Assertiveness - are you assertive?

[GettingThere]

Definition
assertive
adjective

describes someone who behaves confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe:

I have a bit of a problem in saying no to friends when they ask me - for instance - to go somewhere when I don't really want to, or to do something when my preference would be to do something else.

Given the thought processes which take place in the SAer's mind at times, I assumer that this is a common problem?

 

[Horatio]

Yes your right

I find it extremely difficult to be assertive and because of that reason people tend to take advantage of me.

For instance in previous flatting situations at times I would pay more than my fair share simply to avoid having to be assertive because I always lost any argument anyway.

I think most people in the world can spot weaknesses in other people a mile away and if possible will always try to exploit it.

Thats my experience anyways

 

[Crimefish]

I'm confident in everyway except socially. I always say what I want and what I believe. Everyone should hear my opinions. :wink:
I also never do anything I don't want to do, if I don't have to do it. I'm pretty annoying like that.

 

[Anonymous]

hehe crimefish, you sound like a right stubborn old mule :lol:

But I'm exactly the same. I've become particularly good at saying no to things I don't want to do.

Had a bloke on the phone last night carrying out a nation-wide survey on behalf of the government. He was very insistent that I took part. My opinion was very important to them and they would greatly value my point of view. It was my duty to participate, apparently. I politely declined. He then went on to earnestly try to persuade me. I still politely said "no". After his 5th persuasive prelection on why I should partiipate was met by my 5th polite "no", he gave up, exasperated.

I'm proud, very proud.

 

[IceLad]

Like alot of the previous posts, I have real trouble saying no, so I guess its quite a common trait for people with SA.

I do think that people at work seem to take advantage of this. I often find myself doing things that are above my job grade, and which I don't like doing anyway because it causes me anxiety!

The one thing I especially hate is when I get invited to a social event, and I have to muster that one dreaded word, and then think of a plausible explanation why I don't want to go to the event.

 

[LilMissTragic]

No trouble here either. I do what I want to do. I find it easy to say no.