squidgee
Well-known member
Anybody know what I'm talking about? That sibling that just does it better than you do. It's not just social skills too, but other aspects of life. Just looking at my brother's resume fills me with this infuriating jealousy that I feel guilty about. A bachelor degree in commerce, a master's in engineering, a volunteer maths tutor, designing race cars, 8 years of retail experience, all at the age of 23.
I can't help but feel like I'm living in the shadow of all his achievements. I officially hit the age of adulthood today, and I see myself as so much further behind than everyone else, as if everyone is running steadily towards the finish line, while I mope slowly forward, barely ahead of the starting line, tumbling and falling whenever a hurdle comes my way.
I guess this is a pretty immature way of looking at things, which just shows that I'm still in no way close to being an independent adult. I also just realised that I'm writing this because I've found myself in yet another depressive bout, tripped over another hurdle if you will, which means this will yet again be another wasted and unproductive day because I won't be able to stop thinking about it. You guys get it, you guys understand. But for all the comforting words of consolation and advice I might get here, it all feels so temporary and short-lived. It just never changes.
...
I really should stop writing this shit now.
I can't help but feel like I'm living in the shadow of all his achievements. I officially hit the age of adulthood today, and I see myself as so much further behind than everyone else, as if everyone is running steadily towards the finish line, while I mope slowly forward, barely ahead of the starting line, tumbling and falling whenever a hurdle comes my way.
I guess this is a pretty immature way of looking at things, which just shows that I'm still in no way close to being an independent adult. I also just realised that I'm writing this because I've found myself in yet another depressive bout, tripped over another hurdle if you will, which means this will yet again be another wasted and unproductive day because I won't be able to stop thinking about it. You guys get it, you guys understand. But for all the comforting words of consolation and advice I might get here, it all feels so temporary and short-lived. It just never changes.
...
I really should stop writing this shit now.