an observation
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
Yossarian
Well-known member
I'm sorry you feel that way guest. Could you give some examples? what posts, where etc do we do this?
As for wallowing in our misery, I find talking, sharing, finding support from others very positive and that there is very little wallowing. I have found personally that this site lifts alot of bad feelings and have felt alot more optimistic after coming here.
Surely you understand the concept of talking about and sharing your problems. At the very least it helps deal with loneliness and being misunderstood by others. To me that's a good thing.
As for wallowing in our misery, I find talking, sharing, finding support from others very positive and that there is very little wallowing. I have found personally that this site lifts alot of bad feelings and have felt alot more optimistic after coming here.
Surely you understand the concept of talking about and sharing your problems. At the very least it helps deal with loneliness and being misunderstood by others. To me that's a good thing.
Yossarian
Well-known member
Yeah although I'm never sure exactly what people mean by it. If miserable people come together and it helps them, I just see that as a good thing. I can only talk from my point of view.
For me it helps, not just to talk about the bad stuff but I have a laugh here too. Not to mention meeting cool people with which I can talk about other stuff, not just SA/P (SAP?). I have met my best friend who I love dearly and care very much for here.
If coming here replaced normal socialising I would agree it was bad. But that isn't the case for me...which is all I can say really.
For me it helps, not just to talk about the bad stuff but I have a laugh here too. Not to mention meeting cool people with which I can talk about other stuff, not just SA/P (SAP?). I have met my best friend who I love dearly and care very much for here.
If coming here replaced normal socialising I would agree it was bad. But that isn't the case for me...which is all I can say really.
Yossarian
Well-known member
Anonymous said:
I missed this post in my last reply. We are still individuals but with some things in common that most other people won't understand. It all affects us in different ways and most probably for different reasons.
Sure we won't understand everything about everyone but for those who do find common ground it can be positive. I'm sorry it doesn't help you but that's no reason for others to stop coming here.
Even if people were just saying that to boost their self-esteem, is that such a bad thing? Considering how low many peoples self-esteem is.... assuming of course it's not boosted by lowering other peoples.
Anonymous
Well-known member
I agree that many guests at this site Do wallow in their self pity. Having said that - Sharing the solutions I've had to come up for myself really makes me feel better and I feel good that I can help another person feel more Normal. Also if you're that upset about their attitude it says a lot about your feelings for yourself. We despise in others that which we are most guilty of.
Yossarian
Well-known member
Anonymous said:you are right yoss. funny how similar the definitions of ego and self esteem are. Excessive pride- bad. Self-esteem- good. I better shut up now, before people start going off about herds of lettuce and watermelon kings
:lol:
I think I tend to associate pride with arrogance. As a sense of self that is in comparison to others. i.e. if you're proud you think of yourself as better than other people. While I tend to think of self-esteem as more a sense of yourself without comparing yourself to others. So for me someone with high self-esteem doesn't necessarily look down on others, they just think they have merit.....arrgh it's blurry really. I know these aren't dictionary definitions but just how I think of them I guess.
GettingThere
Well-known member
Anonymous said:
I don't think that you have looked too far on the site. But yes there are plenty of posts about problems. You see this is a forum about SP which is a problem. If its a forum about a problem then there are going to be posts about problems. Think about it einstein.
Anonymous
Well-known member
SHOOT ME said:
Ok, but...Who won?
being serious, i would like to thank yoss for telling what i would have said plus something else. but i think he missed something he also said in one of my posts "ol' peeps"
the "real world" is waiting for all of you(us). while this forum might be source of identification and help, its not health to think on it all day long.
pff, where do i start? Ok, everything that you read/see/hear stick automatically into your head. good or bad. So you need to be selective on this otherwise you wont be able to forget about it that easily.
Now, if spw becomes a source of anxiety instead of help, good mood, relieve, catarsis, laughs, curiosity etc. i think that the original poster might as well give it a break for at least a month and fill his head with the real world. i guess this goes to all the Internet Life. i'll stop here because i know nobody will give up Internet for good. this is part of humanity now and is taking human kind for surprise so theres a lil we can do about it.
The concerns need to be about the real world. you can get help in the real world as well or sometimes in the internet wich acts as a newspaper to me. cheers. if im contradicting myself lemme know.In the other hand...isnt virtual reality part of the real world as well? :? in some terms it is.
Anonymous
Well-known member
I agree with a lot of this.This site serves a great purpose in the early days when you finally discover the problem you are facing has a name "sa".
It is good on 2 fronts,firstly you can get a lot of comfort from knowing that others are suffering with sa and it's other cousins and secondly it is a good way to find out what help and treatments are available.from this you can decide which treatment path to take,as we all want to rid ourselves of this problem.But I think the danger of falling into the trap of dependance on a site like this and avoiding real contact with people or avoiding treatment and hoping to find an instant cure on this forum one day.
As for self pity and wallowing,yes sure there is lots of this and this is expected,as we go through times of depression as a result of this.I try not to dwell on these posts,but will give support to people who are genuinly looking for help and not just bitching about life.Did you know that self pity is a negative emotion,which just makes your anxiety worse!
The internet is a wonderful tool,but can be highly addictive.Sure it won't harm you like drugs or other addictive substances.But it does cause you to avoid real life.Believe me I know,as I used to spend 2-3 hors a day at work and then 4-5 hours in the evening on the net.I think I started doing this as a distraction,as I was avoiding going out to pubs/clubs because of my sa.Did it do me any good? - No it only made my problem worse.I avoided many social events,or left early and went home to my pc.but I'm not blaming it for all my problems as I had symptoms before this.I'm trying to move forward in as many ways as I can.Today I only use the internet to send a few mails,or check a few sites.I check in here now and again,to see if there are any good suggestions on theraphy.I can tell you that at first it was very painful,like comming off drink or drugs.It was wierd to spend time in the living room watching tv,going out to meet friends,etc.One big problem that it has left me with,is that the poor social skills that I had are now worse.I can't keep good conversation going and am quiet and awkward most of the time.I do know that it will be hard to get this back and indeed the friends that I have distanced myself from,but I will keep on trying to go forward.
So people,don't stop using the internet,but please do not make the same mistake I made.You only have one shot at this,turn off your pc,watch tv,read a book,go see the doc,make an appointment for therapy,go for a walk,go out,ring a relative or friend,go shopping,buy something nice,join a club.don't dwell and fall into the self pity net.Our thoughts and fellings are way more negative and hopeless that our life actually is.And life certainly won't improve by sitting here wallowing in self pity.
It is good on 2 fronts,firstly you can get a lot of comfort from knowing that others are suffering with sa and it's other cousins and secondly it is a good way to find out what help and treatments are available.from this you can decide which treatment path to take,as we all want to rid ourselves of this problem.But I think the danger of falling into the trap of dependance on a site like this and avoiding real contact with people or avoiding treatment and hoping to find an instant cure on this forum one day.
As for self pity and wallowing,yes sure there is lots of this and this is expected,as we go through times of depression as a result of this.I try not to dwell on these posts,but will give support to people who are genuinly looking for help and not just bitching about life.Did you know that self pity is a negative emotion,which just makes your anxiety worse!
The internet is a wonderful tool,but can be highly addictive.Sure it won't harm you like drugs or other addictive substances.But it does cause you to avoid real life.Believe me I know,as I used to spend 2-3 hors a day at work and then 4-5 hours in the evening on the net.I think I started doing this as a distraction,as I was avoiding going out to pubs/clubs because of my sa.Did it do me any good? - No it only made my problem worse.I avoided many social events,or left early and went home to my pc.but I'm not blaming it for all my problems as I had symptoms before this.I'm trying to move forward in as many ways as I can.Today I only use the internet to send a few mails,or check a few sites.I check in here now and again,to see if there are any good suggestions on theraphy.I can tell you that at first it was very painful,like comming off drink or drugs.It was wierd to spend time in the living room watching tv,going out to meet friends,etc.One big problem that it has left me with,is that the poor social skills that I had are now worse.I can't keep good conversation going and am quiet and awkward most of the time.I do know that it will be hard to get this back and indeed the friends that I have distanced myself from,but I will keep on trying to go forward.
So people,don't stop using the internet,but please do not make the same mistake I made.You only have one shot at this,turn off your pc,watch tv,read a book,go see the doc,make an appointment for therapy,go for a walk,go out,ring a relative or friend,go shopping,buy something nice,join a club.don't dwell and fall into the self pity net.Our thoughts and fellings are way more negative and hopeless that our life actually is.And life certainly won't improve by sitting here wallowing in self pity.
Anonymous
Well-known member
Anonymous said:
I don't see any competition here.
And as for the wallowing. SP, if you understand it, is very debilitating.
To get on in this world you have to interact with people. SP isn't something that is made up, it is real. Of course people are not going to feel good about having it and there is a bit of self pity involved. Who ever wrote you can't feel sorry for yourself. People with SP have joined this site to find answers and relate if you read the posts. Sharing your problems is to do with discovery and recovery. People are looking for solutions to their problems. I don’t see that as “wallowing”.