The Shopping Centre!!

Lotrsfan

Lotrsfan

Well-known member
Aww *hugs* I sometimes feel anxious when i go into town. But i hardly ever go into town on my own, i always go with someone. Mostly my mum. I feel ok, and sometimes i just ignore the people around me, or put on a fake confidence face and get to the places i want to look in or need to go. When im in town with my mum and because i sometimes put on this fake confidence look people probably think i'm out-going and so really confident, until if they were to talk to me lol. They wouldn't really get a word out of me LOL. :oops:
I also sometimes feel stood out, because most woman my age (i'm 20) have really nice clothes and i too them probably dress out-of-fashion or just to young for my age. They've always got nice shoes an' all and hair. I'm thin too, so sometimes i can't..or well i can if i had a 'don't give a toss what i look like' attitude but i don't and if i wear certain things they either just don't look fitting or they make me look even thinner and i don't like to show off my thin bodyparts lol. I feel jealous when i see teenagers or woman my age wearing lovely skirts or tight fitted jeans and most have got lovely shapely and not to plump bodies and i feel sometimes left out and geeky looking lol
i just have to get on with it. If i see some youngesters looking me up and down because i don't dress like them, wear the shoes they wear and have their hair , i just kinda ignore them and talk to my mum.
 
Y

Y

Well-known member
Richey said:
I walked around the shops today and started feeling pale, cold and sweaty after about five minutes of walking around, im very insecure about my looks and im quite skinny as a male(fast metabolism), i find it difficult to show myself in public unless i feel that im looking decent enough to be seen.

especially with the young people of today, everyone looked like models from magazine adverts, and i feel that i need to conform to this so that i can walk around and blend in rather then standing out as average.

Girls are wearing Tight jeans, have amzingly styled hair and walk around with such confidence.

Guys walk around looking fit and when im not content with my looks i start comparing myself to others and i over analyse how im coming across to people, then there is trying to maintain coherent conversation with the cashiers and the staff who work in the shops..ARGH!

After i had sorted out the shopping i just wanted to escape and get out of there .....

the REAL issue for me was that its like walking into an asteroid belt of strangers particularly in that it was busy when i was there, in the past ive felt sick for hanging around too long and i resist acting myself in public places that are full of people, because i consciously resist any attention in fear that ill look silly or foolish.

anyway most of that was completely irrational, how do you cope in places full of people that are walking around everywhere.

does anyone have any tips?

Also my overly confident sister sometimes finds shopping centres to be daunting and an anxiety enducing environment.

Its interesting how people handle certain situations
Click to expand...

Well i know this is probably the worst advice i can give you but... here goes... Why dont you try and look like them too? Well its helped me lol.

I used to be very skinny too, and ugly therefore, (2 years ago) i decided i was gonna gain weight and i did, i ate a LOT, and went to the gym, and after 3 months i was a total different person, everyone i met was telling me how much better i looked and how much ive changed etc.

And recently ive changed my wardrobe, went out and bought lots of new stylish clothes, died my hair, changed my hair style (went to a hair stylist for that and chose the hair i wanted from a magazine he gave me) and now when i look at the mirror, i love what i see, really. Sometimes i have a hard time believing its me, lol really, ive changed that much. Its even made me kinda arrogant i guess, when i see someone looking worse than me, i get thoughts like "oh look at that, what kinda person would wear that sweater, oh come on, what a sucky hair is that" lol.

So this is the game we have to play, id love to say just be urself, and dont care what people think, theyre stereotypes and ur original, but in practical those dont help much.
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
The one thing you should do is try to improve your posture and your walk. I used to hate the way I presented myself, but I made a real effort to change it. Keeping yourself upright and moving your shoulders slightly with each step helps keep up your confidence as a whole. This is the start to a bunch of other body-language improvements you should try to make, including smiling and looking people in the eyes. Your voice is a big part of it too. Try to keep it stable, meter out your sentences, pace yourself so you come across as in control. It's difficult, but it all helps, and the more you practice, the more automatic it becomes.

The other thing is to stack the odds in your favour as far as your appearance goes. Try to wear reasonably nice clothes, groom yourself, get your hair sorted, and make sure you smell good. Y mentioned this, and it's something you need to think about because everyone judges by appearance to some degree. It's not just about others though, the idea is to minimize points of contention for you personally as well. You should also try listening to music if you're out by yourself and not dealing with anyone in particular - not only does this help you to relax, but the whole mp3 thing is a fashion statement in and of itself these days. Two birds with one stone. Oh man I'm good.
 
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