The loss of my best friend.

sebas96

Member
o I´m new at this forum so maybe I should present myself. My name is Sebastian, I´m 18 years old and I don´t really have a lot of friends. Maybe a lot of partners, specially in college. My life has not been exactly the best. I lived with my grandparents when I had 6 years old until I have 9 years old. Although I became the best of students at the school I attended, and since that time I have become a history fan, I must say I didn´t go out with any friend, nobody invited me to anything outside school. So I passed my summers playing with my toys. Finally, my parents decide that it was time for me to live with them so when I turned 10 I began to live with them. My life with my parents did not improve at all. My father was always fighting with their brothers (my uncles) so I barely see them and it was something on special ocasions (birthdays, christmas). My mother did not have family in the town we live, as my only cousin and my aunt live in other country.


As I grew older, I continued playing with toys and I barely have friends outside school nor did anyone invited me to anything outside school. I began to feel sad because I thought I was too different in comparison to the other kids. I did´t enjoy sports and I was quite bad at them so I got bullied constantly for that. I began high school and things did not go well either. My parents fought constantly and the only thing that calm me down was reading, but deep inside me, I was hoping one day I could have friends with whom I could go out and feel free. Years passed and thing seemed to be improving as I turned 15. My parents divorced so I felt happy because my mom and I began to do more activities. I learned how to swim and my mother bought a bike for me. I have my first female best friend with whom I still get along pretty well and began to have friends, some of which were male. I didn´t got along well with my genre, I don´t consider myself gay but I still don´t get it why in my entire life I didn´t have a good male friend. Was that so difficult?.
Anyway, I entered my senior year and I felt that although I felt calm, I did not feel happy. During the first days, I got along with a guy that was at my best friend class, we got along pretty well. He introduced me to his friends and we talked from random things but also of topics I had barely speak with anyone like conspiracy theories. And then, one day I decided to invite him and his friends to my house, it was the beginning of one of the best years of my life. I had tremendous adventures, big laughs and finally I felt I was beginning to have what I have missed my entire life. Me and the guy I knew became best friends, we talked about girls, we laugh about any video we saw and my mother felt very happy I finally have a good friend. We both did´nt smoke nor drink and finally I overcome my hate toward sports. Because of that I entered a gym and attended taekwondo classes. It al seems fine, although I graduated, we still saw each other with the group that became just like a crew. Sadly, one day, things changed.


I was going to the taekwondo classes and it all seemed nice until the clases began. My friend began to change since he went to the gym, all of the sudden he began to see his muscles not as something that was going to make him stronger but instead as objects that needed to be shown to everybody. I have always hated people that think that physical features are more important than intelligence. As a person who is a good student, is always frustring to see how everyone prefers the abs person instead of the intelligent one. So, I did not find good that attitude, specially when my friend told the other ones I was not strong as him, I felt really bad. I had a bad day so I literally exploted and I punched him in the stomach. I took my things and went to my house where I began to cry desperately. After that, I never saw him again, I write him on facebook a month later but as he seemed to be better without my friendship, I decided to leave.

Months have passed but I still miss those days where I felt free, I don´t know if I acted good or not, but that´s my story. I hope one day I could have another best friend like him, but in this moment the only thing I have is my mom, my pet and my female best friend.
 

nodejesque

Well-known member
Hi Sebas, I'm so sorry that you are going through such a hard time.

I don't really know what to say, except that in my experience... People change, and that's OK.

It's unfortunate that you lost your friend, but it may have been for the better. Especially if he was being a horrible friend, and making you feel bad or inferior.

As you get older, you will develop new interests as well as opportunities for friends, that share said interests.

I wish you the best, and hope that you are able to find peace.. Even in solitude.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Yea sorry to hear things aren't as good as you would like.

If you are really unhappy then it might be a good idea to ask yourself why.

If you sit down with pen and paper and make a list - an honest list - of why you aren't happy, then write down honest answers (even if you don't like the answers) then you at least give yourself a good chance of fixing/improving those things.

A positive frame of mind is needed to make self change and improvement.
I'm in no way saying you are the one at fault here, rather what can you do within your own means to take control of your own life to make it better.

Good luck :)
 

sebas96

Member
Hi Sebas, I'm so sorry that you are going through such a hard time.

I don't really know what to say, except that in my experience... People change, and that's OK.

It's unfortunate that you lost your friend, but it may have been for the better. Especially if he was being a horrible friend, and making you feel bad or inferior.

As you get older, you will develop new interests as well as opportunities for friends, that share said interests.

I wish you the best, and hope that you are able to find peace.. Even in solitude.

I still try to find answers for the loss of my friend, but I don´t know exactly why did it had to happen. Some good things came out from this, and now I am more independet but who knows, I hope one day I could have again another best friend.
 

sebas96

Member
Yea sorry to hear things aren't as good as you would like.

If you are really unhappy then it might be a good idea to ask yourself why.

If you sit down with pen and paper and make a list - an honest list - of why you aren't happy, then write down honest answers (even if you don't like the answers) then you at least give yourself a good chance of fixing/improving those things.

A positive frame of mind is needed to make self change and improvement.
I'm in no way saying you are the one at fault here, rather what can you do within your own means to take control of your own life to make it better.

Good luck :)

Actually I began to write a diary and it did help me. Now as time moves on, I remember less and thus I am less nostalgic than what I was when this happened 6 months ago.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
I understand how you feel. I grew up with a friend and used to see him every weekend. Unfortunately we went our separate ways, I moved on with my life and started to build it. While he refers to stay home and play video games. I miss him but I can't bring myself to talk to him it's just to hard and he likes to insult me. So I just moved on.
 

sebas96

Member
I understand how you feel. I grew up with a friend and used to see him every weekend. Unfortunately we went our separate ways, I moved on with my life and started to build it. While he refers to stay home and play video games. I miss him but I can't bring myself to talk to him it's just to hard and he likes to insult me. So I just moved on.

Why he likes to insults you? And how did you move on? As I put it on the story, he was the only true friend I had in my entire life until now, so is very hard to forget that now is all gone.
 
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