure, he is not your only hope, he's simply a friendly conversational partner. One of many to come.
-Equal -- Understand that she is human too, with weaknesses, strengths, regrets, and hopes, just like you. You are equals.
-Valuable -- Know that your time and energy is valuable.
-Independent -- You have your own opinions. Don't change yourself to be polite or impressive.
-Passionate -- Use your energy to be passionate about life. Feel alive.
-Positive -- Focus on the positive side of every situation
-Participating -- You are part of this world, not some disconnected observer.
Level 3 -- Social Interaction: Outer Aspects
This level builds on the first two, specifically focusing on the outer aspects of social interaction. It is the top layer of the pyramid.
-Take up space -- Keep your feet a little more than shoulder width apart. Let your arms hang out to your sides. You deserve your own space, you deserve to be comfortable.
-Lean back -- Sitting or standing, you can always lean back. Push your pelvis forward so your weight is on the balls of your feet. Chest up, chin up, shoulders back. The idea is to get the tension out of your body, maintaining an alert, relaxed, independent posture.
-Move freely -- Move at your own pace, however you want to move. Move comfortably.
-Speak slowly -- While you speak, give yourself time to formulate your thoughts. There's no rush.
-Emote -- You're human, not a robot. Vary the tone of your voice, express yourself with gestures and facial expressions that are congruent with your emotional state.
-Breathe comfortably -- Take in a nice smooth breath, hold it for a second, then let it out slowly, then pause for another second, and repeat.
-Eye contact -- It's not as big a deal as you might think. Strong eye contact is not required for comfortable conversations. Open yourself up, soften your eyes. You can break eye contact by briefly looking around the area of the other person's nose and mouth, or you can casually let your eyes roll off slightly up to the side, to think. The main point is to stay comfortable, don't think about it too much, smile a little, and most importantly: pay more attention to the conversation.
Conclusion -- The Four Levels of Competence
As you learn and practice these techniques, they will become easier and more natural. You'll need to think about them less and less. You will go through the four levels of competence.
-Level 1 -- Unconscious Incompetence: You don't know if you're doing something wrong, and you don't know how to fix it.
-Level 2 -- Conscious Incompetence: You know you're doing something wrong, but you still don't know how to fix it.
-Level 3 -- Conscious Competence: You learned how to do it right, but it takes concentration.
-Level 4 -- Unconscious Competence: You've practiced for so long that you hardly need to think about it anymore.
Start Today!
Study and practice these techniques until they become second nature to you. You can start today, right now. Thank you for opening your mind and reading this post!
The Big Keys to Overcome Social Anxiety
Hi and thank you for taking the time to read this post with an open mind, and to allow me to share with you: the strategies that have positively shaped my life. I really respect you for making the decision to overcome social anxiety, and I truly believe these techniques will allow you to start making changes today.
Contents
This post is divided into three levels of specific guidelines. Realize that no single piece of advice is the ultimate answer, all of these techniques are highly connected and build upon each other, and for the best results be sure to address all of them.
Level 1 -- Overcome Social Anxiety: Lifestyle
Level 2 -- Social Interaction: Inner Aspects
Level 3 -- Social Interaction: Outer Aspects
Conclusion -- The Four Levels of Competence
Level 1 -- Overcome Social Anxiety: Lifestyle
This level is the platform that holds up the next two levels. Without mastering this core base, the other techniques fall through. Think of it as the bottom of the pyramid.
-Diet -- Take a daily multivitamin. Eat 4-6 smaller, healthy meals a day. Incorporate fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. Drink at least 80 ounces of pure, old fashion water each day.
-Exercise -- Exercise rigorously for at least 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week. A 5-minute of warm-up, 20 minutes at your target heart rate, and a 5-minute cool-down is fine. Ensure proper recovery time between workouts. A good workout schedule is Monday/Wednesday/Friday or something similar. Don't work out right before bed, keep a few hours between.
-Sleep -- Get at least 7 1/2 hours of actual sleep each night. This could mean being in bed for up to 9 hours, depending on how fast you fall asleep and if you wake up during the night.
-Relax -- Give yourself at least an hour a day to relax, with no concerns on your mind. Watch a movie, read a book, take a long bath, meditate, do anything that's relaxing and peaceful for you. A good time for this is right before bed.
-Laugh -- Dedicate at least 15 minutes a day to a humorous activity. Buy your favorite comedians' DVDs, watch some funny videos on YouTube, do whatever gets you to really laugh hard.
-Grow -- At least 5 days a week: challenge yourself, learn something new, listen to a self-help CD, do anything that makes you feel like you're becoming more mature.
-Contribute -- At least 5 days a week: help someone, work for a cause that you believe in, do anything that makes you feel like you're contributing to society or helping anyone in any way.
-Interact -- At least 5 days a week: interact with any of the 6.7 billion human beings on this planet, face to face, in person. Maybe right now all you could imagine doing is to say "hi" to one person each day, maybe you can hold a conversation with a family member or friend, whatever it is, just do it.
Level 2 -- Social Interaction: Inner Aspects
This level builds on the previous, specifically focusing on the inner aspects of social interaction. Without mastering this middle section, the final techniques fall through. It is the next layer of the pyramid.
-Alert -- Become aware of your surroundings. Pay close attention to the person you're talking to. Listen closely to what she's saying. Don't think so much, stay focused on the external world.
-Empathetic -- Put yourself in your conversational partner's shoes. What is he really trying to communicate? How is he feeling?
-Accepting -- Realize that everyone is doing the best she can with the knowledge she has. Don't judge her.
-Non-needy -- Take on the mind frame that you don't need anything from this person. He is not your miracle cure, he is not your only hope, he's simply a friendly conversational partner. One of many to come.
-Equal -- Understand that she is human too, with weaknesses, strengths, regrets, and hopes, just like you. You are equals.
-Valuable -- Know that your time and energy is valuable.
-Independent -- You have your own opinions. Don't change yourself to be polite or impressive.
-Passionate -- Use your energy to be passionate about life. Feel alive.
-Positive -- Focus on the positive side of every situation
-Participating -- You are part of this world, not some disconnected observer.
Level 3 -- Social Interaction: Outer Aspects
This level builds on the first two, specifically focusing on the outer aspects of social interaction. It is the top layer of the pyramid.
-Take up space -- Keep your feet a little more than shoulder width apart. Let your arms hang out to your sides. You deserve your own space, you deserve to be comfortable.
-Lean back -- Sitting or standing, you can always lean back. Push your pelvis forward so your weight is on the balls of your feet. Chest up, chin up, shoulders back. The idea is to get the tension out of your body, maintaining an alert, relaxed, independent posture.
-Move freely -- Move at your own pace, however you want to move. Move comfortably.
-Speak slowly -- While you speak, give yourself time to formulate your thoughts. There's no rush.
-Emote -- You're human, not a robot. Vary the tone of your voice, express yourself with gestures and facial expressions that are congruent with your emotional state.
-Breathe comfortably -- Take in a nice smooth breath, hold it for a second, then let it out slowly, then pause for another second, and repeat.
-Eye contact -- It's not as big a deal as you might think. Strong eye contact is not required for comfortable conversations. Open yourself up, soften your eyes. You can break eye contact by briefly looking around the area of the other person's nose and mouth, or you can casually let your eyes roll off slightly up to the side, to think. The main point is to stay comfortable, don't think about it too much, smile a little, and most importantly: pay more attention to the conversation.
Conclusion -- The Four Levels of Competence
As you learn and practice these techniques, they will become easier and more natural. You'll need to think about them less and less. You will go through the four levels of competence.
-Level 1 -- Unconscious Incompetence: You don't know if you're doing something wrong, and you don't know how to fix it.
-Level 2 -- Conscious Incompetence: You know you're doing something wrong, but you still don't know how to fix it.
-Level 3 -- Conscious Competence: You learned how to do it right, but it takes concentration.
-Level 4 -- Unconscious Competence: You've practiced for so long that you hardly need to think about it anymore.
Start Today!
Study and practice these techniques until they become second nature to you. You can start today, right now. Thank you for opening your mind and reading this post!
