The Teen Rebellion Years: How do you cope with the memory?!

Ok, so I'm 20 years old now and I've definitely grown out of the whole teenage rebellion thing.

But for roughly 4 years (say 16-19), I did the whole teenage rebellion thing pretty badly. Dressed a bit seductively, kissed a few too many boys, got a bit cheeky to my school teachers, experimented with alcohol, snuck out of the house to go to parties as my strict parents wouldn't let me go, nearly got myself fired from a college internship e.t.c.

But, by and large, nothing REALLY SERIOUS (i.e. no drugs, no juvenile hall or anything like that!).

But I just can't get over this awful period of imperfection in my life. It makes me feel so flawed and is ruining my life. I've now become obsessed with obeying to the rules and being pure, clean and perfect.

Has anyone else struggled with this?

=/ i'm sorry you fell bad about it all.... thing is, we all screw up and have to learn things in our own ways. you've obviously grown into a really mature woman to be able to recognize that you did have faults. it really is all part of the past, everyone has something they regret.. you have to realize that those years played a big role in making you who you are today, whether they were the right or wrong choices. there's absolutely nothing you can do about the past, other than look it in the face, thank it and say goodbye to it.. you can only change your future now, so be glad the things you regret have nothing to do with what's ahead of you

Hmm. I think I've been the opposite. Too shy in school, never did much of anything. Then around your age and early 20's I lived it up. Trying to recover things I'd missed.
You shouldn't feel that anything you did was an imperfection.
As far as everything you've said, it all seems pretty normal to me.
Leaning too far in any direction I think can be bad though, so try to find a neutral ground if you can.
As long as you're a caring person, no matter what you do in life, you can never be a bad person.

My rebellious years were spent roaming the fields and mountains of Cyrodiil.

Yeah, I just spent my time playing Oblivion. I was totally rebellious.

IamThisOne said:

My rebellious years were spent roaming the fields and mountains of Cyrodiil.

Yeah, I just spent my time playing Oblivion. I was totally rebellious.

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lol Oblivion rules.
I loved the Shivering Isles expansion. Looking up at the sky all pink and purple and seeing the planets and galaxies. It's magical.

Polly_Princess said:

Ok, so I'm 20 years old now and I've definitely grown out of the whole teenage rebellion thing.

But for roughly 4 years (say 16-19), I did the whole teenage rebellion thing pretty badly. Dressed a bit seductively, kissed a few too many boys, got a bit cheeky to my school teachers, experimented with alcohol, snuck out of the house to go to parties as my strict parents wouldn't let me go, nearly got myself fired from a college internship e.t.c.

But, by and large, nothing REALLY SERIOUS (i.e. no drugs, no juvenile hall or anything like that!).

But I just can't get over this awful period of imperfection in my life. It makes me feel so flawed and is ruining my life. I've now become obsessed with obeying to the rules and being pure, clean and perfect.

Has anyone else struggled with this?

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Sounds almost identical to my teen years. I did some stupid stuff, but nothing really, really bad.

At the age of 17 I accepted Christ as my Savior. I get great comfort in knowing that He has forgiven me and loves me....He loved me even while I was doing all those horrible things. That helps me better cope with what I did and not have as much regret as I may have if I had never gotten Saved.

Emily_G said:

Sounds almost identical to my teen years. I did some stupid stuff, but nothing really, really bad.

At the age of 17 I accepted Christ as my Savior. I get great comfort in knowing that He has forgiven me and loves me....He loved me even while I was doing all those horrible things. That helps me better cope with what I did and not have as much regret as I may have if I had never gotten Saved.

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Out of curiosity, you were not a Christian before then? Or were you a born-again Christian? Sorry if I got the terms wrong.

OP: No worries... we all learn by making mistakes. As you yourself have pointed out, it was nothing major and you got out of it ok.

I never did anything even remotely rebellious, in my teenage years or otherwise. I almost feel like it's something I needed to go through in order to really grow up, and maybe that's why at 31 I still don't really feel like an adult or know who I am... I don't know.

My rebellious phase consisted of me starting to listen to classical musical and taking a particular interest in cooking. It was also about the time when I started concentrate on my general artistic skills (underdeveloped as they may be).

>,> ...Yeeaaaah.


But you've got nothing to be ashamed of. Being a kid/teen is all about making mistakes and learning from them. If anything, that rebellious phase might do you allot of good some day. ;3

After all, you didn't get involved with drugs, and it didn't result in a police record. Whomever you were back then, you're not anymore. :3

Dronee said:

Out of curiosity, you were not a Christian before then? Or were you a born-again Christian? Sorry if I got the terms wrong.

OP: No worries... we all learn by making mistakes. As you yourself have pointed out, it was nothing major and you got out of it ok.

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People use the term "Christian" incorrectly. Someone who is a Christian is someone who has become born-again (or Saved, mean the same thing). If a person is not born-again, they have no repented of their sin and accepted Christ as payment they are not a Christian. LOTS of people claim the title "Christian" and aren't.

In short: No I wasn't a Christian before Feb 29, 2004...the day of my Salvation and rebirth

He he, OP, it sounds like you had fun? If it was nothing dangerous like you say, you can perhaps just be happy it's over and move on?
Hopefully you learn a lot from all that too. And maybe you can apologize to your teachers and parents if you haven't yet?

I may be having a period of rebellion now, I was too shy in high school too, and it's probably worse as you get older. (It's different from what you are writing though.) Had a period of going to parties too, at least you did that and don't regret not doing it now?

I've had troubles with perfectionism too, still having them sometimes.. Basically try to think of it this way: it makes you more interesting and more colorful!! And if you are religious now (sounds like it?) Jesus did hang out with the 'imperfect' people too.. (Even with those much more imperfect than all of us..)

Emily, this is the first time I heard of what you write and I've been raised as a Catholic and a Christian (though more spiritual than religious). Everyone here says all Catholics, Protestants and other religions that are based on Christ are Christian. Look into a dictionary too. I wonder if you are in some sort of cult or baptist or something? If you are, it's not my business to be judgemental, just please have your eyes open. I know people who were badly damaged by religious cults or practices.. And it took years to process it later, or they still haven't come to terms with it..

I really do respect people living their religion and being people with integrity, just thought I'd throw it in anyway to still use your head and common sense.. I'm glad it helps you cope with things though.

Feathers said:

Emily, this is the first time I heard of what you write and I've been raised as a Catholic and a Christian (though more spiritual than religious). Everyone here says all Catholics, Protestants and other religions that are based on Christ are Christian. Look into a dictionary too. I wonder if you are in some sort of cult or baptist or something? If you are, it's not my business to be judgemental, just please have your eyes open. I know people who were badly damaged by religious cults or practices.. And it took years to process it later, or they still haven't come to terms with it..

I really do respect people living their religion and being people with integrity, just thought I'd throw it in anyway to still use your head and common sense.. I'm glad it helps you cope with things though.

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I use the term 'Christian', but I don't really care for it. It's meaning has been made into something it's not. I attend a Baptist church, lol, we are not a cult

Just let it go. It was during a time where you were young and stupid, so you have an excuse. If you value being pure, clean and obedient now, then do so!

Emily_G said:

I use the term 'Christian', but I don't really care for it. It's meaning has been made into something it's not. I attend a Baptist church, lol, we are not a cult

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i understand what you're saying emily... all she means is you're not a "Christian" just because you go to church, no more than you're a car just because you sat in the garage.... being 'Christian' is about accepting God into your heart and living for him and through him, it's an entire way of life and not everyone that goes to church has made that commitment... it's not a way to say "hey, you're not as good as me", it's just using the word in the literal sense...

and anyway, nah, baptists certainly aren't a cult, haha..

agoraphobickatie said:

i understand what you're saying emily... all she means is you're not a "Christian" just because you go to church, no more than you're a car just because you sat in the garage.... being 'Christian' is about accepting God into your heart and living for him and through him, it's an entire way of life and not everyone that goes to church has made that commitment... it's not a way to say "hey, you're not as good as me", it's just using the word in the literal sense...

and anyway, nah, baptists certainly aren't a cult, haha..

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Exactly, great way of explaining it gracias senorita!

Wow you make me feel like Che Guevara. Please take some solace in knowing that many much, much worse things have been done by many people. It's in the past anyway and it sounds like your a different person now.

I was trapped at home most of the time no contact with the outer world...

I'm seventeen right now, other than dating an older woman I really haven't drank, smoked, tried drugs, or gotten into any big trouble.

I drank and did drugs (every single day all day for four years), did a lot of bad things (exclusively to bad people), then ended up in a hospital at 19 for a severe anxiety disorder, and now I'm here... I've pretty much just chalked it all up to a learning experience

At 16 I got sent to rehab because I was on probation for breaking into a house and failed 5 drug test.

Now I am scared to cuss......

I think they brainwashed me.