The Work Situation

I have a few questions. But first, I'll explain the scenario.

I have an internship at a major paper. I love that I'm doing it. I feel very important. I feel like it's a collection in my tiny win box. For the first two months, everything was fine. Stories in on time. I loved coming in. Tried to be friendly with everyone. I think I got on my editors nerves or something because I over heard him and others talking about my work. I shot pass anger and right to the shakey, can't function mode. Now, I'm in the I'm scared to even go to work mode. I haven't been to class in weeks, I've missed work. All that I've worked hard to maintain in spite of having this thing that I can't explain, has been set back. I told my supervisor and he understands but is stumped to a solution. I also told a work friend. I don't want to quit but I don't want to be unproductive because of this thing.
When I have major set backs like this, I get depressed and stay at home and cut off a lot of communication. I just tell the world, "Forget it. I can't deal with this!"

1. How do you cope when things like this happen?
2. Should I tell the person that's over my internship?
3. Have you told anyone about your SA or SP? How'd it work out?
4. What do I do the internship?
5. What do I do about school?

*Only for advice, not for treatment, so that I may keep with the rules of the forum*

So what was the editor saying about you? Talking about your work doesn't have to be a bad thing, but I am guessing you heard something that you perceived was bad?

Yea. He pretty much blew me off one day when I tried to talk to him. He was actually talking about me. And about my work. And he's even annoyed when I speak with him. I don't feel comfortable in the office space no more.

So he's at the top of the ladder and you're at the bottom? So maybe he feels he doesn't have to deal with you, that's the supervisors job? If he was critical of your work, then that's his job as editor (sounds like he didn't do it well though). It's important at work to be able to handle criticism constructivly, no one gets it 100% right all the time, its ok to make mistakes. Or it may be that your work is very good and the editor doesn't like competition. Keep it all going, back to work and school, its a great opportunity but roll with the punches.

ps - if i'm completely off track on this, please say :]

I take criticism. But he TALKS about me with others. I feel that's crossing a line.

I'm more saying that he created this...environment that's hard for me to work in. And I don't know what to do or if I should say something to the people in charge.

There were times when I have wanted to quit but I didn't because then all my efforts would have been for nothing. We have to keep going no matter how difficult things seem. If we run and hide every time something gets difficult then it becomes easier and easier to avoid distressing situations. This can form into a nasty cycle. It's best to stop it before it becomes worse. You have been given a great opportunity. It would be a shame to throw it away.

nicole1 said:

I take criticism. But he TALKS about me with others. I feel that's crossing a line.

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Everyone talks about everyone. I've come to terms with this as I got back to work. Someone will talk about me and someone will talk about them. I'm very sure that my bosses talk about me because I know they talk about others. I've made mistakes, but as long as I'm reliable, responsible and I do my work then people can talk all they want. It's not worth stressing over especially if your future career is at risk.

Clearer picture now, so hopefully this is more helpful

1. How do you cope when things like this happen?

I would try to understand why they were like that to me - and if are they like that with other people; apart from that I would try to keep out of their way and focus on the work, ignore the situation as much as possible and see if it improves by itself. Often problems at work can become bigger in our minds than they need to be

2. Should I tell the person that's over my internship?

Yes, keep important people informed

3. Have you told anyone about your SA or SP? How'd it work out?

I've told supervisors about depression and they were fine and even supportive. I would talk about anxiety if it was an issue, its fairly common, so they would understand

4. What do I do the internship?

Keep it going!

5. What do I do about school?

Keep it going!!

power to the people lol

Well, what is wrong with you? ..
You have alot going on for you.. can you just be confident..
maybe you feel that people are better than you so you are shying away..
you did it once, you can do it again... just come out.. and dont care too much if you make mistake, your not perfect... you need to let go of being a perfectionist and accept you make mistake, you look like a fool.. but who cares.. you are human after all.

dont expect everything to be perfect all the time and you should be fine! If you mess up, well so what.. everyone does.. just start again..

Things can only be better if you change your perception.

phocas said:

Clearer picture now, so hopefully this is more helpful

1. How do you cope when things like this happen?

I would try to understand why they were like that to me - and if are they like that with other people; apart from that I would try to keep out of their way and focus on the work, ignore the situation as much as possible and see if it improves by itself. Often problems at work can become bigger in our minds than they need to be

2. Should I tell the person that's over my internship?

Yes, keep important people informed

3. Have you told anyone about your SA or SP? How'd it work out?

I've told supervisors about depression and they were fine and even supportive. I would talk about anxiety if it was an issue, its fairly common, so they would understand

4. What do I do the internship?

Keep it going!

5. What do I do about school?

Keep it going!!

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Thanks a lot. I just emailed the head person for the internship. I hope she can understand. I try to keep it to myself because I fear I won't be understood.

And thank you all for your advice.

popolala said:

Well, what is wrong with you? ..
You have alot going on for you.. can you just be confident..
maybe you feel that people are better than you so you are shying away..
you did it once, you can do it again... just come out.. and dont care too much if you make mistake, your not perfect... you need to let go of being a perfectionist and accept you make mistake, you look like a fool.. but who cares.. you are human after all.

dont expect everything to be perfect all the time and you should be fine! If you mess up, well so what.. everyone does.. just start again..

Things can only be better if you change your perception.

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If I could do that, I'd have no problem and I wouldn't be here. I'm pretty confident, love what I'm doing. I just have a harder time dealing with certain things. I've had psychologists tell me the same. I try to think the same but still, whatever is going on, I can't help it. It's me. All I can do is find ways to cope. I've kicked a**, and I'm very proud of myself. I do have a problem with this and it's ruining my life. That's what's wrong with me.

nicole1 said:

If I could do that, I'd have no problem and I wouldn't be here. I'm pretty confident, love what I'm doing. I just have a harder time dealing with certain things. I've had psychologists tell me the same. I try to think the same but still, whatever is going on, I can't help it. It's me. All I can do is find ways to cope. I've kicked a**, and I'm very proud of myself. I do have a problem with this and it's ruining my life. That's what's wrong with me.

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I think it was ever since you heard your editor critizizing your work, you feel this way. You cannot accept critizim... maybe you need to not care what people think, and let it go.. i mean it!

Because of that comment, you are being overwhelmed.. your going to get more sooner, you need to know that now.. and learn to accept it. People are bound to have an opinion about your work, not everyone going to like it and thats the truth.

Your there to learn, so just suck it up, and learn from it. You prob have lots to learn, and take in... if you miss class, your missing out on alot of knowledge. Whatever opinion they have, may even be a good one, i say, get advise from that person.. and everyone. You can take it or leave it, but keep to your own style of writing.. If they didnt like you, they wouldnt had took u on, so you need to believe in yourself!

this may help you..
How to Handle Negative Critizim

automatly, you need to move on.. your going to move on later.. so just move on now.. dont waste anymore time thinking about this, it only make you even more sad..

layeazy said:

power to the people lol

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What do you mean?

popolala said:

I think it was ever since you heard your editor critizizing your work, you feel this way. You cannot accept critizim... maybe you need to not care what people think, and let it go.. i mean it!

Because of that comment, you are being overwhelmed.. your going to get more sooner, you need to know that now.. and learn to accept it. People are bound to have an opinion about your work, not everyone going to like it and thats the truth.

Your there to learn, so just suck it up, and learn from it. You prob have lots to learn, and take in... if you miss class, your missing out on alot of knowledge. Whatever opinion they have, may even be a good one, i say, get advise from that person.. and everyone. You can take it or leave it, but keep to your own style of writing.. If they didnt like you, they wouldnt had took u on, so you need to believe in yourself!

this may help you..
How to Handle Negative Critizim

automatly, you need to move on.. your going to move on later.. so just move on now.. dont waste anymore time thinking about this, it only make you even more sad..

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Actually, I can handle criticism well. I've asked him to criticize my work and he's even helped me with one story to develop it. It's his job, it's every editors' job. He's just a mean person. You don't know me but from what I've posted here. They're always talking about people, mostly making personal shots. We recently moved from one news area, where the cubicles were tall and I had tons of privacy. Now, they are at face level, and no privacy at all. I've began freaking out. I went onto a stage and began panicking as they were snapping my photo. You can't tell me how to handle it other than with what I asked for help with.
Thanks for the assumptions and advice given based on that. But trust me, that's not the problem. In this career path, I've received tons of criticism. I had to learn to turn in stories and not worry about them so much. I also KNOW that there are worse writers than me.
I didn't come here to be judged or for someone with out a degree to make an assumption on who I am or why I am this way, I asked for a few of your own experiences in this instance and what would be the best way to handle it.
I will admit I'm a perfectionist, and that has it's own pros and cons. That's not my problem. My problem is finding a solution to coping in this work environment that I don't feel comfortable in. I don't feel comfortable around people AT ALL. And I've always tried. This didn't come all of a sudden, this started at 12. I missed most of my classes in high school and most in college. I'm a few years behind because of it. I've came a long way, and I'm proud. I have to fight with this, go from idiot doctor to idiot doctor and looking up to find out what's so wrong with me. I've impressed many on the way. I'm intelligent and I'm a passionate person, and I'm confident about that.

So, in short, thanks for the help but it's not the problem...

nicole1 said:

I didn't come here to be judged or for someone with out a degree to make an assumption on who I am or why I am this way

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Okay, i dont know then, maybe you should see a docter, but no need to insult.

popolala said:

Okay, i dont know then, maybe you should see a docter, but no need to insult me.

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I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying you can't assume that about me and that I didn't ask to be judged. Not having a degree is not an insult. My mother doesn't have a degree, neither does my father. Heck not many in my family. But there is someone out there, with a degree, that will understand my behaviors more than you can. That's all I meant.

nicole1 said:

I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying you can't assume that about me and that I didn't ask to be judged. Not having a degree is not an insult. My mother doesn't have a degree, neither does my father. Heck not many in my family. But there is someone out there, with a degree, that will understand my behaviors more than you can. That's all I meant.

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I just dont understand why you would tell me not to assume, and then you just assume i dont have a degree, and even have to say that. If it wasnt an insult, or anything particular. i dont see why you should mention it. Plus, i dont think having a degree would mean they would understand what you going through, because you have a degree and you dont even know your own problem. Was jus trying to help. thanks for being rude.

popolala said:

I just dont understand why you would tell me not to assume, and then you just assume i dont have a degree, and even have to say that. If it wasnt an insult, or anything particular. i dont see why you should mention it. Plus, i dont think having a degree would mean they would understand what you going through, because you have a degree and you dont even know your own problem. Was jus trying to help. thanks for being rude.

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I'm also majoring in psychology. While I do not know methods on handling certain situations that I have, I do know enough. I read studies. I consult with people who have experienced this. It's one thing knowing what it is and another knowing how to handle it.
Do you have a degree? I'm sorry if I assumed you don't. Is it in psychology?
And trust me, I'm not being rude. You were. And you still didn't answer the question. I thanked you for your assumption, didn't I? I tried to explain what I've been through and that you're looking at it wrong. I said that you aren't qualified to make judgements on how this thing started. You missed the point entirely.
I'm sorry if I seemed rude... I do get that from others but that's not my intention. I'm just more to the point about certain things than others.