Anybody Suffer From These Symptoms

[bluenose]

Hullo folks, found this forum & hoped maybe somebody can offer some advice.

I have a 16 year old son. Up until last summer he was a very outgoing person, very rarely stayed in. Was out with large groups of friends (girls & Boys). He has quite an aggressive personality especially when dealing with me :evil:

He does not leave the house these days as he claims when he does he starts to overheat & starts to sweat so excessively he ends up drenched from head to foot. He feels everybody is talking about him or staring at him.This is a boy who until last summer was a very tough lad (not a bully)just someone who is very streetwise & could take care of himself.

He has been on cannabis through his own admission but claims he is no longer. He also claims he just wants the problem to go away so he can get back out with his Mates. The several attempts he has made to go out with his mates has lasted minutes & he's back home in all sorts of distress.

We used to have a fair amount of girls at the door wanting to see him and many mates. These days the phone never rings for him anymore. He claims he has absolutely no idea why this is happening so can't tell us anything

Can anyone relate to any of this. many thanks

bluenose

 

[Fredscars]

sounds to me like you should perhaps consult a medical advisor. or talk to your son and try and make sure hes not in any kind of problem, mates or police wise.
a kid i knew got into trouble form police and she did the whole 'i cant go out im scared' routine to wait until the trouble had passed. I doubt your son is doing that, she was a bit...she had problems at home, at school and in her mind, ya know. but going from my parents wanted tyo know, you need to talk to your son, seriously and deeply. you have to knopw everything. It wont be easy, but then teenagers never are. im 15, i should know. :lol:

 

[bluenose]

thanks M8. He is due to see a specialist, just waiting on the appointment coming in the post. I have a gut feeling it's something to do with his appearance. Changes during the late teen years etc. He's not been to school since before Christmas & prob won't be going back. This prob stopped him from attending a bricklaying course at the tech. he lasted only one morning.I find it very hard to communicate with him, basically we have the same personalities
He's very close to his mum though but even she has no clue what is going on.

 

[Fredscars]

thats harsh. But not all that suprising. the only reason my parents ever found out anything was because my teacher insisted on knowing why i kept crying and i had to tell him, then anytime i cried or had a panick attack hed phone them and made sure that i told them about it. your son is lucky hes going to see a specialist. My parents wanted me too but i refused. now i want to, my teacher doesnt help me any more so i dont tell my parents anything and i dont have the confidence to ask to go. Im in it alone really.
If he can get it dealt with as soon as possible, whatever his problem is then thats good. I think if its caught early (if it is Social anxiety disorder, or anything for that matter) then it has to be a good thing, because it can be controlled.

 

[racheH]

I agree with fredscarecrow - get him some proper help. Personally my guess would be of paranoia rather than social phobia. I would just bare that possibility in mind, because they seem reluctant to diagnose it in children, but it happens. Paranoid behaviour could certainly drive his friends away. Also he may really be being bullied, and that might be harder to admit for someone who used to be popular.

 

[Horatio]

sounds a little similiar to myself when I was that age when I was getting bullied a lot.

That was plenty incentive to stop joining sports teams etc and I never liked talking to my parents about it.

anyways just dont jump to any conclusions about your son, it might not be a medical problem at all, it could just as easily be a problem in his social group which makes him worry when he is in that group. but do look into it as this could lead to mental illness - staying at home like that isnt reccomended

 

[bluenose]

it's certainly not being bullied. On that front he's as hard as nails!!
It could be due to his aggressive behaviour/ short temper he's losing his freinds.
Thanks very much for your responses, really appreciate your comments.

 

[GettingThere]

Avoidance behaviour is something which can come from a variety of things including SP as well as the other possibilities mentioned already plus possibly depression or other conditions.

The advice given re seeing a Doctor is sound advice indeed.

 

[annie]

Dear bluenose,

You might want to read this article:-

http://www.adavic.org/articles/marijuana01.htm

annie

 

[Hamble]

it's certainly not being bullied. On that front he's as hard as nails!!
It could be due to his aggressive behaviour/ short temper he's losing his freinds.
Thanks very much for your responses, really appreciate your comments.

How do you know he's not being bullied? Just because he puts on a tough "front" doesn't mean comments and events that have happened to him at school etc havent affected him. He might be short tempered and aggressive at home but that doesnt mean things don't affect him.
Maybe he doesnt want to communicate his probs to you as he's worried your opinion of him being a "tough lad who can handle anything" like yourself, will change. Maybe hes worried about disapointing you by admitting what you might call, weakness.

I think you should have a man to man talk, but before that, keep reasuring him that no matter whats going on or whatever's happened, doesn't make him any less of a man in your eyes. Maybe tell him a few things about crap events you experienced as a teenager that you'd never have admitted before, to break the ice.

He sounds like he looks up to you, and is too proud to confide in his mother. The poor guy sounds like he really wants to communicate whats going on, but can't do it because he feels he has this "image" to keep up and so is bottling it all up and avoiding the issue.

I feel that you could help him more than a specialist could.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

kudos to you for being involved and not only noticing a change but getting him help for it too. once you can identify the problem, you can work on fixing it. hope everything works out for both of you.

 

[LazerCarp]

i used to actually be really confident then suddenly got SA over the period of a few months so it could be a similar thing. Alternatively a lot of people who smoke a lot of weed say they've started getting similar stuff so it could be that.

 

[cody2468]

You son is lucky that he has got someone who cares enough about him to get help. I was bullied at school and my personality changed. Even though I was shy I used to be very happy and had lots of friends. Overnight I became moody, withdrawn, pushed all my freinds away and never went any there. He has obviously got a problem of some sort and hopefully he can get the right help he needs to get back on track.

 

[missluiza]

good work so far

well done for trying to get your son some help. Maybe he's having some sort of identity crisis-it sounds to me from the 'hard as nails' bit that he may have spent the last few years shutting off his emotions and acting like the tough guy and as aggressivity generally breeds unhappiness and irritability, maybe he's trying to reach inside himself to find something softer but is too scared of the consequences, thus bringing about a fundamental identity crisis which would allow the conditions for social anxiety to set in.(Phew, long sentence).
In any case, he definitely needs medical attention as well as having someone to talk to-I think that social anxiety is easier to deal with in the beginning stages as once it gets hold, it can be more complicated to get rid of.
Keep up the good parenting and good luck.

 

[Cutegal]

i used to actually be really confident then suddenly got SA over the period of a few months so it could be a similar thing. Alternatively a lot of people who smoke a lot of weed say they've started getting similar stuff so it could be that.

dosnt sound like you have SA to me if you were once confident, maybe its panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder?

what do you think caused it to happen over those few months?